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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask any Muslim mumsnetters

108 replies

DollyBarton · 30/09/2016 20:42

Whether you are ok with dogs in the house? I'm not sure if it's one of the more normal or extreme beliefs for Muslim people but I read it is a problem and had arranged for my dog to be away when our Muslim friends stay this weekend. It's my DH's friend and girlfriend we've never met so I can't guess how many of the rules particularly she observes. My DH told me not to be so ridiculous and kept the dog here. I just think that because he thinks he knows his friend from college and observed him being fairly relaxed in those days he could be mistaken about how he and his girlfriend are about their beliefs now. They have said they are happy to share a room, I know they don't drink but DH has been in a pub with the friend in the past. DH was surprised they only eat halal....I just feel we should make our home as Muslim friendly as possible, they are our guests and it's not hard to remove the dog, put away all alcohol, remove all pork from the fridge and maybe be a bit careful about welcome hugs and kisses. Is the dog an issue in general or is it something many Muslim people don't observe? I am nervous they will feel deeply uncomfortable but too polite to say.

OP posts:
sparechange · 30/09/2016 21:45

It totally depends on interpretation and their 'level' of religion
I'm not Muslim but my grandmother was and I have spent quite a lot of time living in Muslim countries. In Pakistan and Malaysia, it was fine to have a dog and people didn't really have an issue with it. In Dubai and Indonesia, is it more of an issue.

It is their saliva that is considered 'haram' rather than the dog itself, so a dog in the house isn't an issue but big slobbery kisses might be!

Angelika321 · 30/09/2016 21:48

I wouldn't worry about removing the dog. As previous posters have said it's to do with being clean for prayers. However if they're unmarried and sharing a room It's highly unlikely they'll be observing the prayers.

MLGs · 30/09/2016 21:49

I never knew there was anything in Islam against dogs/ keeping dogs inside. Just goes to show.

Me2017 · 30/09/2016 21:51

I am an atheist but not keen on dog spit either, to be honest.

PoldarksBreeches · 30/09/2016 21:51

Muslims are literally just people! Very strict Muslims wouldn't have relationships outside of marriage or visit non Muslims in their homes so chill out. They will work round your home and habits and they don't need special treatment.

The2Ateam · 30/09/2016 21:52

It's lovely that you're going out of your way to look after your guests, Muslim or otherwise. X

WorraLiberty · 30/09/2016 21:53

OP, I'm sure your heart is in the right place but this made me cringe!

I just feel we should make our home as Muslim friendly as possible, they are our guests and it's not hard to remove the dog, put away all alcohol, remove all pork from the fridge and maybe be a bit careful about welcome hugs and kisses.

I don't know a single Muslim (out of the very many I do know) who would want this special treatment.

Most of them that I know tend to feel frustrated at being seen as a Muslim first and a friend/neighbour/school parent etc second.

If your DH can't ask his mate if his GF is ok with dogs, then I really dispair.

I dont mean to sound harsh, but honestly you could end up ruining the whole weekend by accident if you don't chill out.

PoldarksBreeches · 30/09/2016 21:54

^ what worra said

GDarling · 30/09/2016 21:57

They can't be strict about their religion as they are happy to sleep together even though they are not married, also if they were really worried, they wouldn't come to yr house....would they???
Treat them as you treat all yr guests, close doggy away, as I do when I have guests, if they are fussy about what they eat, I'm sure they would say.....or not come to eat!
Obviously don't rub it in eg, pork, bottom dwellers, bacon etc, maybe lots of veggie selection.

MeadowHay · 30/09/2016 22:00

mamadoc I actually think the treatment you describe regarding your breast feeding to be appalling!! I'm Muslim, have Muslim parents. My dad is an immigrant from a Muslim country. I used to visit said country a lot when I was younger, part of that time my auntie was breastfeeding my cousin. I have no idea what other Muslim countries are like and I don't want to identify the country for fear of outing myself, but in that country breastfeeding is done with absolutely no shame or fear, in any company, anywhere that it is necessary. This is a country where women traditionally observe quite a strict Islamic/cultural dress code. They will sit covered up apart from their face, in a busy restaurant, and then whip out a boob and feed their child, with no dallying about with muslin cloths or any of that nonsense. As you have said breastfeeding is strongly encouraged in the Qur'an and in Muslim cultures generally. I am really sorry you had that experience and feel very angry about it for you!! x

PickAChew · 30/09/2016 22:16

Me2017 Fri 30-Sep-16 21:51:00

I am an atheist but not keen on dog spit either, to be honest.

