AIBU to think that Nursery shouldn't have done this?

[CtotheB]

We have recently started weaning my 6 month old DD with fruit purée and some BLW. At the minute it is 1-2 meals per day. She was at Nursery all day on Monday so I dropped her off with her usual milk and a jar of food I know she liked and wasn't allergic to (hasn't previously had a reaction). On Thursday she was in from 12.30-4pm so I gave her breakfast and thought she would be fine at nursery and give her tea at 5/6pm. Anyway when I picked her up her diary said she really enjoyed her yoghurt, but I hadn't given a yoghurt for her to have. Queried this and they said they have Nursery fromage frais that they'd given her. AIBU to think they shouldn't have done this, given the fact she a) hasn't had dairy (aside from milk) and b) didn't seek permission?? In hindsight after a bit of research I've decided the only fromage frais she will be having is no added refined sugar, as this is the 3rd or 4th highest ingredient in most!! She's a baby fgs I don't think she needs the sugar..

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yet check out the school Lunch box threads where everyone is horrified at the sugar content of kids yogurts and suggest buckets of lidls Greek yogurt Instead...

[Ausernotanumber]

My mother when she was dying from cancer lived on fromage frais. Clearly I need to complain to the hospice.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Oh the "no wonder your kids are obese" comment is so classy

[ayeokthen]

Please tell me you're not going to be "that mum" that makes her kid sit and watch while everyone else has birthday cake at nursery because you don't want them to have it. There's a couple of those at our nursery and the kids look so sad, it's really unfair.

[milkshakeandmonstermunch]

Oh I'm torn OP. Ultimately YANBU because you have only just started to wean your baby. You sent in food and nursery should have stuck to that. I wouldn't pull DC out of nursery but I'd insist that they only fed her with food provided by you.

On the other hand, you are being a bit unrealistic long term in terms of what your DC is and isn't allowed. It is perfectly understandable at this point but you won't be able to control it long term. When your DC moves up to the toddler room the other kids will be pudding, cake etc. Will your child sit with a banana? Imo that is what causes obesity - certain foods being the forbidden fruit.

PS My DF took my DD to (gasp) McDonald's for a Happy Meal when she was just about 2. She survived.

[justiceboner]

2 kids

One can and does pretty much eat anything.

Other one is allergic to everything but fresh air. Oh and is gluten, milk protein (caesin & whey) and lactose reactive. Legit NHS disgnosis by the way, not some arm waving woo bollox. Has never had a fromage frais in their life cos the fallout(!) just aint worth it

Take a guess which child while being on the 99th centile for height is around the bottom of the weight charts, as in rib showingly skinny, and despite eating a stupendous amount of food has put on just over 800g in the last year?

[headinthecloud]

Why do people bother asking aibu and then get annoyed when people aren't agreeing with them? It's not just unreasonable it's ridiculous!

Can someone please tell me what pfb means...

[justiceboner]

precious first born

[Soubriquet]

PFB= precious first born

When parents go a bit nuts over their first baby

[Holymolymay]

My ds1 was weaned at 16weeks ( many years ago). Went to nursery at 6m and got fed cake the lot. Lots of fromage frais/ jars. He's a happy healthy and skinny teen now. It's much ado about nothing in grand scheme of things.

[Soubriquet]

have a read of this headinthecloud

[zeeboo]

Oh and OP, while you're busy being so smug and all, you can't do "some BLW" Baby led weaning means no solid food enters the baby's mouth unless the baby puts it there themselves. It's a real, researched and recognised part of child rearing and not something for you to brag that you do because in addition to the oh so healthy jars you give her you occasionally let her hold a piece of apple.

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

I have a diabetic child and people's ideas about dietary sugar are sooo ignorant. His primary head teacher told me my kid must have fruit juice for hypos "because it was healthy". I had to explain that when he was suffering from low blood sugar it didn't really matter whether it was fruit juice or sweets or sweet tea. In fact anything with sugar in it. What was important was getting sugar inside him fast.

There is sugar in breast milk and in fruit puree, OP. YABTU. You are also ignorant and snooty. If you're going to micromanage your child, better become a SAHM .

