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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not allow ds (aged 6) to drink COFFEE at school

119 replies

MrsMills · 07/02/2007 11:08

They now have a drinks table which they are allowed to use on an afternoon and have been shown how to make coffee (filtered). His preffered choice is milky with sugar apparently. This had been going on for aobut 2 weeks as far as I know and I was not asked if it would be o.k..

I need to go and see for myself what they are doing, but the other parents I have spoken to seem fine about it.

I however cannot believe they are giving him coffee. Bear in mind that this is the same school who told me off for putting 6 pringle crisps in his lunchbox thread here .

Arrrgh I don't even know where to start!

OP posts:

lissielou · 08/02/2007 07:27

i give ds a v weak cup of de-caff every morning, its part of his get up routine. hes 22m, he doesnt have chocolate, crisps or sweets, so the only sugar he has are naturally in food or the 1 sugar in his coffee.

unfortunately tho thousands of los eat mcdonalds on a regular basis or eat too many snacks etc, but its the parents choice, and the parent who has to live with a hyperactive child. the school is wrong to have done this without your permission, you should speak to them

wheresthehamster · 08/02/2007 08:20

It's the thought of supervising 30 6 yr olds with a HOT drink thats doing my head in.

My class can't drink water without spilling it.

SSShakeTheChi · 08/02/2007 09:04

actually what motivated me to give up coffee was the connection to mental illness I read about on some American Psychiatriac site. Dunno anymore where I found it though. It is definitely a drug that makes you dependent so I don't see why anyone would want their dc to drink even small amounts of it. Weird things happen.

I gave it up cold turkey and it was awful for 7 days but I'd been drinking maybe 5 cups of strong filtered coffee a day. Felt heaps better without it once the withdrawal symptoms were past.

However, I slipped back into it and I'm giving it up now but less radically, reducing it 2 cups a day and then soon zero I hope. Perhaps that's why I feel so strongly about giving it to dc.

Mind you I don't know if those giving their dc coffee mean just powdered instant coffee which is nowhere near as strong as the filtered coffee I drink.

TenaLady · 08/02/2007 14:43

NQC

Yes cake and stuff but mostly I make it at home which means it has the least amount you can get away with when cooking it.

I dont like sugar on cereals or in drinks because they already have enought in food such as cakes, biscuits why give any more than required.

Heathcliffscathy · 08/02/2007 14:46

decaf is in no way caffeine free.

i think it is outrageous and actually just surreal that they think this is ok!

TenaLady · 08/02/2007 14:47

Soph, how does decaf compare with the content of caffienated. Any idea?

BalletMum · 08/02/2007 14:55

As a teacher myself I am shocked that he/she is being given coffee. Not to mention the fact that that they are using hot water etc. Before you say anything to his teacher I would make sure you have the facts right.....you would not believe how often parents are told something completely bizarre!!!!! As a parent I would go mad!!!! mostly with regards to the sugar!!!

sar123 · 08/02/2007 14:58

a nutritionist told me decaf is oftentimes worse than caffeine on account of the nasty chemicals they use to decaffeinate the beans. So her advice was either drink a little of good organic caffeinated coffee or if you have decaf make sure it is chemical free. it should say Swiss water process or C02 on the label.

NotQuiteCockney · 09/02/2007 06:54

Decaf has about 10% of the caffeine of regular coffee, iirc.

And yeah, there are issues with the chemicals used to remove the caffeine.

Fillyjonk · 09/02/2007 09:05

oh dear

don't think kids should really be encouraged to drink coffe really but decaff...I mean at 6...they have caffeine in chocolate after all and a lot of its about being grown up and stuff...can't get too excited

BUT my 18 mo tries to steal my coffee. . have had to switch to decaff when she's around.

BTW i gave up caffeine (ex chocolate) while pg and bf up to a year

DumbledoresGirl · 09/02/2007 09:16

Oh dear. Another of my failings as a mother has been exposed.

My 10 y o son discovered coffee (well cappuccino actually) on school camp in October. He has never drunk any hot drinks before and is even going off drinking milk, so I was actually pleased that he had discovered something new. I encouraged him by buying him cappuccino powder, let him add hot chocolate powder to the top, and then watched in amazement as his 9 y o brother, who is quite a fussy eater (drinks only water and milk) got in on the act too.

