For thinking my son isn't lagging when it comes to potty training?

[Writerwannabe83]

Yesterday my friend passed comment that she was surprised my 2.5 year old DS isn't potty trained yet. Her son was fully trained (wees and poo) by the time of his second birthday but I thought that was actually quite early and something to be proud of as opposed to something we should all be achieving?

My other friend has a daughter and she was fully trained by 2yrs 6m though so maybe my son is lagging? I don't know?

We're at the stage where if we are home all day and leave his nappy off he will use the potty for every wee that he has. We have to put a nappy on him at peak 'Poo Time' as I doubt he'd use the potty for that.

We have tried pull-ups and pants on him but if he is wearing either of them he will treat it as a nappy and both wee/poo in them. We haven't braved going out without a nappy on for this reason.

Admittedly, I'm not too sure what my next step is but I don't think what stage my son is at is completely outside the realms of normal?

When she passed comment to me I honestly didn't know what to say. He's my first DC so my knowledge around this milestone is pretty limited.

She just made me feel a bit crappy.

So no, not lagging at all!

in my experience (ds just over 3 now) you're about average. Most kids were doing some potty use at 2.5, all of ds's friends were trained by 3. For ds it was an instantaneous thing - he just said one day that he was wearing pants now and he did. I can't remember when it was, I think about 2.7ish.

Perfectly normal - all 3 of mine were potty trained shortly after turning 3. I think waiting makes it easier, I wouldn't have put myself through it any earlier unless they were very ready.

I always told stupid competitive types that I was sticking to nappies while I could get away with it so that their trousers would stay up. I secretly accused myself of laziness because I didn't want to go to the effort of potty training until they showed an interest, and both sons were 3 before either of them did. What I spent on nappies, I saved on carpet cleaner and washing powder. They only had one or two accidents, always aim-related rather than down to urgency, and I don't think I ever saw a wet bed.

My DM drives me nuts about potty training. She thinks I should sit them on the potty every half hour once they turn 2 till they get it. Fuck that noise. I introduced the potty to them when they were 2. I told them what it was for and I let them have some nappy free time and encouraged them to try it out. But I never forced and I never constantly put them on it.

At 3.3 DS was out at the mall with DH and he said "Daddy I need to pee" He has been dry day and night ever since.

DD is just 3. She knows what the potty is for. I tell her she can't go to school until she starts to pee and poo in the potty all the time. She does it sometimes, other times no. I figure one day it will just click like it did with DS.

In the meantime I will have to try and not strangle my mother.

Thanks everyone, I feel really reassured now.

I have tried to introduce the potty three times before but each time DS was never interested and so I didn't pursue it and just tried again a few weeks later. This time though he took to it instantly and me and DH felt so proud and happy that DS was now understanding what the potty was for and so my friend has rained on my parade as it were.

DT1 toilet trained in about 2 days at age 2.5. DT2 toilet trained at around 3.5 and still has the occasional accident if sick or tired. I tried DT2 at the same time as DT1 but she was having none of it. I used cloth nappies too so nothing to do with not knowing she was wet as disposables were too absorbent (this was spouted at me numerous times when i said she was still in nappies).

It is such an emotive subject and parents are always keen to point out when their child is good at something. Don't worry he sounds fine.

Not too late at all.
If he does all his wees in the potty that is quite good already!
Also, if you compare with other children, keep in mind that usually girls are ready a bit earlier (it was definitely the case for our B/G twins).

A tip for poos is to sit him on the potty when you know he is due one and read him stories etc. he might do one without really notiing and then he won't be scared of it. I also found a youtube video of Thomas train doing a (fake) poo on a potty, this was a bit hit here.

Don't listen to friend she's talking rubbish. I have three dc. Ds was 3 when potty trained. Dd was 18 months and I didn't have to do a thing. She just pointed at the loo one day so I sat her on it and she did a wee !! However she had about 6 urine infections over the next year and I'm convinced she potty trained to early. Anyway dd 2.8 has just had her first day in knickers all day. Had a couple of little accidents but went better than I thought. She's been using the loo for a while but for some stupid reason Iv kept her in pull ups. If u want my advice op just bite the bullet and go out with no nappies but loads of changes of clothes. I also brought the pampers disposable changing matts to put on car seat and under the throw on my new sofa just Incase.

Oh silly cow take no notice love.

My ds was at least 3 and a half before he fully got the hang. He's 26 now with s degree in engineering.

It's not a competition. It's not a race.

They're all totally different. Quick overview of the eight kids in my Nct group.

Couple dry really early. Couple dry within a week at around three. Couple stopped and started but finally have it at 3.4. One been arseing around with mixed results for six bastard months (guess who's this is?) and one hadn't started.

None of us has been issued a medal

My DD is 2.5. She suddenly decided she wanted to use the potty at 2.2 and was dry day and night within a week. Her group in nursery are aged 18months-3 and some train before or around 2, others are still in nappies at 3. My friend at work has identical twins- one was reliably trained at 2. The other just got it 2 weeks before starting school at 4. They all seem totally normal.

