To fucking HATE Christmas?!

[BasinHaircut]

It's only October and it's already a massive ball ache.

I'm not religious in any way and so in that sense it has little meaning to me.

It's such a palaver, expensive, too much fuss, all just utter bollocks.

My 3yo will be great fun this year as he understands santa etc, so I was looking forward to it in that respect, but it appears that I may be expected to accommodate wider family members who are terrible guests, when I was hoping it could just be me, DH and DS this year. Last year I did 4 days of entertaining on the trot and no fucker invited me anywhere.

Is there a hole I can hide in between now and Jan 2nd??

[Jinglebellsandv0dka]

Can't wait for it over here!! 🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻

[Topseyt]

We stopped travelling and hosting over Christmas when our children were small and we have never re-started it now that they are older.

It still isn't my favourite time of year as it is just such an expensive palaver for just one day, but it is a vast improvement on what I see many people describe on here.

[BasinHaircut]

margot I mean my parents. I have 2 siblings and one of them doesn't ever factor their side of the family in, it's all about their spouse's family first. Which I don't mind for the most part, but my parents are terrible guests. I had them last year and they did. Not. Move. For 12 hours. Expecting to be waited on and practically ignoring DS. He didn't understand last year but I don't want him to have to suffer this year whilst I wait on my parents. We want to just make it about him and make sure he has a lovely day. I think it's time my sibling did their share and didn't expect me or other sibling to pick up the slack. Said sibling doesn't have children yet so IMO it's easier for them. They could even just take parents out for dinner etc, not have to have them clogging up the place all day whilst kids are trying to play and desperate for attention.

That's the real issue here, just compounded by the fact I have zero interest in Xmas myself.

[Error404usernamenotfound]

A friend of mine orders a takeaway on Xmas eve, puts it in the fridge then reheats for Xmas lunch, as she can't face doing a massive roast as well as sorting the kids out with presents, etc. I think she's a genius...

If you want to spend the day just with your DH and DS, then do so. Xmas becomes a massive ball ache when you try to accommodate everyone else's demands and expectations without taking into account what you are happy with.

[pregnantat50]

saw this and thought of you x

[Laiste]

So have you asked your siblings to have your parents this year? There's 3 of you - therefore you needn't be doing the hosting of parents more than once every 3 years.

[CancellyMcChequeface]

YANBU. I dread it every year. Awkwardness with estranged relatives (I'm NC with them, others in my household aren't and insist on inviting them over every Christmas.) No under-16s involved, so there's not the excuse of making it a nice day for the kids.

I like cooking, I like getting people presents, but I hate the day itself and the fact that the build-up lasts months. One day I will give in to the temptation to book myself a hotel stay alone instead.

[SapphireStrange]

brother arrives from USA with new girlfriend- will expect the full treatment
day after is the only day left to do DHs family which will involve them coming to ours
I wont even get a day of doing chuff all

Christmas threads always baffle me, and this kind of thing most of all. Seriously, what if people do 'expect' 'the full treatment'? It's YOUR house and it's YOUR Christmas too – you are within your rights to tell them what to expect and/or to muck in and help.

When DH's family come, do you host? Or does he? If he doesn't, why not?

[BabyGanoush]

I take all kinds of short cuts.

Frozen roasties (there was once a MASSIVE row on MN about how unacceptable this is), a boned rolled turkey that just needs to sit in the oven for 2-3 hours, some pre-chopped veg for boiling.

Lots of drink and easy snacks (smoked salmon, crisps, pigs in blankets bought ready made)

For breakfast a Lidl Stollen

Presents for the kids, the adults get a book or gloves

It doesn't have to be all-out

[SatansLittleHelper2]

Oh Shatners

I'm no fan of Christmas, half my family are dead, the other half aren't speaking or can't be in a room together for long so it's always just me, dp and the.kids. I find it very lonely tbh. Bit your comment really has.given me a dose of perspective. Christmas is what you make it I s'pose.

