aibu schedule for 6 week old?

[kiki22]

Ds2 is a good sleeper however during the day he really needs quiet to sleep as a result of not getting the quiet he is becoming over tired crying lots and his night time sleep is suffering. I know its over tiredness as on days we are home and he sleeps soundly he sleeps well at night sleeping 8-7 only waking to feed days we have been out he wakes up frequently with no reason.

I mentioned to the hv that I felt I needed to start a schedule for his feeds and sleep as hes a bit all over the place, she made me feel like a terrible mum told me he was far to young to be running to my schedule to suit my needs. I did say I mean more of a routine than a schedule and its for all of us not to suit myself but she says it can be damaging for baby's not to follow them.

AIBU thinking I should be able to get him in to a routine over the next few weeks to help him settle and be happier or do I need to just grin and bare it? DS1 was similar he needed a routine but since he was an only I was able to go along with him for longer.

[QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins]

YANBU
I didnt know what the fuck I was doing with my first baby and thought I was going to have a breakdown and I was a bad mother until I discovered Gina Ford and routine. DS1 LOVED being in a routine (and still likes to know what is going to happen aged 8).

HOWEVER DD1 hated being in a routine and refused to read Gina Ford and conform, luckily as second child I knew a little more about babies and so just let her go with the flow.

Different methods work with different children. My advice is to try a routine and see how it works for you and your child, don't expect it to all fall into place in 1 day but if it isn't working for you within a couple of weeks then try something else. Good Luck.

[MrsSparkles]

I think if you leave it a few weeks you might find they naturally fall into a routine, around dc1! I always fed dd2 just before the school run ( no matter what time she'd fed before).

I'd also say don't be afraid to leave them dc2 grumbling for a bit (not full out screaming) so dc1 can have some attention. I also have 1 at school, 1 now 4 months And a dh who's usually out 14 hours a day, and sometimes the baby has to wait.

It's still v early days, but by all means give it a go.

[Lazyafternoon]

I started a routine with DS at about 6 weeks! It definitely suited me/DS.

I was struggling with BF and just generally getting a bit overwhelmed. He was waking 4-5 times a night and taking all evening to settle so I was absolutely exhausted too. It was a friend who talked about the Baby Whisperer. Half of it was twaddle (IMO) but the idea of a general routine you gradually tweak as time goes on made sense to me! So I started a loose sort of sleep - eat - activity - sleep routine during the day and a bedtime routine of bath, milk, song/nursery rhyme, bed. Feeds after babys bedtime were all in the dark and very quiet and calm, no talking, playing etc.

It made me feel a lot better by having some sort of structure to MY day and an idea of what happens next and being ready. It took a while, but by 4 months he was pretty reliably great at going to sleep at bedtime. We could do bedtime routine, pop him in his cot and he'd go to sleep! He still woke in the night for a long time, but at least we go our evenings back and could eat dinner and I actually had a bit of time with DH :-)

At almost 3 years old DS is still amazing at going to bed. Personally, and subjectively, I think it's down to starting a bedtime routine early and sticking to it fairly strictly every day over the months/ years, just very gradually tweaking things like bottles for beakers and milk before rather after bath as they get older.

[coconutpie]

Are you breastfeeding? Six weeks is far too young for a routine. If he's sleeping 8-7, then no wonder he's feeding all day long! He should be fed on demand, rather than every 3 hours.

[RNBrie]

Three dc here and all three in a routine as babies. Dc3 is three months old now, ebf, and we started at two weeks old. She's never left to cry or goes hungry, she's fed every three hrs during the day and sleeps 6.30-6.30 with a feed at 10pm which I wake her for.

She's a happy little soul and only cries when she's unwell. If you want to have a routine then there is no harm in trying.

[Whatgives]

My kids have all loved routines even with breastfeeding. I think they suit certain babies but not all.

My 8 week old has fell into his own routine so I have went with it, and he sleep 9hrs a night straight through wakes for a feed then sleeps another 2 hours.

So we're in a routine and have been for weeks but it was dictate by him.

[Acardwithbigletters]

The OP said he was feeding 9-7 with feeds

[Acardwithbigletters]

Sleeping!!

[DorothyHarris]

Another one here to suggest a good routine they work wonders when you find the right one. When mine were tiny I'd do the same as napqueen-feed every 3 hours at least, change then sleep/walk in the pram etc. All 3 of mine were better for it. I would feed then if they wanted it more regularly but every 3 hours at a minimum.
All I will say is a good routine is a commitment you have to be consistent. People who say routines aren't good always make me a bit babies need to know what's happening next particularly of or their bedtime routine.
I would keep doing what you're doing and listening to your baby-ignore the HV.

[DowntonDiva]

"Routine" at 6 weeks for me here. More for my sanity and giving myself a structure than anything else. Feed every 3 hours, waking baby if needed. Bath time routine which was ridiculous really as DD had no clue what's going on but I liked having a evening structure. She's now 6 months and we follow the same evening routine and she is pretty consistent.

If you feel you need it go for it. Ignore the HV just nod and smile. Your baby your way.

[kiki22]

Thank you for all the replies. We have been in a 3 hour cycle of eat active sleep since wed morning and already I'm seeing a difference, much happier during the day being put down for a sleep instead of sleeping as and when he even managed a 7 hour stretch of sleep from 7-2 last night. Hes currently on his second nap of the day and I'm getting the house work done and some peace

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

I don't think you can really get a routine going when they're so young, but you can try and mitigate the risk of baby wanting a feed during the school run by feeding early round that time. It won't work all the time but he is only six weeks old!

Congrats on your new baby, I'm so jealous!