To see some examples of Passive Aggressive tactic BINGO

[GeekLove]

I have seen a fair few in my time so here are some of mine

1. Dramatic Washing Up. To be done messily and splashily as possible preferably with deep breathing and sighing.

1. The Last Biscuit. "No OF COURSE you can have it. It's just a biscuit. I'm fine, fine, fine really I am."

1. The Passive Aggressive Bath. Might sound weird but highly effective if the only toilet in the house is in the bathroom. Most effective if you have guest that have just arrived or you are doing it near most people's bed time. Have a long bath and observe the squirming dance/irritation at not being able to do bedtime ablutions.

More effective still if doors are locked and guests have no keys and the kitchen sink isn't an option. On no account warn your guests about wanting to have a bath.

1. Dramatic Housework in general - Particularly if they have it in mind it should be YOUR job. Bonus points if they think that having a penis (or ID'ing as male) absolves you from housework EVER.

DH does selective deafness.
I will ask him something.
He will reply "what"?
I will sit in silence
Then and only then will he answer me.
I used to repeat the question, but now know he heard me the first time so I wait him out. While glowering slightly.
He's lucky to still be alive

We are great at passive aggressive parenting.

• Oh, DC crying
• 'sigh. I'll go'
• 'no, never mind, sigh. I'll go'
• 'no. Sigh. I said I was going..

Stealth the passive aggressive mince pies have a slightly bitter aftertaste.....

(name changed after most recent DM lazy journalism fiasco).

Dh is very good at PA Procrastination...

this involves having to do something or go somewhere, but not until he has "had a cup of tea....would you like one?"
I graciously deline

he will go and put the kettle on, and forget all about it so whoever goes out to the kitchen next is greeted with a sauna

if it is me, I will then use all the boiling water to make a massive pot of coffee and neglect to tell him. not PA at all

Me to dh when visiting my family: what do you want to do today? Here are options a, b or c or do you have any ideas?
Dh: it doesn't matter, I'm irrelevant. Whatever.
Me: No. What do you want to do.
Dh: my opinion doesn't count, just go ahead with whatever.
Me: OK then.
Later in the day.....
Dh: please can we do x (insert any activity that does not gel with the general vibe of holiday/visit or puts me in an awkward position with family) tomorrow. That's all I ask. (cue hurt victim voice) I'd like to spend some time with you and Ds too you know.
Me: AUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

God, that felt good to write.

I so hate "I don't mind" or "Whatever's easiest". I'm offering a choice, tell me what you want! '"Don't want to put you out". Aaarrrrghghghghghgh

I've never heard of the passive aggressive bath, but loving its horribleness.

I've been accused of being PA when I've gone to bed early. Never crossed my mind! I don't do PA at all .

"Oh, but I would have done that" Then why the fuck didn't you?

When I was still living at home dh had stayed over (not dh then obviously).
One morning my mum decided we'd had a long enough lie in. Rather than knocking and telling us to get up and on with the day she decided it would be so much beer if the dog barked uo the stairs. So she rang the doorbell. The poor bemused dog obviously decided that however much my mum, her owner, rang the doorbell it didn't warrant a woof. So my mum decided the next sensible course of action was to pretend to be the dog. Yes, she lived the saying "have a dog and bark yourself".
It did have the desired effect. I said "was that...?" And dh said "your mum barking up the stairs? Yes"

poppopp that sounds like someone in pain to me.

Oh, this may out me, but I'm going to add my all time favourite from DH.

He agreed to the purchase of a new sofa without coming to view it or sit on it as he wasn't interested.

When it arrived, he didn't like it.

So he sat on the floor for the next 4 weeks. (And he has mobility probs so getting up and down to the carpet wasn't the easiest either!)

My mother wrote the book:
'Oh, you won't be interested so I won't mention it.'
'Do you want a cup of coffee?' (when SHE wants a coffee)
'I don't want you to worry about me.'
'Oh, I couldn't possibly do that on my own.'

Stealth that has made me laugh like a drain!

Barking mum, priceless

I do the PA duvet throw after night-time visits to see to our toddler. I also do some under-my-breath mutterings.

DH does the wrap, tug and roll duvet distribution method.
Leaving me half covered and angry.
It never ends well.

Posted earlier but it seemed to have got eaten.

"Whatever'

That actually terminated a long term friendship. It was a NYE party we were at and we happened to be skint since I was unemployed at the time. So we said we'd be happy to cook and tidy before the party.
'whatever' was the reply whic I naturally interpreted (cough possible AS cough) as 'whatever you do go ahead as it'll be awesome we think you're great.'

It turned out they wanted none of this but we were totally unaware until the next evening when we got kicked out at 22.00.

That wasn't the end though. When phoning then (it was always me that phoned...) I was somehow responsible for anything bad that had happened over the previous six weeks, which would have meant travelling in time.

Was a bit stunned so as an experiment I just didn't ring them again. Apparently they're upset to have lost contact but I'll believe it when they phone me.

Passive aggressive Barking mum.

A relative invited us to a significant family party. The invitation said 'no presents'. I brought small presents for DCs but that was all.
Apparently she was 'really hurt' I hadn't brought a present. WTF?

Ooh, I just got a Flounce this very evening! DH also had a very PA gripe about me always being on my phone in the evenings and not wanting to talk to him- conveniently ignoring that he'd spent the first part of the evening on his phone, not really answering my attempts at conversation whilst he was also watching a tedious programme about cars. By tomorrow I'm pretty sure that this will be one of those events that'll be PA remind me of in weeks to come of how he tries ever so hard to keep the flame alive and I piss all over it!

What about Passive Aggressive apologising?

"I'm sorry but I don't like it when you do XYZ". Said in a very huffy way.

I'm guilty of passive aggressive dog-handling.

DH knows I'm on the war path when he hears me Having Words with the dog for some forbidden action she usually gets away with.

Only read the OP but I think you're married to my husband.

I'm not sure whether this counts but putting on a croaky, whiny voice when the relevant person has hurt their foot / broken their arm / done something that, while possibly painful, should not affect their ability to speak?

Love this^^

I keep picturing the passive aggressive mince pies glowering in their special tin or box 'don't mind us'

Sausage my DH has upped the stakes on the passive aggressive gardening (also a way to make me do all the childcare all weekend while he enjoys his hobby labours in the garden that is "a bit big for me to manage really") by getting an allotment.

He is now a complete martyr to his entirely voluntary allotment owning.

Until a few months ago you could see my DP sat on our front lawn on google street view with a sign saying "Pay your fucking taxes". To be fair, this was after Google put very security-sensitive information about his base and ship onto their Google Earth thing.

They've been since when he was on deployment so he's no longer on it, much to his annoyance.