to wonder what country life is really like?

[longestlurkerever]

I've always wanted to start a thread to ask what people in the countryside actually do at weekends and after work, but thought it might come across as a bit rude. But there have been so many threads asking how people can bear living in London lately that I am just going to ask.

I love beautiful countryside. Sometimes I feel if I moved somewhere glorious I could just sit and drink in the view and feel happy. But then I kick myself and think "but what would you actually do?" Where would you take the kids when they're driving you mad and you just need to get out of the house? Would you really just go for yet another walk? Do kids really keep themselves entertained all day with a stick like MN would have you believe? What about when it's dark at 4pm or wet every weekend for months?

So, people who enjoy country life - can you describe what you actually fill your time with? Especially if you're a bit meh about horses and animals in general? Or is that no one who lives in the country?

I don't think I have acted superior. I started the thread because I can definitely see the appeal of country living. I just assumed there are pros and cons. Some responses have been along the lines of "you must be mad to live in a city - we have everything you have and more" and I have defended my choice to date, that is all. I do think there are pros to city living - particularly London living. You all mention driving to a nearby city for shopping, cinema, bowling etc but there is more to city living than that. Wandering home from work past a massive range of international supermarkets and deciding to try making something wholly new, watching my kids fascinated by a group of graffiti artists and asking them all about it, learning about history in school and then just saying "yes we can go and see where Henry VIII lived if you like" and just setting off. I would miss these things. Basically it is allowing my kids not just the physical freedom that you all value but the intellectual freedom to grow in a world that is rich and open and full of experiences that are broader than just me and the people I know. I felt stifled in a small but beautiful city in the North, close to stunning countryside in a way I do not in London. Country living might well open other doors and I might love it just as much, but this is what makes me nervous to leave London.

I live in Barcelona. City with a beach and a mountain.

longest

I just dont think you can beat London in the winter for small dc entertainment.

Its my agenda now, to keep out of musuems all summer and when its warm and save them all for winter. There is simply nothing to do round me in the winter with small dc.
Yes walks but I dont always fancy walking in cold and wet, yes baking but seriously!! An hour - two at most is taken up with it - colouring painting, tv, computers...

No, London and its huge array of museums is far better IMO for winter.

Longest - get the farm stay brochure and books some lovely holidays in the countryside instead in farm environments

Op I get the freedom part I've seen ds 9 blossom since moving back to London, he has a diverse group of friends, and an interest in other people that just wasn't there in our small village, rather than im bored can I go play x box round x's, he actually suggests places he wants go, this weekend is the jack the ripper house , his school is far better I was horrified that he was 2 yrs behind when we moved as I had constantly been told he was on target, his new school has gone over and above to help him catch up. Btw he still plays x box with friends but is now interested in doing other things as well.

Basically it is allowing my kids not just the physical freedom that you all value but the intellectual freedom to grow in a world that is rich and open and full of experiences that are broader than just me and the people I know

Well, you do sound rather superior here! I can't say that the adults I know who grew up in London are notably more 'intellectually free' than those who didn't.

I actually agree with a lot of what you're saying (although your tone is a bit difficult at times). What I would note, though, is that people living in London often have a funny view of what's 'close' to them compared to much of the country - I know a lot of people who talk about 'museums and galleries on their doorstep', but who actually live at least an hour from them with a route that involves quite a bit of changing and hassle. Most people would have a lot more 'local' amenities to list if they were giving themselves an hour's travel time radius!

But an hour on winding lanes maybe even on a bus doesn't get you farand is bloody expensive it is easier for me to pop on public transport hence the gap between my ds and my dnephews, my sister would have to plan an entire day out, I can pop to a museum for the morning and be home for lunch. However there is no excuse for the village school!

I grew up in a small town on the endge of the country and the mountains and my childhood was spent riding horses mostly. Loved it. :) But we were close enough to regular city trips, and would go into town for lunches, the cinema, art exhibitions etc.

