To ask what rules you have for older teens?

[Donthateprocreate]

Just that really.

Mine are perhaps at the age where it's too late to introduce any big rules but it's needed so wondering what sort of rules others have.

Appearing! Not spearing!

Mine are 21, 16 and 13 and I've never had too many rules other than, always be honest, be safe, and be respectful. Other than that I expect them to use common sense. They can only drink at home, no boyfriends or girlfriends overnight until they've been together at least six months. work hard in school. If they're staying out late to text me and let me know when they'll be home, where they are and who they're with.

These are scaring me to death. My eldest DD is just 16 and the thought of sex and alcohol is Surely I can lock her in for a few more years???

DD is 16(only just) current rules are; work hard at school; no phone or devices upstairs at night, no alcohol unless at home on a special occasion and then a shandy, look for a part time job, keep room tidy, wash up when asked, make dinner occasionally. No boyfriend yet so haven't gone down that route yet.

• behave when you're out and about or I'll find out about it eventually and bollock you
• Phone/ laptop in hall way at night
• Be nice to your mother and don't be a twat 😉

Dd1 is 16. Our rules are more or less Cory's rules, plus
*Go to College (and do your homework or assignments).
*Don't leave food waste/crockery etc in your bedroom.

DD2 is 15, there would be more rules for her about GCSE revision/homework, tidying room etc, don't stay out late without prior agreement, etc. But she mostly self-regulates on that stuff anyway (except for tidying her room, which I don't 100% care about in the end).

Oh, just remembered another rule:

*IF you said you wanted to come on a family holiday/festival etc and we have bought the tickets etc, you can't then just not come if something more tempting comes up.

The big rule in my house is "don't put your bum on the Internet!". That goes for everyone not just 18 yo dd. As long as I know if she's in for dinner I trust her on everything else. I'm very lucky, she's a great kid. ds 1 (12) on the other hand is going to need rules like the doomsday book.

Flying- ours is ' don't text or email ANYTHING you wouldn't be happy for your parents or everyone in the playground to see!'

DD is 19 and living in another city for uni, but thinking back to before she left we didn't have any "rules" as such, as i don't really agree with enforcing rules because i deem them to be the right thing, everything in our house would be discussed and agreed (or not) and a compromise reached.

She was trusted to make decisions based on doing the "right thing" for herself.
This may sound like hippy crap but it worked for us and we are proud of the person she is, and incidentally have never had any shit from her!

Same all encompassing rule we've had all their lives. "Don't be a dingbat"

I said I'd always pick my teenagers up from anywhere on a Saturday night but they had to let me know when and where by 9pm. If I hadn't heard by 9, I opened a bottle of wine. (Their teen years coincided with me being a single parent so I was in on a Saturday night!)

We had condoms in the bathroom cabinet from when the oldest was 16.

I don't think I had rules either. I don't have 'rules' for my DH or any other adults so I wouldn't have rules for young adults. I made a very conscious effort to move from a parent child relationship to a parent young adult relationship. That sounds way better than the reality because none of us were perfect and my DC were annoying at times and didn't always act like young adults.
I also tried my very hardest not to try and control my DC by more subtle means such as showing 'dissapointment' in them. It's difficult but I wanted them to live life for themselves and for them to be responsible for their own actions. Like I said this sounds much better written down than it pans out in practice but it was the general plan.

Not sure I really had "rules" as such but I did insist on knowing roughly what time they were going to be back and roughly where they were going on a night out. I always asked who they were going with too and how they planned on getting back (taxi, lift etc) just so I wasn't lying awake all night worrying!

That sounds really intrusive reading it back, but they never minded letting me know as they knew I only wanted to know out of concern.

Also - phones ON and answer texts please!

If you cook - clean up after yourself. If you're sick - clean up after yourself.

That's about it.

I don't think I have any rules. There doesn't seem to be a need for any. 20,18,16 yo.

I have just introduced the "not on laundry basket doesn't get washed" one but I can't think of any others.

Real housewives, underage sex is neither sensible or mature.