To see some examples of Passive Aggressive tactic BINGO

[GeekLove]

I have seen a fair few in my time so here are some of mine

1. Dramatic Washing Up. To be done messily and splashily as possible preferably with deep breathing and sighing.

1. The Last Biscuit. "No OF COURSE you can have it. It's just a biscuit. I'm fine, fine, fine really I am."

1. The Passive Aggressive Bath. Might sound weird but highly effective if the only toilet in the house is in the bathroom. Most effective if you have guest that have just arrived or you are doing it near most people's bed time. Have a long bath and observe the squirming dance/irritation at not being able to do bedtime ablutions.

More effective still if doors are locked and guests have no keys and the kitchen sink isn't an option. On no account warn your guests about wanting to have a bath.

1. Dramatic Housework in general - Particularly if they have it in mind it should be YOUR job. Bonus points if they think that having a penis (or ID'ing as male) absolves you from housework EVER.

Omg. Zazie my aunt gets me the same gift every year, body butter I've still got 3 unopened from last year and will doubtless receive three more in 8 weeks time. I've had to give away shit loads of Soap and Glory too as a relative gets me it annually like he's doing me a massive favour and "spoiling me"

Starting a three hour or more DIY job on the weekend because me and the kids aren't dressed and ready to go out when DH has decided he wants to go out. "Oh I thought since you weren't all dressed and standing by the door at 9.30am you wanted to spend the entire day in front of the television wasting your lives so I thought at least I could save the day by being productive" - I mean he doesn't say that in so many words but I've been married 15 years, I speak fluent passive-aggressive.

DP's DM is the Queen of the passive aggressive text.

"Don't worry about us for Christmas, your sisters have other plans but we'll be absolutely fine on our own this year."

clue: she's not fine about this

"DSis and the kids are over this weekend."

clue: DP must come over too. If DP doesn't reply, a day later

"DSis and the kids are over on Sunday. That will be nice!"

She drives DP up the wall with her little texts.

toomuch DH does that, he also does a fine line in passive aggressive going to screwfix on a Saturday morning if we're not up in time. Knock yourself out chap is what I tell him as me and DD eat pancakes in bed!

BTW, passive aggressive mince pies must be the future.

My aunt has good form for being PA and could fill a BINGO card all of her very own...
One year I forgot to send my aunt and uncle a Christmas card. I didn't do it on purpose, I was at university, living away from home for the first time, got generally carried away with life and plum forgot. I intended to give it to them when they did their usual swan past my parents house for 5 minutes to boast about the lovely cruise they were going on. Except of course they didn't come that year.
The following year I didn't get a card from them. They turned up on New Years day, blathered on and on about how the card I'd sent them this time around had arrived on Christmas eve (I was told this about 5 times) and then they left. I remember asking my Mum why my aunt had felt the need to keep going on about the Christmas card I'd sent and she said it was all down to me forgetting the previous year.
My Mum told me that they had spent Christmas with them when my brother was about 18 months old. The whole three days my parents were there my aunt followed my brother around with a damp cloth making loud huffing noises and tutting if even a single crumb hit the floor. My mum said she gave my brother some squash in a sippy cup and she stared at him, all tensed up until he finished then she snatched the cup away and put it in the sink.
My parents have not spent another Christmas in their house. Never really felt welcome! My aunt has now insisted she spend Christmas with us and we have refused due to other things happening. She has flounced and is uncontactable at the moment. Oh well

The Passive Aggressive Steam Generator Iron. With bonus points if employed when OH is watching TV. Whooosssssssshhhhh, hisssssssss.

My dh is very good at the passive aggressive BINGO - usually when its DIY time - doesn't want my help, but if I back off suddenly its 'can you do this, make me tea, fetch that, open that door' etc etc, with lots of moaning and huffing and puffing. He would have made a good martyr in the middle ages.

Passive Aggressive Cooking. Or maybe more accurately Attention-Seeking Cooking.

Clanging, crashing, furiously running kitchen taps, loud frenzied swearing and the occasional yelp.

I think I'm supposed to rush in and demand to know what's-wrong-darling. Or take over and let the poor lamb lie down with a cool cloth on his forehead.

Sticking your head in to the living room to announce that you haven't sat down ALL DAY.

PA nappy changing. Complete with frustrated yodelling.

My DP is very fond of passive aggressive DIY. The "No I don't need your help" but then he'll huff and puff when I'm not there to hold his tools/foot a ladder for him kind. I always say that one of these days he should build himself a cross.

Apparently I do passive aggressive tidying up, which mostly involves hoovering the area right in front of the telly when DP is watching something and we've had a tiff.

I think my parents are the king and queen of PA and being Martyrs though. There's a long running feud in the house over a painting. It's been going on that long that neither of them can remember what the argument was about.

Basically, my granny bought my mum and dad this painting. My mum hated it but my dad thought they had a duty to put it up. Big row, and it ends up on the wall somehow. My dad thinks he put it up there to annoy my mum and my mum thinks she put it up there to show how accomodating she was being. Neither of them will take it down just in case the other person thinks they've won. They've redecorated and everything in the 30 years it's been on the wall and it's still there.

Love the passive aggressive mince pies!!

"Oh, you do it like that? No problem, I'm sure your way will work just fine..."

I'm sad to say I'm involved in a 10 year passive aggressive gift exchange. I know she doesn't like this brand of perfume. She knows I know that she doesn't like it. And yet, there I am, giving it her every year. I can't even remember how that started but I refuse to give up.

Posted too soon...

"Oh, you do it like that? No problem, I'm sure your way will work just fine..."

To be used when new helpers at the PTA / brownies / art club / etc do something in a slightly different way than the Hallowed Traditions passed down psychically from generation to generation even though it doesn't matter one jolt which way the sandwiches are cut or the glue sticks placed on the table

Passive aggressive mince pies!!!!

I love it!

Reminds me of when I made passive aggressive tomato salad for my tomato hating FIL

My MIL could win Olympic medals for PA laundry! "I've done 23 loads of washing today!" I wondered why she felt the need to share until I figured out she wanted everyone to know and feel bad on her behalf.

Now it's PA death notices.

Nakatomi, are you my Mil?
If so, no worries, as it's been my contribution to the office January tombola since 2008. I hope you enjoy the jumper I give you in return. You must have 8 by now, get ready for no9...

Are you all married to my dad?

I -definitely- might have done the banging cupboard doors when cross thing. Although to be fair, I'm not sure it counts as PA when I will quite happily tell dh what I'm pissed off about!

KatieScarlett

Oh no, it's "collectible" china plates I get, which I have to have on display whenever she pops around.

Thank god for that earthquake last year... (I totally didn't throw them all into the wheelie bin, if that's what you're implying!)

I have no doubt at her house that there's 10 bottles of unopened Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers perfume. Either that or she's palmed them off on some other unlucky sod.

I love the passive aggressive gifting! My sister in law is great at it, last year we got her a lovely gift set of toiletries for her birthday, she then wrapped up 2 out of the 3 items for me for Xmas, same stuff in battered old boxes. She also gave her own brother, my DH, a present containing meat even though she knows full well we are veggie.

PA duvet throwing back, usually when I ask OH to herd toddler back into bed after escaping for the 9000000th time. Shortly followed by over dramatic pillow plumping, over exaggerated phone/alarm checking and then the duvet being pulled back over him with a flourish and over the top fidgeting.

Yes I disturbed you. Yes we both have to get up for work. No I don't feel bad asking you to help!

I've had a passive aggressive hamster. "oh I think a hamster is about manageable for you Lois as you don't like living things" We are not getting a dog dh. No way.