I wouldn't worry, he'll do it when he's ready.

I waited until my DS was ready. He had the wees sorted by the time he was between 2.5 and 3 (an only took a few days). Poos different matter. Never pooed in his pants, but refused to go on the loo or potty and requested a pull up. DH was tearing his hair out, I went down the route of he'll do it when he's ready. He was nearly 4 when he decided he was far to old to do that any more, went to the loo and never looked back.
So I'd ignore her too - definitely not lagging - they are all different.

This is a reassuring thread, I was just thinking about this today! DS is a little speech delayed so he just doesn't understand the concept of potty and would never stay on it for long enough.. He's 2.5 so I thought I'd just wait until he understands. I am happy to wait but have noticed (in my case) it's been the older generation who comment on not leaving it too late. What's the rush!?

Our son was sorted (very easily) at 2y10m but some of his friends still haven't at 3+. In hindsight we probably could have done it earlier but it would have taken longer whereas he pretty much got it from day 1.
I'm definitely in the the longer you leave it the easier it will be club.

Best advice I had from nursery owner was that if you try before they are ready it will take months of hard work. If you wait until they're ready it will take a week

This is what I did both times, so easy no running round with pottys full of excrement, no peeing on peoples carpets.

I find it cruel how some people force their dc before they are are ready. I really do. ( looking at you mil)

My friends dc was ready at two ish, she had advanced understanding and came to it easily with no issues, we are a year and a bit behind her have come to it easy with no issues.

Its ridiculous and I hope this pushing of dc before they are ready stops.

spooky we are same as you had very slight speach delay, and its mil who is the only one who cares - she set us back weeks with trying to force her out of nappies causing panic and anxiety.

One been arseing around with mixed results for six bastard months

^^ well the experts would tell you to leave it and come back to it in a few months time. it shouldn't take month and months. when they get it - it happens quickly.

My DD is 3.5 and pretty much trained for wees (tempting fate there!) so I think was 'ready'. Poos are a bloody nightmare though and I'm really starting to lose the will with it. Almost every poo is in her pants. I started off relaxed with it but am less relaxed now! I do try to bear in mind that it's not the end of the world.

So to answer your question, he absolutely is not late!

Oh I don't know, my eldest were trained somewhere between 2.5 and 3, both of them showed absolutely no interest in wanting to use the toilet. I decided that it was time because my Dd would kick, scream and fight me every time I tried to do her dirty nappy. I just couldn't do that anymore as I was pregnant and felt crap. I didn't need 3 in nappies. And she got it in a week, and I look back and think she could have done that a lot earlier. She also became massively more independent and confident as a result. So it did her no harm. But I am very conscious of not punishing accidents or makig a song an dance about 'do you need a wee' every 5 minutes. Then a year later it was DS turn. He decided to take his dirty nappy off aged 2.5 and then also curled one on the floor! He thought it hilarious, I did not, I had a 3 month old by then and I told him at that moment he had decided he was no longer using nappies. We did have a battle but with a tonne of reassurance and encouragement we got there in a couple of days. He too became a lot more independent and confident as a result.

There are kids out there who want to teach themselves and others like mine need their parents to step in and begin the process. Obviously if after a couple of days the time isn't right then I do think stopping and trying again a few weeks later is probably better than trying to persevere and causing distress to the child.

Never underestimate the power of bribery. I promised DS swimming lessons with his sister if he carried on with toilet training. He really wanted it and gave us something positive to focus on.

captain, I have tried so many bribes. We have a long running bribe that her and her big sister can go and chose a big toy they want when she starts pooing regularly in the toilet. Also short term bribes. None of them work . Would love it to work, do you think your DS was just more ready than my DD? Had really hoped the bribery would work!

Any tips gratefully received!

Can't remember how old my now teen/adult dcs were but Ds was definitely later than his two sisters.

Ds is 2.11. At nursery they like him to wear pants which he does but just wees and poos in them! I usually just have in a nappy still. He will occasionally sit on the potty but rarely produces anything and mostly just refuses point blank to sit on it. I have no idea where to go from here, bribing with sweets or stickers or books hasn't worked! He gets the concept, he just doesn't want to! So if your Ds is lagging ( which I don't think he is) mine is even further back!

DS really didn't want to use the toilet for a poo either. He'd do that poo dance trying to hold it in, he'd beg for a nappy and I'd say no, encourage him, even with tears. Remind him he could go swimming. In the end he would eventually go on the toilet. Slowly he got there, I was so tempted to give in, but I just thought we'd be stringing it out, and I didn't want to drag it out for his sake. It took about a week. He was scared, but he had to do it, he had to know it's not scary, and if I let him go back I think it would have made it even more scary. Like riding a bike, if you fall off you have to get back on and keep going otherwise you over think it and make it worse.

Thanks, will hope for some progress!