to think children shouldn't play on a park's war memorial?

[OrdinaryGirl]

Just that really. We have a small park round the corner from us. In the middle is a beautiful memorial to the fallen - a column with little steps up to it and a statue of a running infantry soldier on top.

Yesterday three children were there with a lady, and they were chasing each other round the top step, and jumping over the poppy wreaths, occasionally stumbling and accidentally kicking them out of place. The lady was just watching them and smiling.

I felt really hot and uncomfortable as I don't even sit on the bottom step quietly to eat a sandwich, although a lot of people do. It felt like the children were being allowed to behave ignorantly and disrespectfully. I didn't know whether to say something.

I got to thinking - should these war memorials be treated as a special part of the park furniture? To be used and sat on and played on, because that's what the people in WW1 & WW2 who died believed they were fighting for - the right for people to get on living their lives peacefully.

Or should they be sacred, something you don't touch or sit on?

I'm inclined to the latter but would like to hear the thoughts of the hive mind, especially as we approach Remembrance Day.

So - AIBU?

I think the fact kids are free to run and play is exactly the sort of memorial that shows the people who died in war did it for a reason.

No, no it isn't. Some of these men have no graves for their families to visit so the war memorial is the only place they can go. Would you like to visit a loved one's resting place and see children climbing and playing all over it?

Kids playing near them - nice
Kids playing on them - disrespectful

This

TheFairyCaravan spot on

In my youth I would have been very po faced about this. But then I took a job which meant I was working with many WW2 veterans and Holocaust survivors, and even at the time a couple of WW1 veterans. I can't think of any one of those many people I worked with, who wouldn't have watched the children playing with a smile on their face. The wreaths are a different matter but the memorial itself is fine.

IMO I should add. I'm not a veteran! And I don't think it means there's a lack of respect. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

This link is to the War Memorials Trust's fact sheet on the "Importance of War Memorials". The Trust also point out another side - that not only are War Memorials a "focal point for remembrance" but are also "important to the country’s architectural and artistic heritage" and as such War Memorials are collectively a "huge public art project". www.warmemorials.org/uploads/publications/64.pdf

This heritage has to last for future generations, and children WILL erode war memorials, no matter how "careful" parents are. And a I speak as a mother and granny who has never let any of mine play on War Memorials. Mine certainly haven't suffered from my stance! Plenty of other places for them to play.

I have the utmost respect for those who serve their country , especially those who are injured or lose their lives, and their families .

That doesn't mean I agree with some of the political decisions made by various British governments and how and why they have conducted wars .

These are two completely different things . It's perfectly possible to be pacifist or anti war and still show respect to individuals who have served.

*I have the utmost respect for those who serve their country , especially those who are injured or lose their lives, and their families .

That doesn't mean I agree with some of the political decisions made by various British governments and how and why they have conducted wars .

These are two completely different things . It's perfectly possible to be pacifist or anti war and still show respect to individuals who have served.*
This, word for word, is perfectly put. I hate war, I hate violence, but I'm also bloody proud of DP and DBIL, they were sent to hell and somehow managed to come back. They lost friends, DBIL still suffers terribly with PTSD to this day, and I've heard some of what they went through and it makes me weep.

Watch veterans at an Armistice Day parade. See how they stand to attention and pay their respects at the war memorials all around the country and remember all those who dud not come home. And then ask if expecting the rest of the population to pay just the smallest respect is really so difficult

^This. I have been present at many ceremonies and parades, and watched veterans being helped out of their wheelchairs so that they can stand to attention to respect their fallen comrades. If they can show respect, so can the rest of us. And children playing on war memorials is disrespectful.

Agnes I don't mean to ask questions but that link says names could only be on one memorial or that is how I read it.

My school had a memorial for former pupils, I always assumed their names would also be on the towns memorial too. Would they have been?

I think they could be on the town one and on others too. There's one up at the Black Watch museum in Perth for the Iraq fallen (friends of DP, he did two tours) and I think they're commemorated in their home towns as well.

My school had a memorial for former pupils, I always assumed their names would also be on the towns memorial too. Would they have been?

Men can be on more than one memorial - or even on none at all. Many local towns and villages are still adding names of "forgotten" fallen on to their memorials even today. If there is someone missing from your own local war memorial, it is worth googling to see if anyone in your area are co-coordinating adding names.

Every single War Committee (or organisation at that time) operated in different ways when drawing up their own lists. Some relied on next of kin informing them, others had their own methods of collecting information. There was no "central database" type of approach - it all appears to have been relatively haphazard.

I have been very surprised to see which War Memorials my own ancestors have been commemorated on - one ancestor is one at least four memorials. Two years ago, at the centenary of the First World War, I found out his name is commemorated on the Essex Fire Brigade's memorial. Until they tweeted pictures of their commemorations I hadn't even known my ancestor had been a (voluntary) fireman! He is also on two town memorials; the place he grow up in North Essex, and the place he lived in in Suffolk. His name is also on the local church's Roll of Honour plaque.

The reason he is on the memorial from the North Essex town where he grow up is purely because his father submitted his name (and sadly also his brother's) to the War Committee in charge of that town's memorial.

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful, considered responses.
It seems the majority of you feel that I'm not BU and it's more appropriate for children to play near but not on a war memorial.

Those who felt that those who died would have smiled to have children playing near where they're commemorated, I feel like that a little too. And I also understand how disturbing it could be for those whose loved ones were never found.

To those of you in the Services, or who have family members in the services, and those who have lost cherished people in conflict, I am thinking of you especially.

Just wanted to stress, the children were only accidentally knocking the wreaths as they jumped over them -^ if it had been deliberate,^ they would've been flattened by the turbulence of a Mumsnetter-driven twin pram bearing down on them as I charged over to register my disapproval.

Anyway, as lovely as it would be to have a little fence erected around it, I suspect the local authority is more concerned with the park's mid-morning muggings, mild fly-tipping and near constant substance abuse that is the backdrop to my Pokémon Go playing.

Thank you again for taking the time to comment on this.