To not understand where I am going wrong?

[PeppaAteMySoul]

My 3 year old DS has always been tall and chunky. Has been on the 90th percentile pretty much since birth. He weighs 18kg and is 106cm tall. NHS children bmi calculator tells me that's bad. Visited my GP for advice who told me not to worry about his weight as I'm doing all the right things. I am worried though.

He walks to and from his playgroup every day (that's 2.2 miles) and is reasonably active when he gets home.

I've been keeping a food diary for him and for example yesterday it went something like:
Breakfast:
Bowl of porridge with teaspoon of jam stirred in. Half a banana.
Snack: Fruit at nursery.
Lunch: Half a Pitta bread, half a raw carrot chopped into sticks, few sticks of cucumber, half an apple, teaspoon of hummus. Kids yoghurt.
Dinner: Small bowl of vegetarian sausage casserole. Few slices of garlic bread. Kiwi chopped up.

I know I could cut out the jam in the porridge and the yoghurt as both are full of sugar. What else though? I've been told my portion sizes are fine on here and by GP. I'm so worried I'm letting him down. He is noticeably bigger than his friends at nursery. Me and his father are both naturally slim- I'm a size 6/8- so it can't be a genetic thing. It must be something I'm doing wrong. I'm about tp have another baby and upset I will make the same mistakes with this child as well.

[ExpatTrailingSpouse]

i wouldn't worry either - there's a picture of me when i'm probably about 2-3 years old, next to my sister, about 6-7 years old and i'm bigger than her... i turned out totally normal sized (it was literally just baby fat still). my nephews also started off rather big but dropped the weight once they started school. on the other hand, ds (3), eats like a horse and i can't get him above 50th percentile for weight (80-90 for height).

[PeppaAteMySoul]

Yes, casserole contained red kidney beans as well as the quorn sausages.
Today he's had half egg mayo sandwich at lunch time and for dinner will have lentil spaghetti. Snack was baked porridge fingers which contain sunflower seeds and chopped nuts. Does that sound proteiny enough? It something I worry about as I'm not vegetarian myself. (DP is though)

[MillionToOneChances]

Does eat dairy, pulses and beans, nuts, tofu

I noticed it was a vegetarian diet, just in the sample day you gave no nuts were mentioned, only a teaspoon of hummus and a small bowl of veggie sausage casserole which I thought probably contained beans/pulses. It was just a thought.

[Northend77]

And I meant at their parents, never at the child itself

[Northend77]

I'm one of those mum's who's guilty of having made passing comments at bigger toddlers but I've only ever meant it as they are normally chunky (as many babies toddlers are meant to be), I've never ever meant it in a nasty way or as a dig at a child's weight. It just stems from me having the opposite problem to you in that one of my twins is so skinny you can see all of her ribs and spine when she bends over and I can get my hands around her entire waist! And she eats twice or 3 times as much as all the others in her nursery! I worry just as you do but at the opposite end of the scale so often my comments about another toddler are somewhat out of envy at having something lovely and squidgy to cuddle, rather than a bag of bones! It has made me realise though that they could be taken in the wrong context so I will be more sensitive in future

You son's diet sounds perfect to me and I've known of plenty of babies and toddlers who were bigger than their peers at a young age but evened out (most remained tall) when at school.

[KitKats28]

His food is fine. He obviously isn't picky if he eats a good variety of vegetarian food. Be careful you don't take the stupid comments to heart and start cutting his food. He needs nourishment to grow and thrive.

As for centiles, if he has followed the 90th curve from birth, then that is perfectly fine. If he had deviated massively either way, then that may be a cause for concern. Centiles have very little to do with being over- or underweight. They are a way of plotting a child's growth from birth to say 5, as a quick way of flagging any possible medical issues related to growth.

If your son is on the 90th centile, all this means is that 80% of boys his age are smaller than him, 10% are the same and 10% are bigger.

[TrueBlueYorkshire]

If what you are feeding him is healthy and good for his growth you shouldn't worry. I would always be more concerned about malnutrition before weight especially when they are small.

[Pythonesque]

I'm glad you're getting reassurance from this thread. As it happens my son was measured at 3 yrs 5 months. Height 102 cm, weight 20 kg. Chunky, yes, but healthy and happy. He has slimmed down steadily; age 11 I've just replaced his PE shorts from the ones I got him (admittedly large then) in reception age 4. Mainly because they were wearing out, he could still wear them! His older sister was a similar size and is a tall size 6-8 age 14.

The difference in width of children can mean the larger kids look enormous compared to some of the more petite ones, without being at all unhealthy. I'm semi-convinced that BMI-based checks at school entry age are not accurate for those who are near the taller (or, probably, the shorter) extremes. Probably get a better estimate of obesity risk if they waited to age 6 or 7.

[MariposaUno]

Op I'm sure he will even out over time, He is a toddler and has plenty growing to do.
If Dr's say he is fine and if he isn't eating unhealthily I would just carry on the way you are.

I seen most chunky babys/toddlers slim down around age 5/6 age as they get taller.

My dd is 5 and doesn't eat as much as your ds but she's always been skinny little but within range.
All kids are different.

[Gowgirl]

Stop weighing him! Put the red book out of sight, and ig ore other people, as soon as he has a growth spurt you will see his ribs again.

