AIBU...to be so done with people’s ‘cryptic’ social media statuses?

[IHeartHoumous]

AIBU...to be so done with people’s ‘cryptic’ social media statuses along the lines of:

“Someone made a serious mistake today! Fuming!”
“Just so fed up with it all”
“Hates liars”
“Let down again!”

Cue the nosey taskforce – probably just what the status owner wants – commenting asking what’s up, followed by “I’ll inbox you”! We all get fed up, let down etc but isn’t that what a phone is for? To call/text friends or family to vent, not be all ‘mysterious’ over social media?

Any social anthropologists out there that can shed any light on why people do this? A feeling of being lonely/needing attention maybe, even though they often have hundreds of social media ‘friends’?

VagueBooking is not always for attention. I use Fb in a very personal way, I have about 50 'friends'. They are in 5 countries and I am close to them in various aspects of my life. I occasionally post something only 5-6 of the 50 will understand. I don't post it for all the others to ask if I am all right or to inbox me. I do it because I don't want to write 5-6 separate emails when a five--word post will do. Those who do not understand are welcome to ignore it, it wasn't for them.

Thinking of my friends who go in for the aphorisms/positive thinking memes, it isn't the ones who are happy or successful.

I don't have FB so what is a "hospital check-in" ?

You can set a status so only certain people can see it....

Well, you know who your real friends are at times like this....

Sorry, I appear to have slipped into vaguebooking hun-mode.

A 'friends' mum died suddenly and unexpectedly and I was shocked to see funeral selfies on my newsfeed before the wake was finished.

Crunchymum you can check in at places by typing in your location so the Facebook status would say something like, for instance, "MadisonAvenue is at QE Hospital" but vaguely people don't say why, leaving it wide open for the "OMG hun r u ok? Inbox me babes" comments.

What grates on me more than the attention seeking twats is forever fucking living and the fantabulous lifestyle you'll live once you've got mindless minions selling it for you!

bippity my attention seeking hun neighbour also sells Forever Living.
Double fucking whammy!

I like to imagine this kind of attention seeking bollocks goes away with age. Not in all cases obviously, but hopefully most.

My fucking word. I have a few that do this.

Worst is my sil.

500 memes about how she deserves more that what she gets, people don't deserve her, karma will get you, you'll be sorry etc etc.

Then "I'm so shocked and hurt."

"What's wrong Hun?"

"Can't say Hun."

"We're all thinking of you Hun."

Que the next few days-

"So glad SOME people can be bothered and care. I'll remember who answered my call for help and who didn't."

And repeat every couple of weeks

Our family has literally been through hell the last three weeks with terminal diagnosis, a horrific death and a shock, long term job redundancy and my sil has made the biggest fucking deal over getting a bad review for her business on Facebook.

I know she's young and it's all relative etc but Jesus Christ it makes me want to grab her by the pubic hair and give her a good, hard headbutt.

I'm laughing at so many of these. Glad it's not just me who knows these people (fwiw, not on fb but am exposed to it repeatedly by friends/colleagues who show me stuff).

I've definitely seen the "U ok hun, inbox me plz xxx " and "thinking of ya, chick" ones.

Best worst one I've seen:

"If you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". Is this not something a serial killer would say?

Also the life affirming quotes:
"Be the best you can...live the life you love... laugh like you're a deranged clown".. or some shit along those lines

I went in to hospital for a burst ovarian cyst and dh felt guilty (I think. Giving him the benefit of the doubt) that I had to go on my own and take 2 year old ds with me too so put up a vague 'poor dw needs our support in the hospital today and I'm sorry I can't be with her and feel so bad' Facebook post.

If I hadn't been incapacitated with pain I would have removed his ballsack for him to 'help' him empathise.

My niece always posts things about missing people that are in heaven. The strange thing is that nobody in our family has died for about 16 years and she wasn't old enough to remember them anyway!

I have one friend that constantly shares all these inspirational quotes and memes all the time, like about 20 a day. She's lovely but I've had to unfollow her.

