Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to expect ds1's school to inform me when he has been beaten up

45 replies

Pebblemum · 07/02/2007 22:52

Today, on my way to pick ds2 up from pre-school, I had a phone call from my neighbour informing me that my 9yr old ds1 had been beaten up on the way out of school and was waiting in the school office for me to pick him up. When i got to the school and was about to go get him i had another phone call from my neighbour telling me that the head teacher had just walked ds1 home and had left him with her with instructions to keep an eye on him as he had been hit behind his ear and may suffer dizziness or blurred vision as a result.
I was fuming by this point. The school should have phoned me as soon as the incident had happened, i always have my mobile with me and they know that so there is no excuse but to then walk him home and leave him next door If they had phoned first they would have known i was on my way to the school to pick ds2 up anyway. The fact that I had to find out what was going on from my neighbour has left me so angry with the school. What if my neighbour had been out, i was expecting ds1 to meet me outside the pre-school as usual but he wouldnt have been there and i would have been none the wiser.
Im also annoyed with the school as they know ds1 has been bullied for some time and yet they've done nothing. He has been to A&E 3 times within the past year with head injuries as a result of the bullying.
Surely expecting your children to be safe at school and well looked after isnt being unreasonable
Another thing i cant understand is that normally the school phone me if ds1 so much as falls over at school (which is stupid half the time) yet when he is beaten up they dont bother. I know it happened after classes had finished but it was still on school grounds and he was taken to the office by a parent who witnessed it so why didnt they think it important to phone me on this occassion

OP posts:

colditz · 07/02/2007 22:54

call the police, and get them involve4d. Your son has been assaulted, and the school are behaving appallingly.

Aloha · 07/02/2007 23:00

YOu need to get that boy out of the school right now!

mummytosteven · 07/02/2007 23:02

. That's dreadful pebblemum, agree with both colditz and aloha.

Freckle · 07/02/2007 23:02

Contact the police. And write a letter to the board of governors complaining about the bullying and also about the school's handling of it, particularly this incident.

That's appalling treatment of your son. You could threaten to withdraw him from school, stating that you will inform the LEA of your reasons.

nearlythree · 07/02/2007 23:03

Agree, police and withdraw your boy. Get legal advice and sue the parents. Contact kidscape - do a google for their web page - they have a great help line.

wotzsaname · 07/02/2007 23:05

Pebblemum so sorry for you, dont know what to suggest for the best.

Chandra · 07/02/2007 23:05

Another vote for Aloha's suggestion here.

Sorry to hear he is going through that, 3 times in A&E with head injuries is far too much for the bullying being not taken seriously. I would be tempted to call to the police (or any child protection agency if they may be of help)

Carmenere · 07/02/2007 23:05

Pebblemum if my child ended up in A&E once because of bullying the police would know all about it. I would be furious iiwy.

NurseyJo · 07/02/2007 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Pebblemum · 07/02/2007 23:12

The police were involved last year when the same boy smashed ds1's head into a brick wall but because he is under 10yrs old they cant press charges all they did was tell him off which obviously hasnt worked. His dad is just as bad after that incident he went and gave his son £5 for doing it

The school had promised both myself and the police it would be dealt with but all they did that time was ban the boy from going out during breaks for a week but ds1 was off school for that week recovering so when he returned the boys punishment was over anyway. In January ds1 had his head smashed on the playground floor but didnt see who did it, the school were supposed to be looking into it but we still dont know who it was and now he has been beaten up again

To make matters worse ds1 has started having seizures, he was fine until he had his head smashed against the wall, I doubt if its linked but im sure all this doesnt help.

I would love for him to change schools but they are all full around here and have waiting lists too. I would home school but with a boisterous 3yr old and a baby on the way id be worried that he wouldnt get enough peace to study. I would hate for his education to suffer

OP posts:

Aloha · 07/02/2007 23:16

I'm sorry, but if my son was being repeatedly beaten around the head so much that he was in A&E and started having seizures, there is no way until hell froze over that he would go back to that school. Would you go to a workplace where you were repeatedly beaten up? Threaten to sue the LEA and see how fast he gets another place. Schools aren't permanently full anyway. People move. I am really sorry you have this worry and I am very sorry for your son, but how can you keep sending him back to this hell hole?

Aloha · 07/02/2007 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

edam · 07/02/2007 23:18

I'm sure it isn't that easy, but I think I'd be on the case of the LEA. WTF are they doing allowing their schools to get away with this? The LEA MUST provide a place at another school for your boy if that is what you want. AND come down on the head and the governors like a ton of bricks. He's been the victim of three criminal assaults, FFS! And I would call the police to ensure this is documented as an assault, even if the perpetrator is under age. If his parents are that crap, social services should be involved, frankly.