[Hoppinggreen]

My 7 year old son weighs the same as his 11 year old sister and there isn't an ounce of fat on him - he is solid muscle.
He wears age 9-10 clothes and is very tall with size 4 feet and will never get in a pair of skinnny jeans ( thank God) . I never weigh him as I can see he is fit and healthy but
If you know your son has a healthy diet and gets exercise and is fine as, confirmed by your GP, then don't worry about it.

[TheHubblesWindscreenWipers]

His diet looks fine. If your GP isn't worried then you shouldn't be. Even at that age they are all just very different shapes and builds. My ds looks like a little waif next to all the healthy strapping toddlers and I worry about that too... but he's ok.
Just keep encouraging healthy food and plenty of activity and do t get hung up on the odd snack or treat - everything in moderation. Lots of kids are chunky. Both me and my brother were then we suddenly grew and we're super skinny .

I say this kindly but it's possible you're projecting your own food issues onto your child - please be really careful

[LemonBreeland]

You've already had some good advice, but you are worries about him being weighed in reception. You know you don't have to agree to him being weighed if you don't want to?

[PeppaAteMySoul]

And for those who have commented on lack of protein he has a vegetarian diet. Does eat dairy, pulses and beans, nuts, tofu, quote products so thought that would be okay?

[PeppaAteMySoul]

I have always eaten tiny portions. I never really get hungry. My parents used to force me to eat all of my food which just made me stressed/ anxious. I know I need to relax so my son doesn't pick up on anything from me. Thank you everyone. Also because I'm so tiny (around 5 foot and very slim) maybe that colours my view of normal. Will ignore other parents.

[ijustwannadance]

MrsKoala, I think most people who comment either have no clue about children or live in a bubble were their own child is the ideal. (in their opinion!)

I perfected the fake smile and nod. Only pissed me off when people said things direct to DD. When she was younger some busybody in a supermarket asked her why she wasn't in school. She gave the face and told them it was because she was 3 and too young to go to school.

Worked out well when we went to a theme park though, she was made up to be tall enough for the bigger rides!

[Saltedcaramel2016]

His diet looks fine. Please don't cut anything out as he does a lot of exercise and he would be too tired to do it if you did. Believe the doctor and ignore the charts.

Just looked in son's red book - at 3.5 years he was 104cm tall and 18kg - so shorter than your son but the same weight. He was always a bit chunky but nothing outrageous, just nice chubby cheeks and slightly rounded which is normal for that age. He is 12 now and really tall and athletic, he has no fat on him at all and is really healthy.

[GoodGirlGoneWrong]

My dc1 who is 4 is 124cm tall and weighs 26.5kg, has been classed as over weight, previously by a busy body health visitor. The 26.5kg has only gone up by 0.5kg in 6 months but height has gone up 3cm roughly. Dc had evened out well, puppy fat has gone and you can now see ribs etc. All of us are active has a family (I'm on slimming world as a bout of steroids has seen me gain a massive amount of weight) we walk the dogs 2/3 miles, bike rides, swimming lessons and dance lessons.

My advice is to stop worrying, if your gp has said everything is ok don't panic, when I saw the doctor I was told to keep the weight roughly the same and review in 6 months hey presto it's all evened although very tall for age (DH is just under 6 foot I'm 5,10 and both her grandads are/were over 6'5)

Your not going wrong! Every child is different my dc2 is tiny for age 2 nearly 3 weights below average and is not even 100 cm tall yet, nothing wrong just smaller!

[Helpisathand13]

If he is happy and healthy, good diet and regular exercise no problem. We aren't all built the same and one size defo does not fit all. Enjoy your precious time with him doing fun happy things and creating lovely memories and experiences together as a family. Try not to be sensitive about his weight and brush off the negative comments of others. X

[Maursh]

What does he have to drink? Cut out all fruit juice which is now thought to be responsible for wide-spread obesity in children in the US. Fruit is fine, since it contains fibre which counteracts the fruit sugars.

[Lazyafternoon]

Peppa just ignore what everyone says when commenting in passing, it's usually complete twoddle. They've no clue. But more importantly it doesn't matter.

[Itmustbemyage]

I had opposite problem with my youngest DS, extremely tall and thin very sporty though I can't remember the percentiles but basically top for height but just under average for weight. Took him to a nutritionist, was told to give him calorie rich food it made no difference he still stayed like a stick.
I was extremely thin as a child wish that was my problem now whereas my DH was on the chunky side fine now everyone develops at a different rate.
My DS is gradually filling out now (late teens). Please don't let your own issues affect your children, believe the Dr when he says everything is fine.
Ignore other parents.

[LadyMoth]

(I'm also borderline overweight according to BMI, so I've always worried about that. But when I took my very skinny DS for a DCD assessment the doc said his tall and slim build was obviously genetic (looking at me) and not a worry! So a Dr thinks I'm tall and slim to look at, but BMI says I'm not. It's really confusing. I'm large-framed and muscular so that's probably where the weight comes from. I was also a chunky child until about 12.)

[MillionToOneChances]

I'd be comcerned about nutrition because it doesn't sound like he gets much protein, but the quantities look ok. My DS was a proper chunky monkey through reception and turned into a beanpole when he was 6. Trust your GP.

[LadyMoth]

The trouble with this BMI obsession and panic over childhood obesity is, while it is an issue, it can ignore that some children are just of a chunkier build and still perfectly healthy. It's a very blunt instrument. If GP says he's fine, I'd go with that.

Can't believe that people make comments like that, have they no clue that they could make him self-conscious about weight?