I don't think I should cook every night

[LurkyLurkerMcLurkface]

I'm on maternity leave at the moment with 8 month DS. DH works full time and is out of the house 8am-6pm. Our evening routine is pretty set, he gets in and takes DS, I get food ready for DS. He'll then sit with DS while he eats. He then does books/bath and I do final feed and settle. I then come down and cook
Every. Fucking. Night
Last night I'd had enough and cooked for myself and left him to it. He's been sulking since.
AIBU to think this should be a shared job?

Slow cookers are overrated but seemed to be loved on here. He could help prep even if he doesn't cook the full thing or he could cook one or two times a week

Fuckingbollocks what do you expect us to suggest? just let him work all day, come home, make dinner and then clean up and bathe and put the baby to bed?!

Calm down mother. The OP looks like she's making progress and without a slow cooker! Imagine that.

I don't expect anything but it is quite galling when people suggest things like they will definitely work for all babies!

Yes Jayne, and I have so little space that were i to purchase a slow cooker I'd have to get rid of my one big saucepan.

If you are at home during the day why not prepare the dinner and cook it in a slow cooker -it will be all ready for when you need it and no hassle X

Madz

Thank goodness you posted as no one else has suggested that!!!

I got a slow cooker as a wedding present 10 years ago.....ashamed to say it has never been out of the box. I'm starting to think I am seriously missing a trick....

All these people saying cook during the day etc have clearly had fairly easy children. I feel your pain op. My lg was a nightmare. DH was lucky if he came home to a showered wife, let alone cooked dinner and clean house. He should be sharing the load! You are a team.

She wants him to share the cooking load. That's the point of the thread! Duh.

Let be more specific, sharing the cooking load. It's not nice to have to do it every night, and I agree with the comment about how did he manage when they both worked? Did he not cook then either because he'd been at work all day even though she had too? If he could cope with cooking then he can cope now.

I think he should cook all dinners (or sort takeaway) at the weekends, since presumably he's not really working and you're still having to do all the childcare and housework?

Or do things split down more equally at the weekend?

You were up for four hours in the night. A perfect time to 'chuck' something in the slow cooker. Why not stick a broom up your arse and sweep at the same time? Labour saving!

if your 8 month old can't be put down for a minute or two during the whole day then I fear you have bigger issues to be worried about than who cooks the dinner.

Is this really the case OP? What are your plans when you return to work?

NataliaOsipova don't bother. Re gift it intact.

:o Terry!

I can't believe how unsympathetic so many people are on here. FGS, I'm sure she's not making it up or just sitting around eating Haribo and watching Neighbours all day.

Ha ha MrsTerry !!

Don't worry OP, the pace of things changes dramatically each month for the first few years and you'll find you get into a better groove as baby makes things easier and you get more used to this different lifestyle. But just keep talking to your DH and divvy up the cooking as suits you both. I was suggesting getting stuff sorted (even just wuickly chopped and on a plate ready to cook) earlier in the day as it will make it seem like less of a big deal when dinner time comes and two hungry adults are feeling resentful and tired. Good luck!

Have you tried either of the 15 minute meal cookbooks? They're fab, healthy, super quick and easy.

My husband works shifts often getting home after 10pm which is when we eat tea. He loves to cook (and is much better at it than I am) so will often cook when he gets home. On the other hand the kids are mostly my responsibility. I work part time so he might have them one night a week and if we're both off (doesn't happen often!) I still generally do their baths, bed etc.

Every relationship works differently, we found a way that works for us most of the time so we tend to stick with that. The main thing is to talk to each other if it does stop working for either one of you and try something different. Nothing should naturally be either person's responsibility IMHO, it's about agreeing together so no one feels hard done to.

Hope you manage to sort it out and work out a new routine that works if that's what you need to do.

I think it is a little unreasonable... he seems to do quite a lot for your ds when he gets in, as well as working. There must be points during the day when you have 30mins - 1 hour to prepare something. You need to support each other in this.

I still don't get what's so onerous about someone who works being in charge of cooking dinner a couple of times a week. As has been said on the thread already single people do it every single night!

Cooking doesn't have to be a long arduous task.

Pour some marinade on chicken breasts and bung them in the oven for 30mins serve with veg and microwaved rice or book some potatoes and mash them. You can do big batches and keep in the fridge for a couple of days.

Made a load of bolognaise and do a cottage pie with it then serve with spaghetti and salad the next night. Just stick to simple quick things.

I think you should re jig things and do this during the day and do take away or healthy ready meal once or twice a week.

Bloody hell, he parents, Op parents, she cooks, he could cook and why not?
I work part time about 6 days a month, dp works quite a bit more, I'm not expected to do the cooking every night and never would be.
What about when Op finishes mat leave....

'Cooking doesn't have to be a long arduous task.'

Well indeed. So she should pass your tips on to her DH...........