The term 'coloured'

[Ticktock12]

So I'm a new member of a team and one of my colleagues described someone and said 'Oh the coloured lady'. I corrected her obviously stating its offensive.
Aibu or is this a term people still use?

The correct terminology changes so frequently that I have lost track and just don't describe people by the colour of their skin - it's just easier! However I find that this in itself is beings slightly racist as it shouldn't be deemed as offensive to see that a person is black/white whatever! I don't think you can't win really. That being said I think a lot of the 'suddenly deemed racist every other week' (i.e. Black board!) is dreamed up by white middle aged people anyway. I have known loads of people of a different colour to myself who don't actually care as long as what is said is not intended to be offensive anyway!

You describe their soul MrsD

"The man in the red tie" "The woman sitting by the coffee machine"

But no big deal. Use black if necessary. Or white if most of the other people are black. It's part of my very old fashioned manners that you don't refer to physical characteristics if you can help it.

"The correct terminology changes so frequently that I have lost track"

No it doesn't.

I just saw the origins of the word Mulato, how disgusting, but please be tolerant of people from Latin America who use that term, because it is used as a descriptor and not as a term of abuse.

Yeah, I know, Mrs Deve. But you have to remembe that I was brought up by people who were brought up by Victorians!

And who, incidentally, had no difficulty at all avoiding saying anything racially offensive to anyone.

poster MrsDeVere Mon 10-Oct-16 20:08:14
How do you describe someone without using physical features?

white people seem to describe each other fine with out saying you know lucky the white lady who works in accounting

It's very much generational and depending on what part of the world you come from.

I lived in East Africa when I was younger and 'coloured' was used to describe a biracial person. It wasn't deemed derogatory there.

I do find that when I describe someone as black, my white colleague says, "oh you can get away with saying it" (because I'm black).

There's so much fear of being accused or being non PC, people steer away from stating the obvious.

^Of course it is necessary to describe someone.
Why are people so scared of saying that someone is Black or Asian or White?

Its bizarre.
This -
^'Can you take this to Caroline, she works on the first floor. She is black with long hair and in her 30s'
'I hear you have a new boyfriend, what does he look like?'
'Mr Johnson will be visiting later, can you head him off before he gets to reception? He is about 6 foot, white and wears glasses'^

What the HELL is wrong with that?

and this -

There's nothing wrong with using some one's skin colour as a descripter.. or there shouldn't be.

^I look forward to the day when saying 'can you take this to Mr. Jones in accounts you know, the black guy with glasses'
is the same as 'Can you take this to Mr. Jones in accounts, you know, the blonde haired guy with glasses'^

That's when we'll really know we're all equal

I genuinely don't know if its acceptable or not as my DH is Bengali and refers to himself as 'coloured'. He is 40 and has grown up here, but because he is OK with it doesn't mean other black/Asian people will be. Its a minefield really because sometimes things we think are offensive, aren't always if that makes sense.

My DM uses the term, except when I pull her up on it. It used to be acceptable, but now it isn't.

I'm in the US at the moment, where I inwardly cringe when newspapers talk about "Blacks" and "Whites", rather than "black students" and "white students", for example, but it's an accepted descriptor here.

MrsDeVere Mon 10-Oct-16 18:18:45
What is this about not noticing the colour of people's skin? If your children didn't notice if someone was short or tall or male or female you would be concerned about their development.
But not noticing a fundamental part of someone is ok?

Why wouldn't you wan't to notice that someone was black or white or brown? confused

Do you mean 'my children do not make negative assumptions based on the colour of someone's skin? Because that would be great.

-- - ---

Agree,

Why is it good that a child does notice a difference between themselves and others?
Why is it bad if they do notice?

I teach infants and I'd say pretty much ever child I teach/have taught could describe an other child in many terms - tall/short, boy/girl, hair colour, t shirt colour, and yes, skin colour.

When the children draw themselves and their friends they use the appropriate colour to shade their skin - we have a range of skin tone colours obviously. Would your children really not be able to draw their friends accurately?

As MrsDeVere says: my children do not make negative assumptions based on the colour of someone's skin - this is a good think, what we should all aim for. Not to not notice similarities and differences altogether.

Is it ever necessary to describe what someone looks like?

Well, of course there are many reasons why someone may need to describe another person, not just for a crime!

I always remember being met by another mum outside Rainbows with "So you're the mum of the little Black girl" - which (irrationally probably) offended me as she is mixed and saying she is black negated my input

DH hates being referred to as a tall black guy but is fine with tall Jamaican

& DD? Well her main descriptor is 'the one with the hair' she is fed up with it but accepts it's better than "of dual heritage" which some surveys are pushing on her

She is very pragmatic about descriptors and picks the most noticeable - be it colour, hairstyle, height or dress

I was a teen in Liverpool in the 80s & we used Black, coloured was already unacceptable, in Norfolk it's been used in DD's school since 2000- I politely corrected it

Call us Black but please don't call us coloured or Negro.
Also trying to justify your reasons for doing otherwise is lame.
Black people are tired of being told what is 'OK ' for them like we are some kind of species from the clouds.
We alone KNOW what makes us comfortable- so please spare us the ageism excuse etc.

Yanbu but I think it's unlikely she meant harm. My pil still are very much of the opinion that coloured is the correct and polite term and to them black is wrong. We have explained that they are wrong and what is acceptable has changed in the last 50 years but who knows if it has sunk in. Just doesn't come up that often.

A relative of mine who is in their 60's and from London would never use the word 'black' to describe someone as they reckon in their day, that it was the worst thing you could say and very offensive. They were taught that 'coloured' is the polite term.

I can corroborate that.
I grew up in Croydon in the 1960s and 1970s. It was pretty cosmopolitan and it was considered offensive back then to describe someone as black. We used to say coloured. To be honest I only learned from mumsnet in recent years that black has replaced coloured as the correct descriptive term.

Yes my parents grew up in handsworth in the 50s and slapped me for calling a school friend black not coloured. those were the days.

I personally find the term offensive so I don't think you're being unreasonable.

DH hates being referred to as a tall black guy but is fine with tall Jamaican

Obviously totally up to the person being described to chose how they would describe themselves, but how would people know he was Jamaican, if they were using a description of him to help someone distinguish him from other people ? It'd be like saying 'The tall accountant' or 'the chap that is an insurance salesman' - it's not something you can tell visually unless he's wearing a Jamaican football shirt or something.

I try to avoid threads like this - but to be fair this on the whole has been a pretty balanced discussion.

I don't think the terms change so often - I think it just takes time for changes to permeate.

I am black - not colored or a negro. There are geographical and generational differences, and individuals themselves have their own preference.

There is a difference with being politically correct - and not being offensive or some sort of "ism" and to dismiss racism as "PC gone mad" is pretty disgusting - let me caveat that statement by saying I am not pointing that at anyone on this thread!

Similar to you nickname. I didnt know it was incorrect until mn. I grow up in 1980s and it was considered the correct polite word and using the word black was really bad.