AIBU to think that Nursery shouldn't have done this?

[CtotheB]

We have recently started weaning my 6 month old DD with fruit purée and some BLW. At the minute it is 1-2 meals per day. She was at Nursery all day on Monday so I dropped her off with her usual milk and a jar of food I know she liked and wasn't allergic to (hasn't previously had a reaction). On Thursday she was in from 12.30-4pm so I gave her breakfast and thought she would be fine at nursery and give her tea at 5/6pm. Anyway when I picked her up her diary said she really enjoyed her yoghurt, but I hadn't given a yoghurt for her to have. Queried this and they said they have Nursery fromage frais that they'd given her. AIBU to think they shouldn't have done this, given the fact she a) hasn't had dairy (aside from milk) and b) didn't seek permission?? In hindsight after a bit of research I've decided the only fromage frais she will be having is no added refined sugar, as this is the 3rd or 4th highest ingredient in most!! She's a baby fgs I don't think she needs the sugar..

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

If you're giving her fruit purée she's going to think everything is sweet. Get her used to savoury.

[Writerwannabe83]

This thread has given me a huge laugh this morning.

Unless you have a dairy free diet OP then your child will have been exposed to dairy via your breast milk. You'd have known a long, long time ago if she was intolerant.

My DS went to a childminder and I'm sorry to burst your bubble but she also gave fromage frais yogurts to her mindees. Oh the horror. In fact, on DS's first day she gave him a chocolate biscuit, which he'd never had before, but thankfully common sense told me it really wasn't an issue.

DS is now 2.5 years and only on the 25th percentile so I can breathe a sigh of relief that he isn't obsessed from all the yogurts

[Writerwannabe83]

obsessed from all the yogurt

....was clearly meant to say at least he's not obese from all the yogurt

[TiggyD]

Nursery shouldn't have given something that was not agreed upon. Did you state clearly what you wanted in writing or assume they wouldn't just use their judgement? I need to know before I declare whether or not you're being unreasonable.

[TiggyD]

And have you googled to see if there's a support group for survivors of fromage frais?

[MissRabbitIsMyIdol]

Did you not enquire about food before she started? At my daughter's nursery we're given the menu's for each season and we also completed forms which included any food intolerances or food we didn't want her to have for religious or cultural reasons. Did you not have anything like this?

[Freezingwinter]

Well, your previous post about children people obese was rude and unncessary.

Sorry but I think Yabu. Very, in fact. What are to going to do when your little one is invited to parties? Or when their friend brings birthday cake into school?

Usual practice is for nurseries to feed babies and children. I'm not sure if your nursery is different but my nursery follows healthy eating. You can send in food but chocolate, crisps, biscuits etc not allowed. Yoghurt, fruit, etc is allowed. When she's a toddler she will want more snacks and I think yoghurt is actually a fine snack.

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

Our nursery provides all food and when they start the staff go through any allergies, dietary preferences etc.

One child in my DS's room isn't allowed pudding at all, and I feel a bit sorry for them. I always wonder if they're allowed to go and play rather than have to sit whilst all the other children eat theirs. And what on earth will happen when they're older at a party...

[BaronessEllaSaturday]

Just double checked and there is no added sugar in the fromage frais I get for my dd. I also compared the levels of sugar in the fromage frais and a nice healthy organic pear puree and per hundred grams the puree was higher. Also didn't contain any protein which the fromage frais does so I know which I'd rather my dd eats.

If you have agreed which foods your dd can or can't have at nursery and they have gone against this then yes yanbu however if they are just following their own schedule for food (tea at mine is at 3.30) without agreeing any different then yabu.

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

The food at my DC's nursery is very good and all made there. I don't know why you think a childminder would be different btw.

[Tanith]

Unfortunately, when you send your child in to childcare, you do need to make it crystal clear what you want. They have lots of children to care for, most of whom eat fromage frais quite happily with their parents' blessing. If they can't meet your wishes, they should tell you.

