To fucking HATE Christmas?!

[BasinHaircut]

It's only October and it's already a massive ball ache.

I'm not religious in any way and so in that sense it has little meaning to me.

It's such a palaver, expensive, too much fuss, all just utter bollocks.

My 3yo will be great fun this year as he understands santa etc, so I was looking forward to it in that respect, but it appears that I may be expected to accommodate wider family members who are terrible guests, when I was hoping it could just be me, DH and DS this year. Last year I did 4 days of entertaining on the trot and no fucker invited me anywhere.

Is there a hole I can hide in between now and Jan 2nd??

So sorry, Shatners, that does suck. :(

Basin - I get that you don't want your parents to spend Christmas on your own, but you're basically being their doormat because of that guilt.
Your last Christmas sucked because of them; so tell them you're not having them this year, sorry!
It's then up to them to either coerce one of your siblings into having them, or doing the other thing.
They are Not Your Problem! (I'd think a bit differently if you only had one parent, on their own but in this case, no!)

Please just tell them now. And then batten down the hatches and say that you're not arguing about it, that's how it's going to be this year.

Bugger - I meant " I get that you don't want your parents to spend Christmas on THEIR own" - sorry

after a couple of disastrous christmas's with DH's family, we firmly asserted that we were having a "family" xmas and that the front door would be locked and bolted from 5pm xmas eve to sometime around the 27th Dec...everyone just accepted it, they may have grumbled in private...but i dont care. our family, our celebration, the way we want it and not a mince pie or christmas pud in sight :-)

I'm sorry to hear that expat

Christmas can be fun if you keep control OP.

I wouldn't entertain for days on the trot.

I adore christmas, and I have spend some christmas days alone, my father dies two weeks before christmas one year, another year my husband died three days before christmas- so I do understand the pain.

It doesn't stop me seeing christmas as a festival of life though.

Shatners, perhaps you could volunteer for Crisis At Christmas during the festive period? That way you would not be alone and you would be doing something very worthwhile

Shatners, have you ever considered going away for Christmas? I have, preferably to a non-Christian country where there's no big thing about Christmas. If I ever won the lottery, I'd organise a huge trip for bereaved people, to like, Thailand, over Xmas to just get away from it all.

You don't have to do anything. Tell people you are having Xmas just the three of you and sod em.

My parents and I get on but we're not overly close and they will just spend the day watching TV in silence so I may as well go home

just musing at whether I would ever be able to sit in silence myself.

Op you have to be creative and make it work for you and YES when you have small DC who finally get it - you do get bound up in the excitement of it all Growing up I was the youngest by a long way - I was the child of the family so they wante to be round me - and feed off my excitement but for me, and as I got older there were no dc in the family.

So I have had lots of ups and downs and many MEH xmasses.

I have learned its what you make it - when DD was small up to about 4 I sourced free/ car boot gifts for her and had very frugal xmas but with lots of gifts and nice food.

We are not religious either but I very much enjoy the story of the nativity, I adore all the lights at xmas when its the darkest point of the year. Make it what you want - tricker on the GP front I agree but even then you can try and make it work for you somehow.

to all who suffer at xmas.

If I ever won the lottery, I'd organise a huge trip for bereaved people, to like, Thailand, over Xmas to just get away from it all.

^^ lovely idea xpat or - hire out lovely mansion someh were in UK to celebrate not celebrating xmas

Yep, I don't see my family, all too far away. And I will be expected to cook for 11 of DH's, including his grown up kids who will argue to the end of the earth before helping.

I've said I'll help but I'm not doing it all this year - it's down to him. He looked miffed.

I've said I'll help but I'm not doing it all this year - it's down to him. He looked miffed.

Poor baby.

The entitledness of the men I read about on MN never ceases to amaze me. I can't imagine my DP acting like this in a million years.

I think it's time my sibling did their share and didn't expect me or other sibling to pick up the slack.

