To ask you what I should do with my grey hair.

[midlifehope]

I'm 39 and I guess pretty prematurely grey all over. I had dyed it for years - and took the chance, whilst expecting ds 2 to grow out the dye (cos I didn't fancy chemicals whilst pregnant and breastfeeding) and have gone 'au naturale'. I'm now grey all over with a short asymmetric cut. I have brown eyes, paleish skin - though pretty tanned in summer. I have dark eyebrows. The lack of faff is a revelation. However, I have noticed lately that people treat me a little differently - either I am invisible, or people keep their distance - I'm guessing it may be my hair making me look a little severe (or it could be something else that may or may not be my appearance).

Anyway AIBU to ask you what to do about this. I don't want a block colour again, as frankly, hair dyes make me feel a little ill anyway (I'm sensitive to chemicals). Highlights with blond tones look too salt and peppery IMHO as I have really dark eyebrows (I had jet black hair as a kid).

Please help me decide what (if anything) to do to get a better reaction from people - I'm still only young!

I went significantly grey in my very late teens /early twenties and was steel grey by thirty. I'm now mainly white, colour simply doesn't 'take' so I don't bother. I have waist length hair. I find lilac toning shampoos very drying so will try the Lush option.

Haven't rtft but I met a woman recently who's late 30s, was dark, now practically white haired but with dark eyebrows, sallow skin. She has lavender coloured hair and it looks amazing. She says the lack of maintenance is such a liberation. I think she uses one of those "old dear" shampoos. I'd say that with lipstick she would look really striking. With your colouring I'd certainly try that approach.

Cheers midlife .

This is a bleached top but the undercut sides are natural, the other one is mostly natural.
I bleached it again in the summer but I'm growing the colour out again.
I think having a proper style helps, either pixie or bob etc. Mines very short atm but I'd like to grow it like Pasadenas which looks fabulous.
I get compliments a lot and I don't think I look old (Im 48).

I have black eyebrows still too and occasionally tone it silver/pink/lilac etc.

Try something like scarves perhaps, a flash of the colours that now suit you best near your face might zip up your look (and be a transition between floaty youth and more structured maturity too maybe?)

Pasadena! Your hair is amazing. I have a similar bob and think my grey would be similar - my natural colour was dark and I have quite a bit of grey. I'm 36. I'm so tempted, but the growing out of the colour bit puts me off. I hate having 'roots'

Coco - the natural is lovely.

RawPrawn has summed up my thoughts better than I could have done myself.

I'm nearly 30 and I have a few greys. I don't especially like them but I hate colouring my hair with a passion. I hate the whole process, I hate the smell, I hate that to keep on top of it I would need to do it at least every 6 weeks. Why spend money, time and effort on something I fucking hate just because society says I'll look shit if I don't? Fuck that!

I gave up dying 2-3 years ago but I'm still fair haired with a bit of grey, can't wait for it all to go grey! Ladies who have posted photos - all amazing.
Mary Beard is one of my heros. I know her long, straggly style isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I love her grey. She did a programme on Radio 4 a while ago about going grey, including men, which was really interesting. She has had horrific online abuse, often centred around her grey hair. She couldn't give a shit!

Anyone with curly hair? Your gorgeous photos are all of straight hair... I would love to grow out my grey but get scared by the wiriness of them - any tips that don't involve 3 hours a day using a hairstraightening iron on a headful of pubes?

I would stay grey if it's all over or add colours either highlights or purple/blue/pink. If it's fully grey then blending looks better.

Lush henna is good but I would say for partial grey unless you like very red hair. I am similar age and have quite a bit of grey and use lush henna and it just hides the greys and makes shiney. Needs doing every 4 to 6 weeks.

I hate the way society let's men go grey but not women. If more embraced it it would be easier. Some look really good but we are conditioned to associate it with old.

I hate society making women feel their looks are their main worth. I know some women don't feel that way but I did most of my life. It sucks.

Wow pasadena your hair is stunning!! Did you grow out gradually?

I have curly hair that is going grey. I stopped dying it about a year (ish) ago. Going to work now but will try and post a pic tonight, if people want to see.

Thanks Wrinkly
If anyone is on FB there are a couple of American pages for going grey so loads of photos and inspiration.

LadyCallandraDaviot, yes please would love a pic

I've had to stop dying mine due to allergies. I was horrified at first but now ether like and god it's just so much easier. I'm not totally grey yet but heading that way.

Coco that looks great - you look really sporty and fit which I think helps grey look good

Coco what are the name of the american facebook pages? I can't seem to find any good ones.

I really want to embrace the gray but I've no idea how much there is. I'm 35 and I've been dying my hair dark since I was 16. My roots come through some gray and some mousy. I'm not afraid of a short haircut but I've put on weight in my face and I don't think I can pull it off anymore.

If I knew it was all the way gray I'd go for it and put a purple rinse through it as above. I think it looks fab.

Going Gorgeously Gray, Gray and Proud and Im sure theres another one but I can't find it. GGG is good.

I have a friend who has been naturally all grey haired from her mid 30s, when I first met her, and she looks beautiful. Another friend gave up on dyeing recently, in her early 50s, and wonders why she didn't do it sooner - gorgeous head of iron grey hair. Both women look lovely; I think they have pretty faces but also they dress stylishly and have good haircuts - something that makes a difference to all of us I think.

uk.pinterest.com/pin/352266002085554514/

this isn't me - just from pinterest, but my hair is like this - slightly less grey, just dulll brown with grey bits!!

I stopped dyeing my hair when I turned 41 - am now 48 and very grey indeed. My hair is dark underneath and nature has been kind enough to live me streaks that look beautifully artificial, with some lovely stark white bits too. I lost a lot of weight recently so am now rocking a pixie crop to show off the new cheekbones. I love my hair. We should all stop being afraid and accept that we all grow older and then enjoy doing it disgracefully.

Well thank you ladies you have given me masses of confidence - I'm not going to cave in a dye it - now I know there are lots of 'us' out there :)
Thanks for your fab ideas - love those pinterest pics.