Overweight but doesn't eat apparently - possible?

[Mozismyhero]

So, my DM is massively overweight. She is also diabetic. She says she doesn't eat, 'I've only had one piece of toast all day. I couldn't possibly eat all that (when eating out/at our house). And yet she doesn't lose any weight. Is that possible? Surely the weight would be falling off her if she didn't eat? Or do I just not understand diabetes?

AIBU to think that she must do it for attention and that she's secretly eating packets of biscuits and crisps?

I was recently diagnosed as having insulin resistance. Prior to medication, it didn't matter what I ate or how much I exercised, the weight was steadily increasing.

As your MIL said, I DID NOT eat much. My main problem started with forgetting to eat. I simply didn't have any form of appetite and my stomach (actually stomach, not belly) ended up being getting smaller and I couldn't handle too much food at once. I could go all day without food and get to bedtime and realise I felt off because I hadn't eaten at all that day. Realising that, I started to just eating whatever when I felt weird to get rid of that feeling. I realised I was eating far more carbs than someone with insulin resistance should. Basically my metabolism was shot.

I started taking metformin on March 2nd of this year and I've lost 18lbs so far which doesn't sound like a lot but I'm also 30 weeks pregnant (pregnant 3 weeks after starting metformin after 18 months of trying without a single positive HPT... and the reason I actually started taking metformin). Technically I got down by 22lbs but then gained 4lbs since (bubs was 3lbs 14oz estimated at my last scan).

So YES, from my experience YABU. Outside of my personal experience though, you're being rude and judgey. It's highly likely she eats the wrong kind of food rather than binging in secret but ultimately, you should assume fat people stuff their face all day and if they do, it's not your business (unless they stole your cookies).

Could she be hypo thyroid? You put on weight with that as your metabolism slows down. Is she constantly cold, tired and depressed? If so I'd recommend asking for a test and, as she already has an auto-immune condition (diabetes, I think is an AI condition) she should ask for a thyroid antibody screening and not just the standard THC test.

Cadle - that is also likely to be wrong.
Late-onset diabetes is nearly always type II. Except it's gradually onsetting earlier and earlier.
Type I diabetes is due to autoimmune (usually) destruction of the islets of Langerhans beta cells in the pancreas, leading to a failure to produce insulin. Can occur at any age and requires medication with insulin.
Type II diabetes can be controlled by diet, metformin etc. at least to start with, although some may also end up on insulin.

Thanks Albadross - that was well explained. I've heard of this 'starvation mode' before and quietly thought it must be a misconception but as a slim person who's never had to diet I didn't think it was my place to say anything, if you know what I mean!

Ps - sounds like you have an excellent understanding of your condition, I wish you the best of luck with overcoming it. I don't know anything about EDs but I do suffer from anxiety and all the irrational crap it makes you believe so I understand about trying to mentally work yourself out of something. /ends tangent.

I thought Prada Williled to compulsive overeating, not weight gain without overeating?

People with Prader Willi gain huge amounts of weight due to over-eating.

Plus, it's a congenital chromosomal disorder which has wide ranging physical effects and learning disabilities. It's not just about compulsive eating.

OPs Mum doesn't have it.

Yes and it doesn't cause weight gain without an increase of food

thumb. Late onset is also known as LADA, which is categorised as type 1.

Prada Willi is a double whammy as there is very low muscle tone and a reduced calorie requirement as well as the compulsion to overeat.

if these people have the ability to create energy from nothing

They're not creating it from nothing, they're getting it from far less food than you would expect from "Ms. Normal", because they're metabolising it differently. Or they have the appearance of using the same amount of energy as Ms. Normal but their body has shut down loads of the extraneous systems which burn unnecessary energy - such as periods, but many more on a micro level. So there is the appearance of eating very little by Ms. Normal's standards whilst some being fatter than Ms. Normal and all her friends expect!

*STILL being fatter, not some!

Thanks eat sleep that does make sense

This thread has some very polarising views. Firstly, we know that fat shaming has the opposite effect in people who are obese. People who claim to care about the "health of the nation" and the "pressure of the NHS" don't really convince me when they're making sweeping and offensive statements. That said, we - as society - really do make too many excuses for ourselves. We need a culture shift. There is, of course, a small percentage of people who have low muscle tone, take high doses of steroids and have metabolic conditions etc which means they have physiological causes for being overweight. However, there are a multitude of factors that has led to the rapid increase in obesity and they can't all be explained away by medical conditions. I don't think that means we need to be offensive and unhelpful to overweight people. I just don't believe "oh she might have a thyroid condition" is helpful either.

By the way, for the person who commented on psychiatric drugs and weight gain, that isn't wholly accurate. Certain medications, mostly antipsychotics, can lead to a rapid increase in hunger. With the exception of a handful, they do not alter your metabolic rate but they make you hungry and tired which means you are less likely to move more and burn off the extra calories you are consuming.