[BasinHaircut]

Thing is, I wouldn't mind hosting if I thought it would be fun! We have a 'festive' day with friends and it's great. That's my Xmas day TBH. The actual day is forced and bland though.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

DP and I have our Christmas a few days early, and then one goes to their family and the other stays at home with the pets. This year I get to stay here and I'm looking forward to it, as sad as it sounds.

Something's got my goat this year, though. For the last few years that DP has stayed here an elderly friend of his had invited him round for Christmas dinner and he's moaned about going. He skipped it one year, but sprang the invite on him in January, when he was unprepared, so he said yes then moaned about it all year. He wanted a quiet day at home and, whilst happy to go see her for a drink, didn't want to be there for long.

With this in mind I was slightly taken aback when he suggested I invited another of his friends round for Christmas dinner. He finds the idea of going elsewhere to do nothing but eat too much, yet seems to think it's reasonable that I'd cook, and clear up, for a friend of his. It's not happening.

[TheWitTank]

I'm with you Sapphire -they baffle me too! Can people not just say 'no, that doesn't work for me' or 'no, I'm not doing that this year'. Don't be a martyr -do what YOU want. Don't cater for eleventy-million family members. Don't spend hundreds on all and sundry. Tell people now, months in advance, what you are doing. Book a restaurant if you want to meet up without the hassle of cooking and paying for everyone at your house. Or just wait for someone else to offer to host. Seriously, enjoy it your way.

[Liiinoo]

YABU if you let other people decide what your Christmas will be like, how much money you will spend etc. Work out what you want to do (pjs, pizza, no tree, no presents for adults,whatever) and then let people know what you have decided.

You are a proper grown up with a DS. You are your own boss. Don't let commercialism and family expectations dictate your behaviour.

[Aworldofmyown]

Grow some balls and tell them you are having christmas to yourselves this year and they are welcome to come over Boxing Day, then you can put on cold meat and cheese relatively easily without to much effort

Do It!!!!

[expatinscotland]

I hate it since my DD1 died. I do the minimum for DD2 and DS. But it could honestly fuck off for all I care. It's the tenner meal from Co-Op and a bottle of fizz, gifts for the kids and that's it. Kids go to bed and I usually just get drunk until I pretty much pass out. It's just another signal of another fucking year she's been dead and believe me, life's got worse and worse since then.

[ShatnersWig]

Basin and Satan Thanks. I didn't mean to semi-hijack the thread was sort of trying to show empathy with it being totally all right to hate Christmas, no matter what the reason. Too many people in RL and MN can think you're an alien for not liking Christmas.

Adding insult to injury, just today heard a school friend has been diagnosed with cervical cancer, treatable not curable, and is starting six months of chemo. This year can quite frankly do one.

[Liiinoo]

Shatners. No words.

[TheWitTank]

Explainscotland x

[converseandjeans]

YANBU it's hard work as a Mum. It's not just Christmas Day tbh. It's the build up - remembering to take so and so into school for some event, wrapping up a £5 gift for the brownies party, random mufti days. Also just going about your daily business is a palaver - banks shut, supermarkets stocked with Christmas stuff for about 6 weeks solid, traffic jams just to get to the shops. Loads of money spent on works do with a load of people you'd never normally associate with. And so on. Bah humbug!

[midsomermurderess]

I can take it or leave the festival but I get a good long break from Christmas Eve to the start of the year so I'm not complaining.

[BasinHaircut]

expat

Puts it in perspective.

[diddl]

Can't your parents have Christmas just the two of them if no one else steps up?

Seems to me others make sure that they get the Christmas that they want-why don't you too?

[herethereandeverywhere]

no YANBU I hate it too.

All the bloody extra work that's needed for school and cards and presents and what to buy and wrapping and visiting relatives and them visiting us. I do the whole fucking lot and it is bloody joyless and has only got worse since kids added an emotional obligation to do the whole things. And after I've sorted out that whole massive knackering list do you know what, all the relatives then expect me to think of things they can buy for my kids too.

I'm an atheist. I just buy stuff when I need it, ditto for the kids. I hate the whole tinsel-covered additional hours of work disguised as merriment.