The term 'coloured'

[Ticktock12]

So I'm a new member of a team and one of my colleagues described someone and said 'Oh the coloured lady'. I corrected her obviously stating its offensive.
Aibu or is this a term people still use?

Why is it irrelevant, WindPowerRanger? I'm reading this in Cape Town. Not everyone is in the UK - where the term is certainly outdated and offensive. There are lots of people here who proudly self-identify as coloured. I think people should know about them and their culture.

I'm a member of the older generation. I don't find it confusing at all. I suspect this might be because a) I think people should be called what they want to be called. b) because I try not to use physical characteristics o describe people if it's not necessary and c) because I'm not a closet racist.

I think it's both a generational and geographical 'thing'.....growing up in rural Scotland in the 80's where there were very few ethnic groups, the term coloured was used and calling some one black was offensive ....
On a slightly different angle I don't like being referred to as 'Scotch'....I am not a drink!

Because this is about usage in the UK, villanous, and how the term is used in South Africa (to describe a specific group) does not influence or inform how it is or isn't understood here.

People are hostile because they feel they are being accused of being racist when all they are doing are using the phrases they used when they were young

And haven't bothered to consider the feelings of non-white people ever since?

By the way, there appears to be some confusion over South Africa. It was one of the groups under apartheid, I think they had blacks, whites, coloureds and indians. So coloured had a slightly different meaning there.

"Dragonnoodlecake my kids don't notice colour of skin either. We are all just people to them, that's how it should be."

No it isn't. Why would you want to erase people's culture and history like that?

Bingo!

Location has a lot to do with it as well, when I lived and worked in a diverse city centre I was much more confident in correct terminology. Now living and working in the suburbs I avoid any description for fear of mistakes. My elderly neighbour got herself so worked up after witnessing a viscous assault for fear of having to describe the victim and not knowing the correct way.

I used to use it, because I genuinely thought it was less offensive than 'black', especially as many people aren't! But when I heard that it was, I stopped.

"Dragonnoodlecake my kids don't notice colour of skin either. We are all just people to them, that's how it should be."

No it isn't. Why would you want to erase people's culture and history like that?

I don't want to erase anyone's history or culture! I just want to live in a world where people aren't pointed out by the colour of their skin, I really hate it. It's skin for goodness sake, we are all the same underneath it!

I had to mention this to my friend recently. She's in her late twenties. She used coloured a few years ago and I winced but didn't say anything, then when she used it again recently I had to mention it. It is hard, especially because for most people it is coming out of a place of genuine niceness - but on balance I think it would be better for me, as her friend, to mention it quietly, rather than someone judging her for something she didn't know she was doing wrong, iyswim.

Wrt to 'people of colour,' rather than 'coloured' my understanding is that it is a bit like 'person with a disability,' being better than 'disabled person' in that the 'person' is first and then the description/qualifier, rather than the disability/blackness being the most noticeable thing about them. It suggests that we are all one race of people, with different 'aspects' to us, skin colour, health issues, etc, rather than disabled people or coloured people being a completely different, separate category. Sorry if that's explained badly.

The other explanation is that people who have been discriminated against for whatever reason have the right to choose the description they prefer to use, and it doesn't have to make sense, or be approved, by anyone else. Which is also fair enough.

Great post by OdinsLoveChild on P2
There are some completely wrong posts on here though.
(Sorry, can't remember all names from pages back)

Saying that 'coloured' has always been offensive is totally untrue. As others have pointed out, it was the 'correct' term that replaced 'black' when I was growing up.
Saying 'I wouldn't be referred to as the white woman' is equally daft - in a room full of non-white people if that distinguished you when someone was trying to describe you, then of course you would be. What an odd thing to say.
However, I think it's important to take the intent of the person who said something into account. Then you can explain that the 'correct terminology' this year is ....... - there is no need to leap down their throat if it's simply something they didn't know / got confused about. These things evolve over time.

My mother is 96 and understood a good 30 years ago that it isn't accepted terminology.

'Coloured' is also a euphemism-that's how it started. In effect, as a way to avoid saying 'black' so the poor black people wouldn't get upset having their horrible embarrassing blackness referred to.

Now, of course, as we (almost) all accept there is nothing at all wrong with being black and it is not inferior, we can just talk about it directly instead of going all round the houses.

Why is it now offensive? I am 50 this year and that's what we said in London when I lived there. What happened to make it offensive. It's hard to change something you have always done so if people slip up now and then it's not surprising. I didn't even know it was offensive now but maybe that's because I live in an area with very few cultures and nobody has skin other than white. What do people say now?

It is offensive, but it's not so much her use of the word that's the problem but her reaction to being told about it.

It does always surprise me how hostile people can be when they're told a term they're using to describe someone else isn't acceptable.

Exactly this. If you've offended somebody, it really isn't about your feelings anymore. I wish people would stop excusing her hostility as being ok because she "felt she was being accused of being racist"

On another note, please stop raising your children to "note see colour" people! This causes so many problems.

We are all one colour or another, that's why I hate the term coloured. White people aren't white, more shades of pink and peach. Why single out black people?

Someone very close to me who is black, always says 'coloured'

What do you mean "told off by who" with a patronising confused face? Whoever I said it to obviously. Generally an adult as black was considered offensive locally and we were taught not to say it.

I had Pakistani neighbours growing up who never wanted to be referred to as "black" because it was used negatively by white people (I'm from Bradford which was not notorious in the 70s and 80s for being happily multicultural).

We were talking about skin colour terminology at work the other day - my office is very multi cultural. One of the black ladies said 'if you want to know what I'd like to be described as, people can ask me'.

Fair point, I thought.

I am 50 +. I don't and have never used the term 'coloured'
On a slightly different note, my parents, who were very 'liberal' for want of a better term, were always keen to accept people of different ethnicities. (Sp?). This used to confuse me if I brought a non white school friend home and they would treat her with more sensitivity than my other friends. I know now that it really was a generational thing, but it used to annoy the hell out of me! I remember going to one such friends party and being closely questioned about food, music etc on my return. Um, it was exactly the same as I'd had at my 15th two weeks previously.

Tbh as a black person I liked to be called what I am black

So that black girl Ect however if Somone called me coloured I would be like 🙁But wouldn't dwell on it

It's not somthing I get from young people usually older people

My next door neighbour said to me once I used to date a coloured chap he was so handsome looked like margin Gaye lol