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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to give my son second hand toys for his birthday/xmas?

55 replies

luckylucky24 · 10/10/2016 20:46

Seen an amazing deal for some used toys and want to buy them for DS, It is his birthday this weekend so could give them as a present but DH says it is wrong.
He can have them either way but it seems logical to me. We have bought him some presents already. Brand new.

OP posts:

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 10/10/2016 21:22

I got most of DS's stuff from eBay last year - his birthday is a week before Christmas so it's a bit of a financial nightmare. Lots of lovely stuff from ELC, Lego bits and bobs and Thomas things. All in fab condition, too. Will definitely be doing the same this year!

LAmusic · 10/10/2016 21:24

It's a new toy to him! Go for it!

Alanna1 · 10/10/2016 21:30

Of course you can - some things I pretty much always buy second hand (like children's bikes). I buy children's books and lego both new and second-hand and some games. And I've bought some truly lovely clothes in nearly new sales. Some things aren't worth buying second hand though - it all depends!

Ginseng1 · 10/10/2016 21:40

We've bought 2nd hand stuff for ours for bdays n Christmas. Star Wars stuff etc am big into recycling & kids delighted

Haudyerwheesht · 10/10/2016 21:41

I wouldn't give someone else's kids second hand but I would and have given my kids second hand several times.

MrsMook · 10/10/2016 21:42

When DS was 4, he desperately wanted a Take and Play Dieselworks as seen on a Thomas video that had been released a few years earlier. The set had been discontinued, so I bought it off eBay preloved. He was thrilled.

He'd been asking for months and months!

Evilstepmum01 · 10/10/2016 21:48

Hell yes! Its how we survive christmas! last year, I bought DSD loads of 2cnd hand 1D stuff-she still likes them-including a brand new duvet set! chuffed much!
Because of my work, when DS was bought, we looked at all our baby stuff and realised we hadnt bought the wee soul anything brand new except for his clothes!!
Pre-loved stuff is great, and we also re-gift unwanted/untouched gifts! Handy for kids friends birthdays!!

Why yes, I am cheap! typical tight jock I'm afraid! I get very excited at the prospect of 2cnd hand christmas shopping-the kids dont care! :)

user1468970684 · 10/10/2016 21:49

Genuinely so shocked at the amount of people that would give their child second hand toys as a PRESENT

Evilstepmum01 · 10/10/2016 21:50

feckin autocorrect! I meant when DS was born, not bought!!

Original poster

luckylucky24 · 10/10/2016 21:51

Thanks everyone. DH isn't bothered about second hand toys just gnhinks it weird to give for a birthday. I disagree so he will have them!

OP posts:

Evilstepmum01 · 10/10/2016 21:51

in that case user1468....heres a shocker for you! At least half our kids clothes are bought second hand also!! :)

Happy kids with plenty lovely toys and clothes!!

Haggisfish · 10/10/2016 21:52

Why on earth would you not?! You can get two or three times the number of toys for the same money! I am equally shocked at people who are daft enough to buy brand new toys userwhatever.....!

Starlight2345 · 10/10/2016 21:53

My Did when he was younger...Now older he tends to want specific things.

SloanePeterson · 10/10/2016 21:54

I'm genuinely shocked how many people don't even bother to register a username but hey ho. Absolutely nothing wrong with second hand gifts, we've done it for all three of our dc and probably always will. Noone's going to give broken, stained or shitty things to their dc. With most things, the only thing to hint that they're not brand new is the lack of packaging, and there's nothing wrong with that.

BowieFan · 10/10/2016 21:57

Nope, we've done it a couple of times and haven't felt guilty about it. About 5 years ago there was an amazing deal on a specific brand of bike DS1 wanted, it was at least a 50% saving and it was in excellent condition. DS1 was none the wiser but we told him last year and he said "I'm not really bothered, it's the thought that counts, isn't it? You took the time to actually get me what I wanted, doesn't matter if it's new or not!"

DS2 has asked for some vinyls this year so they'll be used, obviously. I don't think most kids are bothered, really.

blueturtle6 · 10/10/2016 22:01

Yanbu, if only because it saves you several hours of getting those awful plastic ties off.

Enidblyton1 · 10/10/2016 22:08

Yes, of course it's fine! I've done this a few times (for a child under 5 who wouldn't know if something was new or old) and she has had amazing presents that I would otherwise have not been able to afford. All in great condition - you would never know they were second hand.

BowieFan · 10/10/2016 22:08

Also, a couple of years ago, DS2 was way behind the curve in liking a specific TV show (it might have been Ben 10, I can't remember) and that Christmas he wanted all the toys and stuff. Did I go out and buy them all brand new? Did I bloody hell. I knew for a fact a lot of people were trying to get rid of theirs because their kids had moved onto the next fad, so I was able to get DS2 way more than he'd even asked for, which he loved. I didn't feel guilty at all, DS2 loved them and it meant they didn't just go straight into a skip. Plus, no doubt the money I paid helped other families get their DCs what they wanted.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 10/10/2016 22:10

user. Why the sceptical face? We're talking about second hand toys, not the existence of Father Christmas (who is real, btw, and a huge fan of recycling)

BackforGood · 10/10/2016 22:20

Of course YANBU.
If it bothers dh not spending so much on him, then he could put some money into saving for him, to make up the difference. This will very much impress him when he gets to about 17 and is wanting driving lessons.

SpringerS · 10/10/2016 22:32

Almost all DS' of birthday and Christmas toys have been secondhand. Last year he asked for a Batcave and for the price of the Batcave he wanted, I got him a perfect Batcave, a Fortress of Solitude (Superman's hideout), a Spider-man house, a Spider-man Hot Wheels set plus loads of extra figures like Ice-man, Firestar, Spider-woman, Wonder Woman etc. Obviously he was gutted to wake up to all of that on Christmas morning instead of a brand new Batcave incased in cardboard that would have gone in the recycling bin.

It's his birthday next month and I've gotten him a rocket he loves. But I got it in a secondhand bundle cheaper than the original price of just the rocket, but it has come with loads and loads of extra aliens, vehicles, astronauts, etc. And with the money I saved, I bought toy Teen Titan figures for the Teen Titan Tower birthday cake he's asked for (he can have them as toys after the party). Somehow I think he'll be happy I didn't buy new.

I've also told him that Santa (who lives on the North Pole afterall) is a big environmentalist. So he has an elf department that specialises in revitalising toys that other girls and boys have finished playing with. And children who let him know they are happy with toys from this department might get some extra surprises.

ALLthedinosaurs · 10/10/2016 22:36

YANBU. Most of DS toys are second hand. Why not? You can get lovely next to new things on ebay for a fraction of the price. And even well loved stuff. He just loves it a bit more. After he's grown out of it we'll donate to charity shops or A&E. Hate to think of lovely toys in the landfill.

DS loves his second hand presents. One train in a pain-in-the-arse plastic package that takes 11 years to extract and involves scissor and sharp plastic injuries vs. a whole box of trains that he can open up, tip out and play with immediately. I love the look on his little face

roasted · 10/10/2016 22:40

How old is he?

Second-hand means nothing at a very young age. As they get older, depending on what kind of friends they keep, they do start to notice. I'd say completely fine with a very young child (assuming of course no broken parts) but I'd think twice with an older, brand-aware kid. Might still buy it anyway, but I'd think about it more.

Scholes34 · 10/10/2016 22:57

No expensive antiques for anyone this Christmas then, user.

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 10/10/2016 23:03

Genuinely so shocked at the amount of people that would give their child second hand toys as a PRESENT [shock[

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