Avoiding sugar for under 3s is such a common request, I'd be surprised if they hadn't used a sugar free one. So I don't think you'd be unreasonable to request it.

Sometimes I care for little ones whose parents are very controlling over what they can and can't eat - makes it a little difficult to cater for, but not impossible so long as it's clearly set out in writing.

The worst started in my care with 3 sides of A4 sheets, listing all he was to avoid! I resisted my DH's suggestion of letting him graze on the lawn at mealtimes...!

Of course it would be that child who decided to eat the bright blue tissue paper and glue he was meant to be sticking - the Lord only knows what was in that!!

[CtotheB]

No listen the issue isn't really the yoghurt blah blah it's more the fact that she has ONLY just started solid food, the nursery are aware of this hence the fact that I hadn't been shown the menus, it hadn't been discussed as of yet. So, the nursery aren't aware whether she is lactose intolerant or not, they just made an assumption which may have ended badly.
No, I'm not going to be one of these mothers that doesn't let their child have puddings, I just want to instil from an early age that sugary foods are not a go-to snack, I would rather she had fruit and veg instead. Yes she can have yogurt, but I'd rather the sugar free varieties. Apologies if I've offended anyone, I suppose I just feel a bit under minded by them, that maybe they should have checked first and had a discussion.
Thanks for the replies though, it's an interesting discussion.

[CtotheB]

And for those commenting on lactose, for all you know I may have cut dairy out of my diet anyway, in which case she wouldn't have very much, if any, in her milk..

[CtotheB]

Can I also point out that I'm not talking about a toddler, I'm talking about a 6 month old baby.
I'm sure if I'd made comment my MiL had fed her I would have had the opposite response

[CtotheB]

Oh and finally, as for the PFB comments, is it normal to not care about any consecutive children?

[Tanith]

I think, in that case, you are not being unreasonable to expect a discussion with them first and I can understand where you are coming from.

I think the best thing you can do is to raise it with them and request that they only give her foods you know to be safe. I'm a little surprised they haven't done this already - they should be managing her weaning with you - but perhaps this is the kind of thing that has decided you to move childcarers?

[Tanith]

Re Lactose - oh yes she would
The milk you produce has lactose in it. A lactose-intolerant child cannot drink any milk at all unless it's altered to be lactose-free.

[CtotheB]

It's more about cost to be honest. But I've got to give four weeks notice. I'm going to request they give her food I provide or check before giving her other food in future. When I had a meeting with her soon to be childminder we had a similar conversation and she said for the first year or so she would rather I provided her food, I suppose I thought in the absence of a discussion nursery would be the same..

[CtotheB]

How do people breastfeed a lactose intolerant child then? Or can't it be done..?

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

But as your child drinks milk then the nursery unless you said so otherwise would assume she wasn't dairy or lactose intolerant. They can only go on the information you give them.

Cutting dairy out of your diet makes no difference to lactose as its naturally made in breast milk. Dairy intolerance and lactose intolerance are two different things.

[mikado1]

I was completely ridiculous about food for my pfb (lost sleep when I discovered he had been giving slices of toast and white bread ham sandwiches at times) but I was very clear that I would provide more if more was needed (cm) and provided all meals and snacks. Just let the nursery know your plan.

zeeboo totally agree, yabu op saying you do some blw, you mean finger food.

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

Why do you think your DD is lactose intolerant? It's really unusual.

[mikado1]

You do care about consecutive children but perspective is a great thing and you realise that once you provide 90% good stuff it's an easier life for all if you relax about the rest and it won't effect your child's long-term health. I don't provide any treats junk but between parties, Halloween, Christmas, Easter, he has more than his fair share. Making it a big deal makes it a big deal iykwim.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

as for the PFB comments, is it normal to not care about any consecutive children?

It's more that you get a better feel for what actually matters and what doesn't and you can just let go of. But feel free to accuse others of not caring about their children if you wish.