^^ then ask them too. its not fair if your dp do end up at yours make it work - set them to work - manage their expectations

" am so looking forward to xmas this year dear parents however I must warn you DS is quite a handful now, not like last year and I have to be very hands on with him, do you think you could help me out with him, so i can get on with things and also chip in with some games for him etc. he is very mch more aware of xmas this year so it will be a child centered xmas,

I love Christmas but hate the expectation the whole family must be accommodated in some way.

DH's family are particularly hard work to host. FIL hates Christmas as takes every opportunity to huff and puff about the ridiculousness of it all, both he and SIL do not lift a finger when visiting us and are quite needlessly untidy (where DH gets it from!). MIL literally has to be the centre of attention at all times - it's exhausting.

My family love a good Christmas and are good guests and hosts but there is usually some underlying tension between DM & Step father; DB & his wife are passively competitive; and there are always super high expectations to live up to (ie planning the day to perfection from November 6th onwards).

So I'm totally with you. A day with DH & DD with a nice dinner, PJs and rubbishy films on TV would be marvellous!

Ooh I love Christmas! We don't host anyone, just us for lunch and then visit the in laws for tea and my parents on Boxing Day.

My parents love being on their own on the day! They have brunch, go to church, go for a walk and have dinner about 4pm - just as they please, no accommodating anyone else!

This year we also have baby DD who as our 3rd child completes our family - can't wait!

I do sweet FA for it. Work all of Christmas and new year anyway due to the way the rota falls. Christmas Day meal will be a McDonald's mid shift
I don't decorate or anything either. All non Christmas people welcome to my home

OP, decide what you want to do, and then make sure everyone knows you will not be hosting. Especially the people you've hosted and who have never entertained you, then they have no excuse not to sort themselves out because they've had plenty of warning.

I find it baffling to read all the posts about people complaining they need to see their family at Christmas, I long to have family to see at Christmas, apart from dh and the dc's I have no one.

In my mind I imagine its all like in the Morrisons adverts., all extended families having a jolly old time together, but judging form loads of the threads here often its nothing like that

I can still wish though....

Last time we hosted Christmas we had 14 people over. They offered to help, prep veg, cook, etc etc. Did they help? Did they fuck. They were in the living room getting pissed.

I cooked dinner on my own, DH did the mash, he managed to burn it.

Are we hosting Christmas again? Are we fuck.

This year we either stay home and have Christmas just the three of us OR we go to the in-laws/BIL who will cook. This was actually a topic of conversation on Saturday, got the feeling SIL doesn't want to host so who knows.

PaulIn I think I want to avoid anything Christmassy this year. And as I work for a charity anyway, it would be a bit like not having a break from work at all and after this summer's events I do need one. That sounds a bit selfish. I like Expat's idea except I hate flying and won't get on a plane unless I'm with someone and it would need to be somewhere with plenty to do as I'm not a beach dweller and I'd need to keep my mind off "another single fucking Xmas".

OP I would definitely be putting my foot down in your shoes about just having a quiet a Xmas as much as possible.

I like Christmas but it makes me sad as we've no extended family at all between me and DH. :(

It's only October so let your siblings know now that you'll be going away this year for Christmas so they'll have to have them this year ;)

Go on holiday for the week or few days of Christmas.

We go to center Parcs every Christmas, just the four of us and have a fab time. We don't cook, we eat out and have nice ready meal Waitrose stuff for Xmas day tea.

I'm not saying go to center Parcs but you could go anywhere and then you definitely won't be able to host anybody

When my kids are grown up I vow now to never put this shit on them. to all who need.

'And I will be expected to cook for 11 of DH's, including his grown up kids who will argue to the end of the earth before helping.

I've said I'll help but I'm not doing it all this year - it's down to him. He looked miffed.'

Honestly, fuck that. I wouldn't even help. I would do NOTHING, not even prompt him to go shopping. He doesn't do it, he can get a takeaway for everyone on the day. Honestly stop enabling this type of entitled twatness.

Shatner, I'd look at using the train/ferries/ships to get out of here.