[Stopyourhavering]

My ds used to devour fromage frais when he was being weaned!.... He's now 17 , 6ft 2 and as skinny as a rake and has a very healthy diet and shock horror does eat sweets occasionally as well.....( btw he was bf for 18 months as well)
in the whole scheme of things YABU

[jugotmail]

As ex nursery staff I would never have done this without consultation. She is only 6 months, just weaning and there could have been a possible allergy issue (I cared for a child whose dairy allergy became apparent at weaning).In the baby room weaning children were usually fed with home food then went onto the nursery menu when the parent was ready. I would ask the nursery not to feed her non home food unless they had checked with me for the first couple of months of weaning - after that you should have access to a copy of the menu and if there are no food problems go for it.

[Nanny0gg]

No wonder children are all obese nowadays with your attitudes to food.

This from someone who thinks 'natural' sugars are 'different'.
Sugar is sugar is sugar.

And why do people have to be so rude when they don't get the 'correct' response to their questions/opinions?

[Marmalade85]

I would love to live your life if this is your biggest stressor at the moment.

[unimagmative13]

Firstly you can't puree and BLW sorry!

You are doing puree and finger foods. I feel the same about certain foods, so if my child was in a nursery or going to any sort of childcare I was ask for menu and then say which bits they aren't having.

You didn't specify anything so therefore I don't think have any right to kick off about a yogurt. One FF won't kill her but I prefer to use plain yougurt (when I spent a few hours researching ingredients).

I also wouldn't feed a jar then complain about a fromage frais.

If your specific about what foods your child has then you need to express that. I make clear what he can and can't have.

Also no need for this soft allergy approach if there's no history of allergies.

[YeOldMa]

I don't think you are being terribly unreasonable but maybe worrying a little unnecessarily as there was no harm done. It sounds to me like you are a first time Mum who feels that you want everything to be done 'properly'. By the time you get a little further down the line, you will have probably relaxed your standards a little bit! If your child had been weaned for a long time then I would have probably said you were worrying much too much but as you've just started out, I think it is just natural and shouldn't be bashed for following NHS advice. Even as a diabetic, they don't say no sugar, they say limited sugar and teach you how to slow down the carb (all carbs turn to sugars) element of your diet so you don't get the insulin rush which is where the fat gets laid down. Exercise will be the most important thing so try not to get too hung up about sugars.

[unimagmative13]

I also can't believe someone fussy or looking for allergies didn't know about sugar in a fromage frais

[NoNutsPlease]

While are you so worried about allergies OP?

My son has food allergies and milk was the first we discovered. He was ebf and when he was 6mo I gave him his first food of (plain, natural ) yoghurt and he had a nasty reaction. Poor thing was covered in hives I never knew about his allergies until that day, so no you don't always find out through breastfeeding.

So if you have allergies in the family I understand the 'new food' anxiety. But your tone and the way you come across is awful, so on that note YABU.

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

If she was lactose intolerant you would know about it as it's naturally found in breast milk. The dairy you eat is also in your milk. I had a dairy allergic baby and if you are bf you have to also stop eating dairy.

Why are you so hung up on allergies? Why on earth would you think she was lactose intolerant? It's really rare!

It's a yoghurt. There's sugar in fruit purée, sugar is sugar. You are being totally pfb, it's hardly cola in a bottle.

[catkind]

It sounds like nursery are not best organised on this. It should have been made clear to you what food was offered when. Our nursery had a massive long list of food types and would ask what they'd had at home and not want to give anything at nursery that wasn't already fed at home. As DS didn't start till 1 we just wrote that we were happy for them to offer him anything on the menu but prefer him to be offered fruit not puddings. He adored fruit so that was no hardship for him.
We did pretty much let DS try anything from 6 months but I don't think it's the norm still, lots of people take a more gradual approach and I'd expect a nursery to be able to go along with that. Whether we agree with OP's choice of weaning foods or not is kind of beside the point.

[MissDuke]

Well with my pfb, I would been annoyed too op to be fair. I was very fussy about what she had. However if it had been either of the younger too I probably wouldn't have been bothered

However as others have said pureed fruit is definitely not the way to go if you are worried about sugar. Getting them used to sweet foods at an early stage isn't a good idea. It is better to stick with veg initially.

Why don't you tell nursery that you only want her to be given the food that you supply? That is reasonable!

Also as for dairy - do you have dairy in your diet? If so, it is highly likely that any intolerance would have presented by now.

[Libitina]

OP YANBU about the nursery giving your child food that you had not supplied. However, YABVU if you think that fruit puree is healthy and low sugar.