I have to say, it lasted several weeks. They each had a cappuccino in the mornng or after school (only one a day though - but that restriction was imposed only because of cost). The fad has worn off now and the latest cappuccino packet sits in the cupboard unopened, but I was happy while it lasted.

I shouldn't be here should I? I should be in that bad mothers' club.

Original poster

MrsMills · 09/02/2007 09:17

o.k. this is what happened - I went to pick him up and asked him to show me the coffee making area. There's a small filter machine (quite cute actually), with all the paraphernalia next to it. I asked his teacher about the coffee they were drinking and she laughed embarrasingly.

So they were showing them how to make coffee to offer to guests and visitors (his school has an open policy and you can go in at any time to see what they are doing, and join in if you really want). DS and his friends also took to making their own to which the teacher had said, 'oh erm I don't think you should be doing that,' but never actually stopped them (they hate confrontation ime).

So I have scared the life out of all of them by explaining to the children and the teachers what may happen if they continue being allowed to drink coffee, my son won't be having it again,but I can't speak for the other children.

So maybe it wasn't as bad as i first thought, but it still amazes me how the other parents responded when i asked them.

OP posts:

SSShakeTheChi · 09/02/2007 09:22

Those Swedish schools sound great! Love the way you can drop in and get served a coffee by the dc, isn't that sweet?

Glad it went well. Perhaps the Swedish parents were less fazed because they don't mind their dc having the odd coffee anyway. Or is it maybe a Swedish thing not to get too worked up about things anyway?

Well done tackling it though!

DumbledoresGirl · 09/02/2007 09:23

The idea of them with hot water bothers me and the prinicple that they are making drinks for visitors (IMO, children go to school to do their lessons) and the hypocrisy of the school criticising you for putting pringles in his lunchbox would enrage me, but the coffee per se, the caffeine, the sugar, etc does not bother me one jot.

Original poster

MrsMills · 09/02/2007 09:34

Ah but learning to make coffee and learning not to give yourself 3rd degree burns is a life lessons. I'm not defending the school, far from it, however I don't feel as aggrieved now. 'Real' school doesn't start until they are 7, so his days are less structured anyhow, so that isn't a problem, but the hot water does bother me.

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SSShakeTheChi · 09/02/2007 09:42

What boiling water would this be though? I mean they're making filtered coffee so they're pouring cold water into the coffee machine, placing filter paper and coffee in the container and switching it on. Do you mean they're pouring out the hot coffee?

Original poster

MrsMills · 09/02/2007 09:48

Yes, they pour it out. I'm sure it wil be in the presence of an adult but it's all a bit, you know, can't think of the word, wishy washy, no, erm, well there are no strict guidelines they adhere to iykwim.

I will go over the safety thing again with DS over the weekend, at least make sure HE is aware of the dangers.

Oh I could tell you some stuff that would put hair on your chests ( for those that don't already have any)

OP posts:

FioFio · 09/02/2007 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

missingmywine · 09/02/2007 09:54

Oh dear - my 2 yr old loooveees coffee, the basic filter coffee with milk and has a hissy fit it I don't let her have a few sips. {hangs head in shame......)

SSShakeTheChi · 09/02/2007 09:54

Oh I want to hear those stories! But I don't need hair on my chest! Could it go on my head instead?!

malaleche · 09/02/2007 09:58

Haven't read whole thread but think it is totally wrong to give children coffee. Full stop.

Original poster

MrsMills · 09/02/2007 09:58

O.K., the school is in a woods besides a beach and a lake. One afternoon they went fishing (a teaching assistant and 6 boys). DS1 decided he wanted to explore to wandered off and tried to clim up a small ciff and got himself stuck half way up. Took an hour for them to get him down.

This was mentioned to me the next day.

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SSShakeTheChi · 09/02/2007 10:01

eek. I'm such an over-protective mother, I'd be prowling the grounds in disguise all day, carrying a safety net!

And I thought the Germans were a bit overkeen with this making kids independent thing. The Swedish seem to be way in front of the Germans. OMG letting a 6 year old wander off in the woods by himself...

lou33 · 09/02/2007 10:01

no to coffee, i dont drink it myself but 6 is way too young for it imo

dd1 is almost 15 and she drinks it, but she wasnt allowed until she was about 13!

my others, aged 10, 8 and almost 6, dont drink tea or coffee

Original poster

MrsMills · 09/02/2007 10:02

He was 5 at the time

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