AIBU to wonder how the hell I keep ending up hair I don't want

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

No matter which hairdressers I go to no matter where in the country it is or what price range the cuts are I end up with the exact same cut EVERY BLOODY TIME.

I hate it as in really hate it to the point that I'm now contemplating shaving my head and having done with the whole hair thing.

I have taken pictures of what I want in it looks nothing like what I get, ive even taken pictures in and very clearly said do not give me this cut or one like it I hate it, ive spent hours building up trust with hairdressers (because I now have a phobia) got to the point when I trust them not to do it so feel ok with asking for a proper cut as opposed to a tiny trim and Yep I get the same cut despite being so clear about not wanting it

I don't know anything about hairdressing so don't know which styke they are doing untill its done and end up in tears everytime I have a haircut.

How? Why? And AIBU to think they shouldn't do it and wonder how I can stop them

This is 100% what happens to me.

The real question though

Why do we just nod and smile - then leave and sin in the car?

We don't put up with it from any other profession do we?

It's impossible to get the same hairstyle on different people unless they have the exact same hair, my sister and I have the same colour hair look quite similar too but even if I tried 1000 times my hair would not look like hers with the exact same cut.

Honestly...as an ex hairdresser your terminology is misleading. Saying you don't want bits near your face etc. As you have said in a post on page 1 indicates you dislikes having the length that can bother you and so want a shorter style.

However there's absolutely no excuse if they've seen the picture you've posted at all as its obviously completely different to the second pic.

But still choc I had the cut I asked for once before and loved it yet every time since no matter where I go I end up with a cut more like the second picture that in no way even vaguely resembles the one I ask for and every single hairdresser does the same cut on me.

If they did a Mohican and died it green I would prefer it to what they do, if they shaved my head and wrote "sock is a twat" on it I could even brazen that one out but the cut they all give me without fail is the same style that is nothing like what I show them I want and is so ridiculous that no amount of confidence can make me pretend I don't look ridiculous. Why would every single one of them think it looks ok?

Saying you don't want bits near your face etc. As you have said in a post on page 1 indicates you dislikes having the length that can bother you and so want a shorter style

When I tell them I actually show them what I mean by pulling the hair forward how they all do it and say this is what I don't want

I have shown the photo of meg ryan and got the same cut as you! I specifically said that I didn't want an upwards diagonal line from my ear towards the back of my head. I think it's true that hairdressers can only do a couple of different styles. I had to let mine grow out for about 3 months, then I cut it myself round the back to stop it being mullet-esque, and now I quite like it

I have the same problem every time I decide I want my hair short, I take in pictures, say I want a messy, choppy sort of thing and walk out looking like a cross between Clare Balding and my Gran.

So I end up growing it out and then, when it gets on my nerves enough, I go back and repeat the cycle.

Argh!

Maybe try a mobile hairdresser? I hate visiting hairdressers but the mobile ones have always been good. You could also try hairdressing colleges. The students are always terrified so takes an age but I've always ended up with immaculate hair from them

For choppy messy styles ask about a razor cut.

Do you have any photos of you when you had the cut you liked? I've had much more success showing hairdressers photos of previous successful haircuts I have had than showing them pictures of celebrities with similar cuts: I think it can be asking quite a lot for them to 'translate' it, perhaps particularly if the celebrity has a different hair texture or if their hair is very styled.

I think short messy hair cuts are much more about the product than the the cut.

For me I have a shortish messy hair cut at the moment. It either looks super cute and curly (with effort and product) or looks like a not very good bob.

I have found my people

I hate getting my haircut, it does always look nice but it's always the same and I always feel a bit disapointed my hair grows really evenly so I have not been for about six months now to the hairdressers and lived with it in a bun mostly, styled it yesterday and it still looks the same just much longer

Have been trying to get the energy together to try again, but not sure I can be bothered to waste the money but maybe next time will be dream hair cut time

Dubious I just love that!

It is so what happens to me. In addition my (old) hairdresser also blow dries a sort of wave in it so that I look like an old dear with a marcel wave, or Queen Mother circa 1926. I would take it humbly as my due for being an old biddy if she was some 20 year old fashionista but she's my age!

