to think children shouldn't play on a park's war memorial?

[OrdinaryGirl]

Just that really. We have a small park round the corner from us. In the middle is a beautiful memorial to the fallen - a column with little steps up to it and a statue of a running infantry soldier on top.

Yesterday three children were there with a lady, and they were chasing each other round the top step, and jumping over the poppy wreaths, occasionally stumbling and accidentally kicking them out of place. The lady was just watching them and smiling.

I felt really hot and uncomfortable as I don't even sit on the bottom step quietly to eat a sandwich, although a lot of people do. It felt like the children were being allowed to behave ignorantly and disrespectfully. I didn't know whether to say something.

I got to thinking - should these war memorials be treated as a special part of the park furniture? To be used and sat on and played on, because that's what the people in WW1 & WW2 who died believed they were fighting for - the right for people to get on living their lives peacefully.

Or should they be sacred, something you don't touch or sit on?

I'm inclined to the latter but would like to hear the thoughts of the hive mind, especially as we approach Remembrance Day.

So - AIBU?

I agree

Not everything is a climbing frame some things need to be respected and there is no harm in teaching children this from a young age before they can understand what the memorial is about

My ds started to climb on the Canadian soldiers memorial at Green Park I told him not to and explained why of course he rolled his eyes as it looked fun in time he will understand why.

Other parents didn't see the problem or just didn't care what it was their children were having a good time and that's all that mattered

Playing on the memorial is fine in my book. Kicking wreaths around is not.

My DH and are service personnel. our toddler has visited a lot of war memorials and flanders cemeteries. She has run around the columns, but she's only little - that's already being phased out as she gets older. She hasn't disturbed wreaths. She has taken to saying "hello war dead" when she passes the memorial in our village.

It's all in the attitude, if there's respect then a little child can scamper. If there's negligent levels of respect or a much older child playing raucously then it's not on.

But people have odd attitudes. When we visited my great grandfather's grave in flanders we sat by his stone talking about him and eating croissants in the sunshine. Some people thought that picnicking beside my ancestor was disrespectful, which I thought daft.

t4 left wing people are still waiting for you to say what areas of London are no gos and why you think that on the other thread.

Are you 12 or something? Make a controversial post and then sit their giggling.

You may not be a troll t4 but you are acting like a complete and utter cunt.

MycatsaPirate absolutely spot on!

Interesting. I was going to say, fine to play on the steps, but no climbing or kicking of wreaths, but this thread has changed my mind a little, I hadn't thought about erosion.

And FYI t4nut I've never once said/sung God save the Queen, she ain't my queen as far as I'm concerned. However I fully respect other people's right to. I am respectful of the war dead because I'm grateful, I'm proud of both my Grandads for serving in WWII, I'm proud of DP and DBIL, and I feel very strongly that the sacrifices paid mean that I owe the freedoms I enjoy daily to the men who died in the trenches and on the beaches. For the record, I'm a pacifist, I hate war, I'm also left wing. I'm just not a disrespectful, self satisfied fucking idiot. When you say you're a republican, do you mean Irish?

I'm so bloody glad I've been out and missed t4nut's comments.

My incredibly intelligent DS1 is in the army. Last year he spent Christmas up to his neck on flood water. I wish there was a database for people like t4nut who don't support the military, so when there are floods, or the fire brigade or ambulance service go on strike the military could tell them to get stuffed!

Now that T4's posts have been removed, time to carry on a sensible conversation about war memorials.

I do agree that War Memorials (particularly the smaller, more fragile ones) should be "roped off" in some way - iron-chain sort of thing. However, in these cash-strapped times, councils and local authorities often take a blinkered view to this type of conservation and use the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" approach. Which is very short sighted because the memorials do get damaged and then cost a vast sum of money to be repaired. I've recently been researching one town's war memorial which cost the local council £50,000 to repair in 2010 because it was in such a bad state.

I'm glad they've been removed! Our local council just built a new memorial garden around the memorial for the centenary of the Somme. It's beautiful, and very peaceful. It's within a play park, but over beside the trees.

Has anyone randomly stopped to read a war memorial?
A few months age DC 5 was curious "what does it say?" For the first time ever I found myself reading a War Memorial. I hadn't realised that nurses were honoured on them too

Our village war memorial is in a little gated garden which is lovingly tended. There is a bench in there for people who might want a quiet sit down.