I now live in a little village and I adore it. After school I often drive 30 mins or so to a really nice beach and we play and have ice cream or hot chocolate. We are also near woods so we play in the woods. I ride horses. DH is into sea kayaking and bike riding in a big way. DS is 7 but he likes having picnics mostly and just pottering. It works for us now.My favourite activities in the summer were rockpooling and bat spotting.

It suits me perfectly. I love heading into London every now and then for a show or a great meal out, but mostly I love being in my own village, and I feel so so so lucky that I adore where I live. :)

Oh yeah- and every autumn we do alot of blackberrying and crab apple foraging. DH makes hedgerow wines.

My idea of bliss really. :)

Bear in mind rural gardens are usually bigger sibthat takes time for adult to maintain and child to play in.yy to lots of community events not otherwise you jump in the car and go to somrwhere

I grew up fairly rurally and, as a child, it was great. However, once I got into my teens, it began to feel like a prison. Teenagers don't generally want to build dens or pick blackberries. I just remember the stultifying boredom and the feeling that all life was elsewhere. And there was a lot of sitting in fields getting drunk. I vowed that if I had children, I would never inflict that kind of upbringing on them. I wish I'd grown up in London, my DCs have a brilliant life and I love that the older 2 can go absolutely anywhere in London for free and under their own steam and aren't reliant on us for lifts (just as well as we don't have a car).

But don't you think that growing up you had experiences that others in cities might have envied? It's not like you grew up in grinding poverty in nineteenth century Ireland!

People talk about London like it's the Promised Land. It might be a great city, but it's still noisy, crowded and polluted.

Well I apologise if I came across as superior. That was the opposite of my intention, which was to say I am not the oracle of all things. My children benefit from experiences and points of view that are outside my field of reference. It wasn't me that mentioned relative lack of diversity and a certain incidence narrow mindedness as downsides of rural life but it's mentioned as a con in a number of responses which have addressed both pros and cons. To me that's not just a minor downside but fundamental really - obviously it's not true that cities=broadminded and rural=narrow minded but generally rubbing along with people different from yourself is what helps to break down barriers.

My tone might be a bit bristly because there are a lot of threads, and undercurrents in this one, that suggest urban childhoods are somehow lacking. On another thread ongoing right now there are people saying London is not a good place to bring up children - that they grow up harder and more materialistic than children elsewhere. IRL people are always saying they "couldn't possibly" bring up children in London. It does piss me off, I admit, but also examine what I love about where I live.

I never said anything about 19th century Ireland I said it was fucking boring. And it was.

misshoolie mine was fucking boring too!
Once again we have two threads running in tandem, getting confused...

It can be a hassle to get across London, but it is also free, once you've paid for your travelcard to work, and that's a big thing. I can get to dsis's house in an hour but it costs £15 in petrol, and a lot more than that on the train, so it's not somewhere I could go every day. My kids actually like the tube - and it comes every couple of mins. Somehow that makes a big difference psychologically versus getting the train out of London where you have to plan in advance and wait around if it's delayed.

Op I like the London bubble, but it isn't for everyone. The problem is if you leave you are often priced out of coming back, it felt like i was coming out of exile when I returned and dh knows the only way he would move me to the countryside is in a wooden box.
I've seen many people move out (my parents included) to find the isolation hard commute hard and to end up regretting it a few years down the line...

I can't imagine many people who enjoy living in London also enjoying rural life on a permanent basis.

Living in the countryside can be difficult. You generally need to be content with your own little piece of the world and your own company.

But the best thing about rural life for me are the horizons. I can't stand not being able to see where the land meets the sky. It makes me feel really claustrophobic. Being surrounded by horizon just makes me feel blissfully free.