I have ordered a wig and decided to have done with this cutting thing it's all to traumatic

OP, I have similar hair taste to you.

I am sure you have noticed, though, it isn't currently the height of hair fashion. Consequently, in my experience the only way to get it done properly is to go to a super-trendy hipster hairdresser that is used to people coming in to ask for unfashionable haircuts (so they can be different). If you are likely to be in a position to get your hair cut in London any time soon, I will tell you who I went to and asked for Milla's haircut and got Milla's haircut.

I feel your pain OP, every time I go I get a blunt bob, regardless of what haircut I asked for. Last time I went was March, I asked her to keep the length (just at shoulder blades), put in some layers and a fringe. I got a blunt bob sat on my shoulders with two thin, eyebrow length strands of hair "swept" across my forehead. Worst thing is I'm really short sighted so I can't even see what they're doing until it's finished.

If you manage to find a salon where you leave with even vaguely the haircut you've asked for please post the name of it - I'm desperate 😭

Counts blessings I've found a good hairdresser, I've had a lot of shit cuts and highlights in my time and can totally sympathise.

Do you emphasise the length when you ask for you cut? Could you try a different pic but same hairstyle maybe a side on Version so they can really grasp the shape/cut.

Iv got my hair dresser well trained started with a pic and then over time we have tailored the cut to my taste, ie no hair covering one half of my face.

Now I just point somewhere in the direction of my face for the length and she cracks on.

I spent a year asking my hairdresser for layers that start higher up from the bottom and a few shorter bits at the front. I took in photos of what I wanted and photos of what I didn't. (I have mid length straight fine hair, not excessively fine or thin.) Every time she started the layers a couple of inches from the longest length and kind of pushed the open scissors down the hair at the front to shorten about a dozen hairs. I went elsewhere (with the photos again) and got exactly what I wanted first time. My conclusion is that she just didn't know how to do what I was asking her to do. I won't go back.

Try taking photos of what you don't want as well as what you do want?

Still recovering from my May haircut where my few long layers became many short 'choppy' ones against my will.

I know your pain. I once had a lovely cut (very pricey though ) and the stylist thought, without asking me, to give it more volume! Cue him picking up a decent size chunk of my hair, twisting it, and chopping it 0.2mm off my scalp!!! TWICE! I had fucking tufts of hair sticking straight up for months! Never went back

My sister is my hairdresser and she's brilliant, but after 3 consecutive haircuts where I said I wanted to return to an earlier (significantly different and much shorter) style that I reminded her about and she just trimmed it into the same style as before I snapped. Made a follow up appointment a week later and showed her three sample photos of me with the haircut I wanted. She recut it and it's now perfect.

Dig through your old photos and take a little gallery on your phone the next time it's long enough for another try!

I agree with PP- show them a photo of YOU with the haircut and that should be better!

Oh I just don't get my hair cut anymore because every time they give me a totally straight bob when I've specifically asked not to have a totally straight bob. I want something layered and messy and am always given something neat and flat and all one length. I ask for a long layered fringe and get left with a straight cut around my nose. Every time I go somewhere with photos they give me the same crap straight haircut. I've said I'll pay to get it permed or whatever is necessary to stop it being so flat and they all say it won't work. Now I wear a ponytail and cut it myself while it's tied back.

Same here.
I've tried about 5 different hairdressers and all of them cut blunt layers around my ears when I ask for long layers.
My hair is very thick and I have a lot of it so I end up with a wedge shape once the blow-dry fuzzes up. Do none of them get it?
I thought one got it last year, first cut was looking promising, we had a plan to get my hair how I wanted it. Second visit, she had no idea what she was originally doing and gave me the fucking wedge again. I didn't even get a shit coffee to soften the blow.
I let her know how unhappy I was and she looked sheepish but didn't offer a solution, so that's another off the list.
I give up. I'm growing it long and trimming it myself.

Stick a picture on and let us have a look,it might look more like the cut you wanted than you think.

I know you said you don't know how to block your face out(I've no idea neither)so how about sticking something in front of your face so we can just see the hair cut?

I can't understand how they can keep getting it so wrong?
I'm very particular about my hair so I know if it was me I'd be fuming and I would have refused to pay them.