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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my 3 year old should be able to participate in this club?

56 replies

JonahAndTheSale · 08/10/2016 08:58

I've just started bringing my 3 year old to a 'tots' sport club - once a week for age 2-5's.

He really seems to not enjoy it. He likes the bit where they play monster/treasure/pirate games and warm ups or cool down but he behaves very strangely during the actual 'skill' teaching.

For example yesterday he just sat down in the middle of the hall and looked so sad Sad. He was crying loudly and then he went and sat in the corner.

I'm really wondering what to do here? My first reaction is, he's only 3 and still so young. I hated sport growing up but dh is v sporty so maybe he's taking after me?

Ds kept showing that he wanted to go to McDonald's! Blush we've been to McDonald's about 5 times in his life and then it's just for fries, no drinks, no burgers etc. We do other fast food, the children love pizza so I'm not against McDonald's but it was so bizarre.

I don't really know what I want from mumsnet on this!

Just wondering would or could your 3 year old have went to a 45 minute club and joined in or am I expecting too much?

My 20 month old dd enjoyed the club more and she was trying to copy the other toddlers even though she is technically too young to be there.

I'm also worried that because I didn't take ds to toddler groups and I opted out of nursery full time (goes 2 days a wee) that he's missed out on the team/social thing.

He had absolutely no sense of embarrassment that all the other kids were joining in and he was having a meltdown.

Feel free to be honest!

OP posts:
Ginmakesitallok · 08/10/2016 09:01

At 3 there's no way my dd would join in a 45 min session. He's still a baby! Much to early to draw conclusions that he won't be sporty!

lougle · 08/10/2016 09:01

If he's hating it I simply wouldn't take him.

mumofhandsomeboys · 08/10/2016 09:02

Was it your first time? My DS needs to go somewhere lots of times to be comfortable being there and joining in. Could you play with him for he first few weeks so he becomes More confident? Hard with a younger one, I know. Would the younger one sit in the buggy with a snack? I'd keep going for a few weeks. If after 5/6 weeks he's still not enjoying it, maybe give up for now and try again in 6 months. Good luck Smile

SpotTheDuck · 08/10/2016 09:02

He's very young! They're aiming it at 2-5, but all children develop at different paces and it sounds like he's just not ready.

I wouldn't worry - he'll get there at some point. In the meantime maybe look for a less structured activity or playgroup for him.

Original poster
JonahAndTheSale · 08/10/2016 09:05

It was the third week. The first week he wouldn't do anything so I held his hand and did it all while he watched me. None of the other parents have to do this!

Second week he was excited to go but same thing. Third week was this week and it looks like he really hates it.

OP posts:
ElizabethLemon · 08/10/2016 09:06

He had absolutely no sense of embarrassment that all the other kids were joining in and he was having a meltdown•

Seriously?! He's 3!

atticusclaw2 · 08/10/2016 09:07

He doesn't enjoy it. He's 3. Don't take him.

Not attending will not affect him in any way.

sdaisy26 · 08/10/2016 09:07

It might be worth sticking with it for a bit. My 2yo has always come along to his sister's preschool ballet lessons. For ages when he was too young he was adamant he wanted to go too. So as soon as he was 2 we signed him up. He then refused to join in for almost a whole term! Now though, he absolutely loves it. He's quite a shy boy & it just takes him time to get into things.

DrunkenMissOrderly · 08/10/2016 09:08

Why not try to find an activity he DOES enjoy?

Aeroflotgirl · 08/10/2016 09:08

At that age, 45 mins is Avery long time, he's just not ready. Wait another year, no rush.

Aeroflotgirl · 08/10/2016 09:09

How they expect 2 year olds to concentrate for that time, it's too long for that age, especially the 2_3 year olds. If he's not enjoying it, don't go

AChickenCalledKorma · 08/10/2016 09:09

My first three year could have coped with a structured session but her younger sister definitely wouldn't have. They are all different and it really is OK.

If he isn't loving it, go to the park with a ball. He'll learn far more thorough active play that he actual enjoys.

Jizzomelette · 08/10/2016 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbarianMum · 08/10/2016 09:12

Ds1 used to go to mini tennis, ages 3-5. Mostly it was 4 and 5 year olds that attended. Every single 3 year old who tried it ended up in tears, or running around pretending to be an aeroplane instead of joining in. Same at Sat morning football. 3 is just too young for this type of structured activity - try him again in a year or so.

Whathaveilost · 08/10/2016 09:13

Hes done 3 weeks and has made it clear that he diesnt like it.
Why are you insisting he has to carry on? It doesn't make sense.

converseandjeans · 08/10/2016 09:15

They're all different - I wouldn't make him do something he wasn't enjoying. It's the only way of communicating that he doesn't want to be there. It doesn't mean he will always hate sport. It might be difficult for the coaches if he's having meltdowns and you're getting overly involved to try and encourage him.

Original poster
JonahAndTheSale · 08/10/2016 09:16

I just didn't want to give up at the first hurdle.

I thought after a few weeks he might start to enjoy it!

As I said he talks about it and seems excited before we go and during the week!

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 08/10/2016 09:17

We signed dd up for ballet class when she was 2.

We tried it for 3 weeks and although she was enthusiastic at first, she quickly got very upset with having to go. So we stopped her going. Done.

She went back a few weeks ago (she's now 3) and loves it!

He might just be a bit too young for it

By the by, there is nothing wrong with McDonald's. It's food!! We all love McDonald's here and have it at least once a month

SuburbanRhonda · 08/10/2016 09:18

I started DD in ballet when she was 3. She hated it - could never really work out why.

So we stopped the ballet and spent more time in the nearby woods, finding sticks and poking them into holes in the ground. She much preferred that.

Sancia · 08/10/2016 09:23

My kids refused to do activities. Any sort of baby ballet, music, tot-sport, whatever. Mine was the kid who completely refused, lay on the floor and bawled til we left.

It's just what some kids do. They don't want to follow instructions and it isn't 'fun' for them.

Stop writing him off as 'not sporty' at 3. You don't inherit 'sportiness' and he isn't 'getting it' from anyone. He's 3 and doesn't see the point in doing what some random stranger says, and is too young to give a stuff what the other kids are doing.

Quit, enjoy some time without schedules, in a few years he'll be coming home asking to join something.

luckylucky24 · 08/10/2016 09:25

My son used to do baby ballet. He was very good and joined in but about 20-30 mins was his concentration limits.

Original poster
JonahAndTheSale · 08/10/2016 09:26

Sancia your post makes a lot of sense!

OP posts:
BurnTheBlackSuit · 08/10/2016 09:30

How about leaving it for 4 months until your younger one is 2 and able to join in?

StiginaGrump · 08/10/2016 09:32

We get sold this model of childhood where we expect a weird conformity and social ease that adults certainly don't have!

Enjoy him, give him opportunities and if they make him sad cuddle and try again. Then sod it if it doesn't work.

He is a baby it would be beyond odd if he had a sense of shame. He just grabbed for a happy moment and used it as a suggestion for an alternative - chips versus being trapped in the circle of weirdness - know which I would pick!

Aeroflotgirl · 08/10/2016 09:32

Please do not pass your issues onto him, why should he be embarrassed, he is a preschool child. Do not force him if he does not want to, you will make things worse. Do not take him again, try again in a year when he is older. That time is too long for 2-3 year olds to concentrate. You are coming across as very pushy.