Definitely no climbing or playing. We also had a lottery grant to restore it a few years ago.

Nurses were also killed during the First World War - they nursed under extreme danger in all theatres of the war. During the summer I visited Etaples military cemetery and visited the graves of several nurses who were killed in action during a German air raid on hospitals in the Etaples area in 1918.

The names of the people commemorated on each War Memorial vary according to the "rules" of each individual War Memorial committees. Although, these weren't so much "rules", more "what tended to happen". So if there was a local nurses who had been killed in action, or who died of wounds, then it is possible the local War Committee would have included their name on their local memorial (dependent on the wishes of their next of kin).

MrEBear I read them when we pass, I feel like I should if that makes sense. There's one in the borders which mentions the animals killed in conflict too.

I love the Diana memorial fountain because even though I wasn't a fan of hers she would have loved the children playing and splashing around. Which makes me wonder.

But it was a different time and Agnes is right that these are akin to graves since so many people didn't get to come home, even after death.

I certainly wouldn't expect everyone to feel as I do though. Since I'm quite torn. However, the poppies being kicked around is pretty horrible.

Much the same as PPs really .

I imagine the deceased would be pleased that children are running around .. but also agree the fact the wreaths were disturbed and not replaced is just plain wrong really

Our village memorial is in a garden. Ds likes going in there because it is quieter than the playground but he just wanders about, looking at the plants and trying out the benches. I don't let him on the memorial.

I love the Diana memorial fountain because even though I wasn't a fan of hers she would have loved the children playing and splashing around. Which makes me wonder. But it was a different time and Agnes is right that these are akin to graves since so many people didn't get to come home, even after death. I certainly wouldn't expect everyone to feel as I do though. Since I'm quite torn. However, the poppies being kicked around is pretty horrible

This is where I see that there is another problem with allowing children to play on War Memorials. If a child is on a memorial, you simply don't know who is around and who would find a child playing on it totally disrespectful. I've photographed vast numbers of War Memorials (and graves in France/Belgium). I am always utterly respectful. I don't move the wreathes and never step onto the memorials - even if that would make a far superior photograph! Not only because I am respecting the dead but also because of respecting the views of any descendants who might just be taking a stroll out that day to look at their ancestor's War Memorial (a surprisingly large number of descendants do still pay their respects). I am respectful to both the dead and living.

Diana's memorial is totally different - partly because we know for absolute sure that she would have loved to have witnessed the children playing on her memorial. This is not the case with War Memorials. The people who built and paid for the War Memorials would be absolutely horrified.

T4 I am a passivist and find the thought of people choosing to join up difficult. But the men that died had little or no choice. They were conscripted and also were fighting an immediate threat to our countries safety.

I teach my kids to respect others even if they hold different views. We are atheists but they know not to diss others for being spiritual.

They also are expected to be polite even when provoked. For example if they met you and found you to be a rude twat that appeared to enjoy offending others I would still expect them to not rise to it.

I am a passivist and find the thought of people choosing to join up difficult.

I bet you wouldn't find it difficult for a member of the armed forces to put a fire out in your house if the fire service were on strike, or drive the ambulance to hospital if your kids were ill because the ambulance service were striking.

I'd wager if you had been affected by the floods last Christmas you'd have been relieved to have seen my son and his colleagues turn up instead of being at home with their families.

When Pokeman was all the rage in the summer, there was huge uproar on a town's facebook page about people showing a total lack of respect to the local war memorial in a church yard.
This wasn't children but teenagers and adults sitting and eating lunch on the steps of the memorial and 9/10 leaving their rubbish behind.
I too felt that it showed a total sign of disrespect, I think most only see it as a bench. Too stuck in their own little worlds to actually take notice of what it actually is and too lazy to use one of the many proper benches near by.

I think the fact kids are free to run and play is exactly the sort of memorial that shows the people who died in war did it for a reason. They should have been careful around the poppies though.

We and our tour guide in the Somme Battlefields were not impressed with the coach party of kids that had all climbed onto a huge memorial to eat their lunch. You'd have thought thei teacher would have said something!
I think kids should be taught to not climb on these memorials.