with kindness even if they had been awful to you?
Ever since I got pregnant with DS1 3 years ago, SIL who at the time was unmarried but a long term partner to my DH's DB and childless has decided not to talk to me and has been very rude on a number of occassions. We and DC1 were sidelined very much at their wedding (sat away from the rest of the family, not invited to events in the run up to it etc) and she's not included us in a number of family events that she had organised.
My DH and DFIL put this down to that she was suffering from some concerns that she would be infertile and that she is a good 10 years older than me and in the time that she got proposed to, Id come in and got married and had a baby so there was an element of jealousy. My other SIL has also said that she thought she was jealous of me (goodness knows why!)
I know she was struggling with that her DH had not proposed years ago as she confided in me before she decided that I was the anti christ. However happily, they are now married and are expecting their first child next month.
We saw them yesterday at a family gathering and she was mardy all day (she has been whenever I've been around including when I brought our first DS to a family event), refusing to acknowledge or even look at toddler DS who tried to engage with her several times and my newborn (2 weeks old) DS despite various people looking at her when holding DS2 saying 'This will be you next!!', she would turn away and grunt. She claimed she wasn't feeling very well and sat in a corner all day.
However her DH, DH's DB is still lovely so I feel like I want to help them out as they don't have much money and i know he has been stressing about finances. AIBU to kill her with kindness by sending her lots of baby equipment that we don't need (I haven't skimped - we are talking thousands) in the hope it might make her a bit nicer to us? or should I just forget it and put it all on ebay?