To be annoyed at everyone wanting to hold DD

[Christinedonna]

Just that basically. DD is 7 weeks old and everyone wants to hold her all the time. Extended family I mean, aunts, uncles..and once they have her they let their kids (5 or 6 year old) hold her without running it past me.. They ensure their kids are sat down and help them hold her nicely but still, she's not a doll

I completely understand that everyone wants a cuddle. I have no problem with that, it's just the not giving her a break and not caring that she may not be enjoying it as much as everyone else. The passing her to your kids without asking is the biggest thing. I am very anxious, they drop her head or wriggle with her, the other day OHs 6yo cousin tried to take the buggy from me, if that was my child id tell her to get off straight away but everyone else, it's goes straight over their head. His family is a lot bigger than mine and rather than us visiting individually they all seem to gather at one house and I'm completely overwhelmed and outnumbered

Wish my siblings were more like you OP. I'll get often three teenies left in carseats (sometimes all together) by my feet, often without even a nappy change bag so I have to keep a stock of stuff at home. When we have meals out the babies have to be shared between by dh and I, and we'll often have them the whole time!

YABU, but it comes up on MN regularly, so you aren't alone.

I feel I'm helping the parent by holding the baby still even if they aren't asleep / gurgling at me, as that's what I'd have hoped for when mine were tinies - a minute to have a wee / cuppa / shower / get changed / do a job / etc. Used to really rankle with me when ceertain people only wanted to be involved when the baby was sleeping peacefully. In my book, you're an involved family member, or you're not.

Visit me. I loathe babies - you can happily hold her all day ( as long as you deal with the fouled nappies)

I understand OP, I felt rather simply when my DD was born. I got a bit peeved about people in the street touching her and the like. I felt quite 4th trimestery about the whole thing and I think it's pretty normal/biological.

That said, the benefit of hindsight made me realise how pfb I was being. For your own good I think YABU but I mean that kindly. Babies are tougher than thry look and as long as everyone behaves and hands her back if she's upset then try and enjoy how much love she's getting,

• felt similar! (Typing left handed with a sleepy baby on my lap)

But because it's OHs family and I know they mean well I don't feel comfortable saying no or saying "can I have her back now"

So your problem isn't your baby being held by others, it's your inability to simply take your baby back from your partner's family.

Completely different issue.

I am another one who hates holding other people's newborns, it just feels really alien. But there is always that awkward pass that if you do not take your turn you are the wicked witch of the west. I would not be surprised if many of the people asking to hold the baby do so as they see it as the polite thing to do.

The thing is, whilst we live in a technologically advanced era, our basic instincts to want to hold and bond with a new baby is still as strong as ever, especially in a family.
In evolutionary terms it would have meant that your much loved, wonderful baby would have been nurtured by other humans if something dreadful had happened to you, and your 'tribe' would have loved and cared for her.
In a few months time she won't be as appealing, but I still remember how much I loved holding my baby cousins, even though they now have babies of their own, and I barely see them. The bonds are hard to break, and 10, 20, 30 years down the line your current discomfort will have been worth it.

I have a 5 week old. I have no problem with people holding my baby as long as it is someone I know and trust obviously but if he starts to cry I go straight over or dh goes straight over and just take the baby back and say "oh dear he is probably hungry you can have another cuddle when he's settled".

I think this is quite normal with a new baby in the family, especially a large family, once she's a few months old it will stop. Its nice that your family all care, how would you feel if they weren't interested, that would be worse surely.

Yabu. You'd have something to say. If people showed no interest and sat there stone faced.

Well, I have to say I am glad I not alone! I honestly don't know how mums get anything done at all nowadays as they seem to have to have baby permanently clamped to them at all times!
Regulars on here are this type of post (I don't want anyone to hold my baby because he or she is MINE), I can't do anything all day because my baby will only nap in my arms, no-one is getting any sleep because we are co-sleeping but I don't want to move them from my bed etc have me shaking my head and wondering who is the most needy - mum or baby?

YABU.

Of course aunts and uncles etc. want to have a little hold of the latest family member.