Thyroid, hmm.

Had Graves 1992 and did shed a stone. Had thyroidectomy later that year and effectively hypo managed with levothyroxine for 25 years. Put on a stone 35-45, another 45-55.

I walk significantly less than 15 years ago, park at work which is inaccessible by public transport. I also eat more and drink more wine.

Am just above my recommended BMI. I feel overweight but not obese. The only thing that stops,me from losing a stone is myself. Also have steoporosis and have had two serious fractures in the last 18 months.

Still run a home, garden work full time, do Pilates. Could not jog or do anything that might involve a fall.

My life is full on and sometimes I have a bun or a wine because one energises the other relaxed and I like them.

So really, no-one is denying that calories in>calories out is the cause of weight gain, but have argued that for certain individuals, the balance of calories out (or, calories available to be utilized) may be very low for reasons beyond their control. To which it could be replied: 'tough, life's not fair, they will simply have to get used to eating only what they need', or conversely argued that it is unreasonable to expect those people to eat only what they need without additional support. Is that right?

All theory and speculation
we need studies of large numbers where food intake is monitored and recorded in detail

I'm finding myself wondering how many of the ignorant, vitriolic fat shamers, spouting abuse of the NHS on this thread actually smoke

I do care but am past trying to help her with her health because it is an exercise in futility. She won't accept any help and it just causes ill feeling. I am overweight btw and could do with losing a few stone. I yoyo diet and have done all my life. I know how hard it is to change eating habits. It's not her weight I was asking about, it's why she constantly refers to it. I'm overweight because I eat too much 'bad' stuff and don't exercise. I wanted to know if that was the case with her or if it could be something else. And why does she feel the need to say, at EVERY meal, I never eat etc etc etc.

If shes constantly referring to it Mozi' then it suggests that she is ashamed of her size & trying to excuse it out of embarrasment. She could genuinely be telling the truth, though not quite so literally of course as she will eat more than just toast, she will have to eat regularly because of the diabetes. Though she could well feel nauseous & not be able to eat much.

Diabetes & the linked conditions can have MH issues as symptoms too, so it can make relationships & helping them very difficult. I went through this with my own DM too, its hard, they can be volatile & have bipolar like symptoms, even manipulative too. I really do feel for you, but if there is anyway you can get other health checks done for her & look at the side effects of her meds, then maybe theres is hope for her & your relationship too.

Mozis: maybe try to ignore anything she says about what she did or didn't eat. You can't change what words come out of her mouth. Focus on what you can do; you can be sympathetic when she talks about being ill, help her get to hospital for checkups, prepare healthy meals, those kinds of things.

I can thoroughly recommend Slimming World for anyone who struggles to lose weight. DD2 and I have managed to, despite some fairly humungeous obstacles to overcome. Frankly, if it can help me, with hypothyroidism, on 40mg steroids daily, and absolutely no way of doing any form of exercise without triggering an asthma attack bad enough to land me in Resus, or DD2 with PCOS, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, and likely lupus, it can help most overweight people.

It IS a simple calories in/calories out thing, but you have to take into account the differing obstacles placed in the way of different people. DD2 really struggles to lose weight because of her conditions, but she finds it easier than me because she can be active, whereas my controlled hypothyroidism doesn't cause me a problem, but the bloody steroids and enforced inactivity do. Plus, I will readily admit, I get SO BORED. And I eat. It's that or I get bored and do something a bit silly out of dimness or curiosity.

Could she be hypo thyroid? You put on weight with that as your metabolism slows down.

You put on weight with hypothyroid because you move less and eat more. It's still calories in Vs calories out. You're just using less calories because you move less due to feeling "Flat" and craving "energy boost" type foods because you feel rotten
The moving less is why your metabolism is slower not the other way round.

hypothyroid does not make you store more calories than any one else on same amt of cals in and cals out, it just makes moving more and eating healthy very challenging

I have a rare illness on top of my physical disabilities which makes me so bloeatd I look like ive a hot air balloon..

Because of the physical problems Im not able to run/jog/skip/jump etc, I can only do gentle exercises. but at least I exercise at all.

Ive been to dieticians/GPs/other tests/ and eat exactly what I need, small plates, I can only manage about 3 mouthfuls as it is, DC finishes off my plate, yet shes a thin as a rake (after herown big plate too).

I look like Im a glutton, imake Jabba the Hut look like Posh Spice, but its my illess (not going to say what is is in case I out myself!) plus inability to d strenuous exercise im full of flab and overweight.

it bloody pisses me off, but nothing can ease any of it. that's all im going to say on the matter, sometimes it just IS something wrong in your body, ive never secret ate or anything.

Most of the weight gain associated with an underactive thyroid is actually water, not fat. Its not related to calorie intake or exercise.