aibu schedule for 6 week old?

[kiki22]

Ds2 is a good sleeper however during the day he really needs quiet to sleep as a result of not getting the quiet he is becoming over tired crying lots and his night time sleep is suffering. I know its over tiredness as on days we are home and he sleeps soundly he sleeps well at night sleeping 8-7 only waking to feed days we have been out he wakes up frequently with no reason.

I mentioned to the hv that I felt I needed to start a schedule for his feeds and sleep as hes a bit all over the place, she made me feel like a terrible mum told me he was far to young to be running to my schedule to suit my needs. I did say I mean more of a routine than a schedule and its for all of us not to suit myself but she says it can be damaging for baby's not to follow them.

AIBU thinking I should be able to get him in to a routine over the next few weeks to help him settle and be happier or do I need to just grin and bare it? DS1 was similar he needed a routine but since he was an only I was able to go along with him for longer.

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

I don't think you can really get a routine going when they're so young, but you can try and mitigate the risk of baby wanting a feed during the school run by feeding early round that time. It won't work all the time but he is only six weeks old!

Congrats on your new baby, I'm so jealous!

[kiki22]

Thank you for all the replies. We have been in a 3 hour cycle of eat active sleep since wed morning and already I'm seeing a difference, much happier during the day being put down for a sleep instead of sleeping as and when he even managed a 7 hour stretch of sleep from 7-2 last night. Hes currently on his second nap of the day and I'm getting the house work done and some peace

[DowntonDiva]

"Routine" at 6 weeks for me here. More for my sanity and giving myself a structure than anything else. Feed every 3 hours, waking baby if needed. Bath time routine which was ridiculous really as DD had no clue what's going on but I liked having a evening structure. She's now 6 months and we follow the same evening routine and she is pretty consistent.

If you feel you need it go for it. Ignore the HV just nod and smile. Your baby your way.

[DorothyHarris]

Another one here to suggest a good routine they work wonders when you find the right one. When mine were tiny I'd do the same as napqueen-feed every 3 hours at least, change then sleep/walk in the pram etc. All 3 of mine were better for it. I would feed then if they wanted it more regularly but every 3 hours at a minimum.
All I will say is a good routine is a commitment you have to be consistent. People who say routines aren't good always make me a bit babies need to know what's happening next particularly of or their bedtime routine.
I would keep doing what you're doing and listening to your baby-ignore the HV.

[Acardwithbigletters]

Sleeping!!

[Acardwithbigletters]

The OP said he was feeding 9-7 with feeds

[Whatgives]

My kids have all loved routines even with breastfeeding. I think they suit certain babies but not all.

My 8 week old has fell into his own routine so I have went with it, and he sleep 9hrs a night straight through wakes for a feed then sleeps another 2 hours.

So we're in a routine and have been for weeks but it was dictate by him.

[RNBrie]

Three dc here and all three in a routine as babies. Dc3 is three months old now, ebf, and we started at two weeks old. She's never left to cry or goes hungry, she's fed every three hrs during the day and sleeps 6.30-6.30 with a feed at 10pm which I wake her for.

She's a happy little soul and only cries when she's unwell. If you want to have a routine then there is no harm in trying.

[coconutpie]

Are you breastfeeding? Six weeks is far too young for a routine. If he's sleeping 8-7, then no wonder he's feeding all day long! He should be fed on demand, rather than every 3 hours.

[Lazyafternoon]

I started a routine with DS at about 6 weeks! It definitely suited me/DS.

I was struggling with BF and just generally getting a bit overwhelmed. He was waking 4-5 times a night and taking all evening to settle so I was absolutely exhausted too. It was a friend who talked about the Baby Whisperer. Half of it was twaddle (IMO) but the idea of a general routine you gradually tweak as time goes on made sense to me! So I started a loose sort of sleep - eat - activity - sleep routine during the day and a bedtime routine of bath, milk, song/nursery rhyme, bed. Feeds after babys bedtime were all in the dark and very quiet and calm, no talking, playing etc.

It made me feel a lot better by having some sort of structure to MY day and an idea of what happens next and being ready. It took a while, but by 4 months he was pretty reliably great at going to sleep at bedtime. We could do bedtime routine, pop him in his cot and he'd go to sleep! He still woke in the night for a long time, but at least we go our evenings back and could eat dinner and I actually had a bit of time with DH :-)

At almost 3 years old DS is still amazing at going to bed. Personally, and subjectively, I think it's down to starting a bedtime routine early and sticking to it fairly strictly every day over the months/ years, just very gradually tweaking things like bottles for beakers and milk before rather after bath as they get older.

[MrsSparkles]

I think if you leave it a few weeks you might find they naturally fall into a routine, around dc1! I always fed dd2 just before the school run ( no matter what time she'd fed before).

I'd also say don't be afraid to leave them dc2 grumbling for a bit (not full out screaming) so dc1 can have some attention. I also have 1 at school, 1 now 4 months And a dh who's usually out 14 hours a day, and sometimes the baby has to wait.

It's still v early days, but by all means give it a go.

[QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins]

YANBU
I didnt know what the fuck I was doing with my first baby and thought I was going to have a breakdown and I was a bad mother until I discovered Gina Ford and routine. DS1 LOVED being in a routine (and still likes to know what is going to happen aged 8).

HOWEVER DD1 hated being in a routine and refused to read Gina Ford and conform, luckily as second child I knew a little more about babies and so just let her go with the flow.

Different methods work with different children. My advice is to try a routine and see how it works for you and your child, don't expect it to all fall into place in 1 day but if it isn't working for you within a couple of weeks then try something else. Good Luck.

[Christinedonna]

I'm not sure it is too early for a routine? My DD is 7 weeks old tomorrow and has been sleeping through the night since she was born. For the first week she woke up for a bottle but ever since has slept straight through! her last bottle is at 9pm and her first of the day is at 7am. She naps during the day and loves bath time..I realise I am EXTREMELY lucky but a routine is not impossible. If you have the time and patience to dedicate to trying then good on you!

[MrsKoala]

My sleep consultant reckons dc3 needs to be in a routine at 10 days old. I have no idea how she thinks this will happen, but she is saying I can feed at 5.30pm and the baby will sleep 6.30-8.30 so I can do bath, books, bed with my 4 and 2yo. I think she is living on another planet, but I'm going to have to try as I have no other options.

[milkyface]

Agree with nap queen. My ds is the same. Routine suited him.

He's fed every three hours like clockwork since about day 3.

He's sleep through since about 12 weeks.

If he cried for food before three hours I feed him obviously but it's nit often it happens.

Routine is not damaging. Sure it doesn't work for everyone, but it's those who didn't get on with it saying your baby us far too young. I disagree.

[Crazycatladyloz82]

DD went into a routine at 3 weeks and it was never a struggle, we were lucky, she did exactly what the book said routine wise at every stage. It worked for us and made my life happier as I knew when I could sleep, go out etc. She is a fabulous sleeper and loves a lunchtime nap still. Do what is right for you. Some mothers love a routine and it works for them whilst others prefer flexibility

[fc301]

Goodness! How well does the HV know your DS?!!
Do what you think and feel and know to be right for your children.
All the other posters are trying to help but what their children do is not necessarily relevant.

[Dontyouopenthattrapdoor]

A gentle, "lets aim for this" type routine totally worked for us both times too. And kept me sane. Give it a go; see how it works but you're absolutely not harming him; what a ridiculous and unprofessional thing for her to have said.

[danTDM]

I completely 100% go with NapQueen. It worked for me, my DD is still a fantastic sleeper and eater now at 8, and I am sure it is because of her baby routine, which lucky, she loved.

[Acardwithbigletters]

My son is 7 months yet and I can't get him into a daytime routine at all, he does what he wants. Tbh I feel much better now I've stopped trying!

I think 6 weeks is way too young for a routine personally. If overtiredness is an issue try dark rooms, swaddle, white noise, dummy, not too much stimulation.

[kiki22]

No my health visitor is not a mum. So far since yesterday I have fed him every 3 hours-ish (unless he cried) then made sure he sleeps for at least an hour and we have had no crying and a good night sleep. If it keeps up I should have an hour between 4-5 for homework and dinner.

happyinlondon the panic seems to be what happens to him he sleeps past a feed then freaks out.

[Ohyesiam]

Sound s like you just want to move it around a bit so that it works for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. It seems to me that second and subsequent kids are happie for having to fit round family life a bit. I bf both mine and it all worked out in the end, mind you, it always seemed to me that just as I decided that a particular approach/ routine worked for my baby, they send to change on to a new one. It's all about going through phases with babies.

But yes, a loving nudge in the right direction could be good.
Is your health visitor a mum?

[MazeMap]

Mine resisted routines until about 10months. I BF on demand in baby carrier until around 6months, he liked feeding on the move and was happiest sleeping/feeding on my chest.

[Borntorunfast]

I'm afraid that juggle between the kids is how it is now- life with two is hard. They always want all your attention at the same time. By all means try a routine. You might be lucky. I tried my hardest with both of mine but they woke often and slept rarely! And my littlest always demanded a feed at the most inopportune moments... Worse with my second, but she was an unusually difficult baby (a lovely girl now though ).

[HappyInL0nd0n]

Completely second what NapQueen said in her first post.

We had a very similar experience. Not once did we withhold food from our baby or ignore crying, we just woke her up for a feed every 3 hours at the beginning. When we left her longer (sometimes, she would cheerfully sleep for 4 and a half or even 5 hours during the day), she would wake up hungry and panicking. She would then become so hysterical, she wouldn't feed properly - gulping, too much wind, etc. It could take an hour or so to calm her down.

A routine suited her and us very well. She's a great little sleeper which I know is not down to the routine, it's just a lucky break we got, but the routine definitely helped her to understand what was going to happen when, and both she and I benefited hugely from that predictability. She's a gorgeous little smiler these days (6 months) and we're happy.

No one needs to try it who doesn't want to, but by the same token, no one should feel the need to tear others down for trying something which works for many.