A bit off topic but I have a friend (not at all young) who posts lots and lots of photos of young male ballet dancers in very tight tights.....because they're so keen on ballet, of course. Pervy.
As well as that, I get all the usual cancer stuff as well as one friend who does the 'feeling blessed/unhappy/let down ' bollocks. I ignore it all.
but i post photos of pornographic veg

I have few friends posting esoteric bollocks and stuff about guardian angels etc. I usually add my comment to it, just for fun. My friends know what my opinions are and are ok with that, I'm probably increasing their popularity amongst their like-minded friends who are sending lots of positive energy and reshaking her chakras to counterbalance her negative friend. I only unfriend xenophobes, fortunately have no friends peddling shite like Forever Living.

I am guilty of the self-pity stuff today and posted a status about feeling shite taking some killer antibiotics plus steroids at the mom which make me feel like I want to creep into a dark corner and not move for the next week which I just can't right now. Felt good to vent but it was the first time I think.
I have a friend though who kept posting about having a migraine every day. Then she got a job after 16 years of being a SAHM and started posting whining statuses about having to juggle work and household and how she has to spend the whole Friday afternoon cleaning the house instead of relaxing. When we asked why her 17y old daughter and 13 year old son can't do it for her, she got pissed off because we were spoiling her self-martyrdom.
Another one was posting lots of life and people are shite just because that's her attitude to life in general. I can imagine her IRL getting up from her bed, looking around and deciding today's going to be another shitty day full of stupid people. She's a doctor and transferred her "god in a white coat" attitude to all things in life. As a result she unfriended me after I, once again, disagreed with her. She believes her sons shit golden nuggets but her quiet and very kind daughter is dumb and was surprised when she did an IQ test with an above average result, posting on FB how she believes those tests are scam because she knows her child and no way she's that smart.

Btw, I am also ready to strangle any boy who hurts my daughter with my bare hands. But I'm keeping that for a F2F conversation when she starts dating.

I use FB to keep in touch with friends from the UK. One friend isn't on there, but his wife is, and we 'friended' after the last time I went home and met up with them both. About a year later, there was a vague-book type post from her about new beginnings. then ONE answer saying 'Divorcing?'

Then NOTHING!!

I haven't been back to the UK to ask any friends in RL, and I can't really send an email asking his (ex?) wife if it was true. And she NEVER posts about him - but never did anyway.

So I don't know if my friend got divorced, or she just switched jobs, or got a haircut or what.

DP employed a woman a few years back and we mistakenly made friends with her. She stole £700 from him and we found out that this is pretty much how she's lost every job she's ever had. And she has four children by four feckless dads (no judgement for the four kids, but to keep having them with doley, perpetually in court/ jail losers?) You get the picture.

Her FB feed is rammed with all those passive aggressive (people treat me like shit but I'm strong, sorta thing)/ affirmation memes. Oh and she's become an MLM bot now too. Lots of nonsense about 'Being in charge of my own destiny', 'running my own business' '#grateful #humble' etc.

Grrrrrrr

I say all of the above to demonstrate what others have said upthread - it always the ones who don't have their shit together that continually post those affirmations.

I have one at the moment that moans so much her own relatives take her to task occasionally. She is really positive face to face! It is not uncommon for her to delete posts slating relatives or about her partner.

In a slight reverse - people who use FB instead of Google. 'Does anyone know ...' However I wish I'd done this myself recently, as I posted a rant on FB (which went into very great detail, no vaguebooking sadly ) about a company and found a few friends had the same problems. We could have saved ourselves a bit of time, there!

Oh, and after my rant I did get a PM from a MLM friend offering to help ... but not too pushy so I'll let them off on this occasion!

I have been guilty ONCEof posting a life affirming bullshit.

It said;

''Always be yourself.

Unless you can be a pirate.''

I found it very funny.

My main vaguebooking offender posted something about 'the straw that broke me has finally happened'.

Thing is - no-one even bothers to enquire now.

The ones of a picture of a child with cancer or similar saying if I get a million likes a particular doctor will treat them for free or some sort of bollocks. What will happen if there's not enough likes. Does the doctor say 'you're 22,000 likes short,sorry I can't make you better.'