As I said, I mostly agree with you: where I live (a commuter town very near London) is pretty rubbish in lots of ways, but it's the lack of diversity and the fact it's a pretty right-wing place that bother me the most. If I could I would live in London (we can't afford to, and DH also absolutely loathed living there in his 20s, though I would argue that was because he hated his job and being single and has transferred those feelings onto the place).

But I do think what you've done here is the equivalent of the SAHM/WOHM threads where everyone defends their own choices and both sides feel attacked. You've pretty much asked people to say that their own lives are boring so that you can feel good about yours: do you really not see why that's a bit offensive? If you're really happy with your choices then just be happy with them, don't imply that everyone else is raising little racists to assuage your own insecurity.

I'm not bothered by the OPs comments at all - just raising a discussion..

I don't think of ourselves as country dwellers although we have to drive 7 mins to our nearest shop (our village just has one pub) and DD has to go on the bus for a hour to school. However we can be in our large market town, with plenty of amenities in 20 mins.

We do have wifi at home and nothing feels too old fashioned.

Some of the advantages include - being able to keep our horses in the village and go riding in lovely countryside; low crime rate (where a missing wheelie bin would be the headline news in our parish newsletter); clean (if sometimes smelly!) air; good sense of community because we know the names of virtually everybody in our village.

Some of the disadvantages include - having to drive to go anywhere; none of DDs friends live within 20 mins of us; if a road is closed for repair the diversions can take ages; at harvest times huge lorries rush through our small village.

For entertainment we've got whatever we want (and London is only 1m 20m on train) but we just have to drive there...

I can see why it might come across that way and that is why I have refrained from posting this before, as I said. It actually isn't the case. I'm genuinely torn as to whether the benefits of London, as I see them, are outweighed by the benefits of the countryside as I see them - that physical freedom, the soul-enriching beauty of nature, a stable community, a calmer pace of life. I am sure no one on this thread is breeding narrow minded racists. I just assume you have to consciously expose your kids to things I take for granted the way I have to consciously expose my kids to opportunities to be self sufficient and outdoors that you take for granted. If that is a wrong assumption, fine, I am totally prepared to be challenged and corrected. Debate is what this type of thread is about. It would be a wrench to change my choice now but I am theoretically open to a different way of life. That's why I started the thread. I suspect there woukd be things I'd fund hard the way there are about my life now. The inability to switch off and be aslone being the biggest, I think

Ah a missing wheelie bin, you know you are in the country. I bring you the tale of the boomerang hub cap. A few weeks back a neighbour knocked and said he had noticed we were missing a hub cap and there was one propped up by the allotments, could it be ours? Hub cap retrieved and put back on car. Two weeks later it fell of again. A couple of days after that someone put in inside our garden gate. The third time it was returned DH finally fixed it with some cable ties. All very kind people and appreciated but as DH says you can't fart round here without everyone knowing about it. I still love it though.

We enjoy swimming in the lake straight after school. Or in the sea.
My two and four year old have been climbing (well not so much the two year old) kayaking, paddle boarding this summer.

As well as all the den building, stick collecting, concors, acorns, bilberries, blackberries, growing veg in our garden. Watching the tadpoles grow.
Visiting castles, roman settlements, celtic burial chambers.

Music groups, karate classes, etc
There are theatre productions, cinemas, summer fairs, pop up galleries, National trust property do regular events.

My teenage nephews spend the summer bouldering and paddle boarding and mountain biking . I'm sure if you aren't into sports it might not be so appealing. But you often see teenagers here still really keen to spend time with family because they gave those hobbies in common and need the parenting taxi service.

I would say I couldn't bring up my children in a city (obviously I could but wouldn't want to) but not because it's wrong to do so just wouldn't suit me, and isn't what I would choose for my children.
Love visiting cities for a week or so but that's enough for me. I have lived in a city, while in uni but would never do it again. It's not for me, but I have plenty of cities I will be taking my children to.

The other side of my question, which is perhaps for another thread, is how people make work work. Do you/your dps generally have long commutes our do you work locally or from home?