For thinking my son isn't lagging when it comes to potty training?

[Writerwannabe83]

Yesterday my friend passed comment that she was surprised my 2.5 year old DS isn't potty trained yet. Her son was fully trained (wees and poo) by the time of his second birthday but I thought that was actually quite early and something to be proud of as opposed to something we should all be achieving?

My other friend has a daughter and she was fully trained by 2yrs 6m though so maybe my son is lagging? I don't know?

We're at the stage where if we are home all day and leave his nappy off he will use the potty for every wee that he has. We have to put a nappy on him at peak 'Poo Time' as I doubt he'd use the potty for that.

We have tried pull-ups and pants on him but if he is wearing either of them he will treat it as a nappy and both wee/poo in them. We haven't braved going out without a nappy on for this reason.

Admittedly, I'm not too sure what my next step is but I don't think what stage my son is at is completely outside the realms of normal?

When she passed comment to me I honestly didn't know what to say. He's my first DC so my knowledge around this milestone is pretty limited.

She just made me feel a bit crappy.

toilet training is bloody awful. I can't think of anything more emotionally charged tbh. You need endless patience, be prepared for many set backs and the ability to smile through episodes of poo accidents.

My DS is almost 3 and not there yet. I'm similar to you OP, we have had dry days at home but not risked further than a walk to the post box without pull ups.

Although my DS still hasn't taken himself off to the potty by himself yet, only stays dry if i get him to sit on potty often enough. If i ask him if he needs a wee he always says no. Doesn't seem to know it's coming then gets flustered and confused when he wets himself in pants. Poos he can fairly reliabley do on the toilet now.

So I'm taking it easy on him. I am very reluctant to push it any further until he seems more aware. So for now I'm half and half. Pull ups most of the time at preschool & out and about. Pants when we are home for a stretch of time. I'm sure the time will come!

Being potty training 'early' I don't think is anything to be 'proud' of any more than anything else like walking that they just do in their own time and will only happen when they are ready.

I think as long as they're potty trained before school it's ok, but Tbh I prefer to potty train younger (even if it takes longer).

DS needed to be in pants to start pre-school. He's an August baby so when we had his trial day at 2.9 and he was still in nappies, I started to panic. But over the summer he just decided for himself he wanted to do it and at exactly 3 he was doing wees and poos on the toilet. I got off lighty by waiting.

The problem I have is that DS hates wearing pants, it's such a screaming battle to get them on him - he will then just poo and wee in them like he would a nappy. Pull-ups are just as pointless because he uses them like a nappy too.

It's just frustrating not knowing where to go from here.

OP you're more advanced that we are! DS soon 3 and we've only just started potty training.

Sounds like he's just not ready yet, OP.

So should I just completely abandon it? I.e get rid of the potty? Or should we just let him use the potty at home as we have been but carry on with nappies otherwise?

Do whatever works with the least amount of stress for you and for him.

My elder two were 3 and a half before we had any kind of success , and night time they were both over 5

Youngest was dry day and night at 2

Aaand for the first time ever ds just asked to use the potty and has done a wee in it. We will see if there is progress from here. I am coming more and more to the conclusion that they do it when they are ready and efforts before that just don't work.