The dept for education and skills orders LEAs and schools to stamp out bullying. Worth checking out their website. Because this school certainly isn't living up to the promises ministers make.

If you have any energy left, suggest contacting your MP - officials tend to jump higher when an MP makes an enquiry than when it's merely the person they are supposed to serve in the first place.

persephonesnape · 07/02/2007 23:25

report it to the police. get a crime number. take that and anything that you have regarding your sons hospitalisation and go to the LEA office with your son. stay there until they do something. threaten local press.

the other kid is frankly, a little shit. he'll keep on doing it because he won't be punished.

wotzsaname · 07/02/2007 23:27

Agree with Aloha.
Pebblemum, how many times does your poor son have to end up in A&E. How can you keep sending him back to that. What must he think. He needs someone with him at the school gates. I know you cant be in 2 places at once, but somethings got to happen, if you continue to send him to that awful place.

Lizzylou · 07/02/2007 23:29

Pebblemum, please just take your son out of there, what sort of teachers let this kind of abuse happen? Not the sort of teachers who should be in charge of your son.
YOU sound like you are really busy, but he needs to be out of this situation NOW

Original poster

Pebblemum · 07/02/2007 23:29

Amazingly he is still doing well at school despite all the bullying.

Also the bullying seems to stop for a while and so ds1 is happy to stay at the school but then a couple of months later it starts again. I repeatedly ask if he wants to change schools but he usually says he doesnt want to because apart from these few idiots he has friends there and he doesnt see why he should be the one who has to move when he has done nothing wrong. I can see his point but the school is obviously going to do nothing to sort the problem out so I dont think I have any other option but to take him out of there. Why does it always seem to be the innocent ones who have to suffer yet the ones in the wrong get away with it

OP posts:

NurseyJo · 07/02/2007 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Chandra · 08/02/2007 01:07

Peeblemum, I really hope the seizures are unrelated, please don't send him back until they get to do something, he is not safe there. There should be something that could be done, it might not look like in the surface but dig a bit deeper.

plummymummy · 08/02/2007 02:29

Pebblemum, I'm really sorry to hear about what is happenening to your son and agree that the school has been shambolic in it's treatment of the bullying and communication with you. It's a pity that your son is the one who has to leave, when it should be the bullies who are forced out but unfortunately this is a reflection of what happens in life outside of school. Our society does not deal well with bullies and maybe this is because we don't deal with things as a community.

hercules1 · 08/02/2007 07:13

I would honestly not send my child in for one more minute. I really wouldnt. In all seriousness you have a dutyto your son to protect him especially seeing as he is not being protected at school. Children have a right to be safe at school, honestly.
You need to folow the advice on here about police, Lea etc.

OrmIrian · 08/02/2007 10:12

Police and LEA. Also your MP - beleive it or not they can and do care and they can get things done quickly. You don't need to take your child from the school if he's happy there and doing well. You need to get the other child excluded. He obviously has problems (not least his neanderthal father) but that isn't your business.

wotzsaname · 08/02/2007 10:17

Pebblemum how is your son today?

Freckle · 08/02/2007 10:26

I would seriously keep my ds out of school until this matter is addressed properly by the school. Write to the board of governors, copying the LEA, expressing your concerns and the school's failure to protect your son against a known bully - cite the 3 trips to A&E. Contact your MP and local councillor.

Once you take all these measures, the school will have to sit up and actually do something. I think the head's actions in walking your son home not knowing whether you were there or not and leaving him with a neighbour after a head injury were appalling and totally inappropriate.

Do kick up a stink. Your ds deserves it.

ladymariner · 08/02/2007 13:12

Really can't believe what I'm reading here, Pebblemum,so sorry for you and your poor son. I work in a school and I'm sure that how your head behaved in taking your son home and leaving him with a neighbour is actually illegal, the school has a responsibility to ensure the health and wellbeing of all their pupils. As the others have said, kick up and keep kicking up. Do all that has been suggested by writng to the LEA, the governors, the local MP, definately inform the police, and write everything down, to the minutest detail. I could cry for your little boy, he must feel dreadful every single schoolday, not knowing if he's ging to be hurt. I don't want to sound hard here, but you have got to show him you will not allow him to suffer this treatment, by whatever means you can. Thinking of you. X

Flip

1 2