To not want to borrow the money for a holiday?

[OlivesOnPizza]

Despite my years on MN this is the first AIBU I have started hard hat is firmly in place

I'll be as brief as I can.

I was made redundant in June. With my payout I paid off my debts except the mortgage I didn't have many, took some time off to spend the summer with DCs and put a good sum of money in the bank as savings.

Now I have a written job offer, I start next month. Aside from the Christmas break I won't be able to take any holiday time off until spring at the earliest, I know this and I'm fine with it. Their Christmas break will give me 10 days off anyway.

I met my boyfriend 6 months ago, we didn't go away together over the summer because it was early days in our relationship and we both wanted to spend time and go on holiday with our own children.

My boyfriend says he would like the two of us to go on holiday together, somewhere hot, before I start my new job as we won't be able to get away together for months after that.

The holiday is a great idea but I have been living frugally post-redundancy as I didn't know when my next job would happen and I want to avoid dipping into the capital I have for luxuries, I think of it as emergency money.

My boyfriend has said he will lend me the money for the holiday, I know this is generous but it has been a huge relief to be debt-free and I don't want to get into debt to him or anyone else, especially as I won't receive my first wages from the new job until the end of November so that will be earmarked for Christmas.

For his part, my boyfriend knows all of this and is easy about me paying back the money in instalments or as a lump sum whenever I have it. He just wants to go on holiday with me while we have the chance.

My judgement is possibly impaired by my EA ex H we split 10 years ago who would have used any loan, even though we were married, as a weapon against me.

AIBU to not want to borrow the money?
WWYD?

I feel like whatever I do will be wrong

Then perhaps its the relationship that is the real problem, not the money. You've only been together a few months, it shouldn't be difficult at this stage.

Olives "I'm irritated and think he's being inconsiderate because a couple of weeks ago when his own job was uncertain he wouldn't have risked spending the money on a holiday either."

yes, this would bother me too. If he just asked once and you said no, that's different of course, but from this it sounds like he's harping on about it?

OP, I would have to advise caution... the early months in a job are not a secure time.... you may dislike the job/company, you may not be right for it, it may not be right for you etc.

Could you compromise and go on a cheap(ish) weekend away rather than a full blown holiday abroad?

user either I will disappoint him or compromise myself.
So far when we've discussed it he's been easy going about it, he suggested we could spend the week at home together instead. In general he is easy going, as I say, it's the inconsiderate bit that's niggling at me. However, last night he offered to pay for me. Ultimately, we just need to get face to face and talk about it properly.

loreli oh yes, now his job is safe he's talked about a holiday all.the.time.

Essentially his motivation is lovely but I think he's being blinkered.

I agree maggie