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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep quiet about this or should I tip her off?

123 replies

SecondTimeIsBetter · 02/10/2016 16:12

Work colleague / friend is getting married on the the weekend, big do costing a fortune at a popular high end venue. I've just found out via a family member that the venue was inspected by environmental health last week and scored 0 - urgent action required. Head chef has apparently already gone, possibly sacked. The score has not yet been published on the food standards website but due to the nature of the venue there is no doubt it will be big news when the story breaks as they host a national team
I don't want to say anything but I am worried that if the story breaks a day or two before the wedding then it's going to be worse than if she found out now and had time to talk to the venue and seek reassurance.
On the other hand it could take longer than a week for the news to break by which time she will be married and away on her honeymoon!
Does anyone have any experience of how long it takes for the score to be published after the date of inspection?

OP posts:
hesterton · 03/10/2016 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SecondTimeIsBetter · 03/10/2016 08:34

When I started the thread I didn't realise that the 0 score sticker was already up at the venue and was hoping there was a chance she would only find out after the wedding. Now that I know it is already there for all to see I think it's only fair on the other guests (particularly the elderly relatives and those with babies who are staying for 2 nights) to warn her in advance so that she can talk to the venue for reassurance (and a substantial discount).

OP posts:
Original poster
SecondTimeIsBetter · 03/10/2016 08:39

Can you imagine the thread on here

" I turned up to stay for two nights at a posh hotel for a wedding with my 2 small dc to find out the venue has just been scored 0 by environmental health. WIBU to stay elsewhere?"

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 03/10/2016 08:39

England doesn't have to display not sure about rest of Uk.

callmeadoctor · 03/10/2016 08:40

TBH I am now thinking that you don't like your "work colleague" overly much! Hmm

Only1scoop · 03/10/2016 08:42

It's your 'work colleague' you seem extremely over invested in this. She may have already been contacted.

Only1scoop · 03/10/2016 08:42

Are you a guest?

callmeadoctor · 03/10/2016 08:44

You are missing the point OP, that when this happens the kitchens will have been spotlessly cleaned and will probably be cleaner than anywhere else.

Why don't you ring them up if you are worried? I know that if I were the bride (who may have been informed anyway) I would not want it to spoil my wedding. Particularly supposed "friends" letting me know (just in case) beforehand.

RhiWrites · 03/10/2016 08:46

How many people remember news stories about a hotel failing health inspection?

How many people read signs on the doors or walls of hotels?

Ignore it. Don't tell her and never tell her that you knew in advance.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 03/10/2016 09:01

I think OP runs the venue and has a wedding party booked in and is worried she's going to lose the booking Hmm

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 03/10/2016 09:07

If it was my wedding, I would want to know. I wouldn't assume someone was being malicious. I'd rather know than risk food poisoning on my wedding day.

IrenetheQuaint · 03/10/2016 09:14

Why the hate against the OP? She's done nothing wrong and seems to be approaching this difficult situation very thoughtfully.

Hope it all works out, OP.

BillSykesDog · 03/10/2016 09:18

Well you were always going to tell her anyway. Enjoy the thrill, hopefully she'll be really upset. That's what you want isn't it?

callmeadoctor · 03/10/2016 09:26

PamBagnalls, what would you do if you were told now? (the wedding is at the weekend!)

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 03/10/2016 09:27

Ring the venue for reassurance and if they couldn't give it find something else. I 100% would not want to have a wedding reception at somewhere with unacceptable food hygeine practices.

callmeadoctor · 03/10/2016 09:32

Well, they are bound to reassure you aren't they? Confused. The bride probably knows already, I would bet.

MargaretCavendish · 03/10/2016 09:34

I can't believe people are suggesting ringing the venue on her behalf! I'd think it was weird if my best friend or mum started trying to do that for my wedding: if someone who described themselves as a 'work colleague/friend' did it I'd think they were absolutely bonkers.

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 03/10/2016 09:38

By reassure I mean, explain what they are doing to improve food hygeine procedures. I'd want to see. And if they weren't able to put my mind at rest, I'd be off. Yes, so close to the wedding. I'd sort something else out. Anything else, rather than get food poisoning on my wedding day or risk any of my guests becoming ill.

GnomeDePlume · 03/10/2016 09:39

If I were in the bride's situation I would absolutely want to know even if it was just one day before the wedding.

What would people rather remember about their wedding day? A bit of a last minute panic or all the guests going down with food poisoning?

No way would I be trusting to the venue having got itself sorted out in time and just hoping for the best. The head chef has gone, have they got a new head chef in place or are they hoping that an agency will be able to get them one in time?

Some very strange attitudes towards the bride. As though she is some delicate child who has to be protected at all costs. She is a grown woman.

TheEmmaDilemma · 03/10/2016 09:40

I'm tempted to guess it's Penny Hill Park, but I'd be astonished if it was.

BillSykesDog · 03/10/2016 09:48

No way would I be trusting to the venue having got itself sorted out in time and just hoping for the best.

So what would you do? The chances that the bride is going to be able to sort an alternative out in four days is virtually nil. All her guests will have arranged travel, babysitters, hotels, time off work, presents, bought outfits and gone to a great deal of expense and trouble to be there. Plus she will have her honeymoon booked, entertainment booked, suit hire booked, cars booked. Most of this is going to be non-refundable. What do you suggest? That she takes a couple of hundred people to the park with a loaf and a couple of fish and hopes for a miracle? Asks people to turn up to the wedding then just go home? They'll have little choice but to go ahead. The kitchens will have been thoroughly cleaned and they will be in crisis management mode.

In all likelihood very few people will even notice and they event will go off okay even if the food isn't quite up to par. The only thing telling the bride will achieve is upsetting her and marring her day with worry. Which I suspect is the intention.

GnomeDePlume · 03/10/2016 09:57

The bride is not a child, to go ahead or make changes is her choice to make.

SleepFreeZone · 03/10/2016 09:59

I've read the whole thread and find the majority of responses quite strange. Why the hate against the OP? Why the desperate need to try and out the venue? Confused

If I were the bride I would want to know absolutely. Id want to be gaining reassurances from them that my guests won't get food poisoning and potentially I would be reconsidering the menu or trying to arrange a discount.

RayofFuckingSunshine · 03/10/2016 10:03

I would want to know if I was your friend. Although I wouldn't really be bothered as EH would be watching them like a hawk and they'd have the cleanest kitchens for miles now, I would want to renegotiate price - especially as the head chef has left.

SpringerS · 03/10/2016 10:03

I'd find a way of letting her know. If she's generally level headed about the wedding tell her, herself. If she's clearly a bit frazzled maybe tell her parents. That way she'll be able to know what is happening, what measures are being made so standards are met for her wedding, be prepared to reassure her guests if the story breaks before the wedding. And may be able to negotiate a discount/something extra in her wedding package to compensate for the stress caused.