_

Same here. I enjoy enabling a good scratch, though. Parents' dog loves a good scratch!

BillSykesDog · 30/09/2016 22:17

Couldn't you just, y'know, ask them?

PickAChew · 30/09/2016 22:18

pork, bottom dwellers, bacon etc,

Now, the imagery implied here somehow made me snigger!

I'm guessing that means things like crayfish?

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 30/09/2016 22:19

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Is this a joke thread?

Just treat your guests as human beings op and chill out.

ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 30/09/2016 22:20
Hmm
HouseOfBorghese · 30/09/2016 22:20

What the 2Ateam said Smile

People who are seriously quoting the thing about 'making our house as Muslim friendly as possible' (What???) surely that can't be a genuine post?! I haven't RTFT so do not know who posted it.

To the OP I think it's sweet of you to consider the beliefs of guests to your home and to try and make your home inviting and comfortable for them. I am sure your hospitality won't go unnoticed.

As far as whether she will mind the dog or not my first thoughts would be, like other Muslim posters, to assume that if she is staying with a man out of wedlock then she will hardly keep halal or say her prayers.

But the Lord is all merciful and it is not my place to judge, so I would suggest that as long as this woman had a dog free space (such as the bedroom) to say her prayers (without coming into contact with dog slobber) should she wish, then I don't see a problem.

As for pork and alcohol (and non halal meat) as long as a person who keeps halal does not consume any of those things, it doesn't matter what you eat or drink! We don't care!

HTH Wink Grin

RaggyDoll1 · 30/09/2016 22:21

agree with meadowHay, mamadoc don't worry about it.

re the young wife and the dogs she was just probably scared of them. I'm a practising Muslim but we live in a very rural area full of lovely dogs. Lots of Muslims are fine with dogs, the flinching was probably her fear (just guessing)

you weren't to know about the pork, or about the kiss. Most Muslims are very understanding and will gently correct or ignore. Please don't feel bad and nothing wrong with B.F thats prob a cultural thing.

fakenamefornow · 30/09/2016 22:27

they believe dogs are "dirty

They're right! Disgusting filthy animals, I speak from personal experience, I have a dog, and love her to bits :)

PoldarksBreeches · 30/09/2016 22:31

Look, most Muslims won't give a crap what you do and that includes drinking alcohol and eating pork. No need to get it out of the house! Maybe don't get pissed when they are there or cook bacon sandwiches but having it in your fridge is fine.
The dogs will also be fine as long as you can contain them if they aren't comfortable with them (same as you would with a non Muslim guest who wasn't comfortable)

Original poster
DollyBarton · 30/09/2016 22:34

Don't worry. There's alcohol in the cupboard and pork in the freezer. I just removed the usual rashers and sausages from the shopping list this week.

OP posts:
ThisUsernameIsAvailab1e · 30/09/2016 22:47

Why? Why would you remove items of food from your shopping list?

You sound a little bit odd if I'm honest. Just ask if they're ok with the dog, like you would with any guest surely?

I've got visions of you perched in your sofa all weekend desperate. It to cause offence but coming out with some Alan Partridge type comments ..

ThisUsernameIsAvailab1e · 30/09/2016 22:47

Perched on your sofa

Desperate not to cause offence

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 30/09/2016 23:00

I think dolly is on a wind up Grin

HouseOfBorghese · 30/09/2016 23:03

I think you would be correct nina

WorraLiberty · 30/09/2016 23:17

This is the second weirdest thread I've ever read on MN about Muslims.

The first was from an OP (who seemed very genuine btw), who was practically hyperventilating and tripping over herself to welcome a Muslim mother into her home, because her kid was coming over on a play date.

She wanted to know if there was 'anything she should or shouldn't do or say' Confused

She asked if it would be 'appropriate' to bake her a cake and I was thinking, 'Errr well that's up to you if you're the sort of person who bakes cakes for guests', but quite what it had to do with her being Muslim was beyond me.

Then (and I shit you not) someone came on and said, "I am Muslim and you should bake her a cake. I guarantee she will love it"??

How the fuck did she know the woman A.) eats cakes, B.) wasn't on a diet, C.) didn't have some sort of dietary intolerance? Grin

I know everyone's hearts were in the right places, but bloody hell I would have been cringing if I had been that mother.

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