not to want others to feed my DS snacks?

[PigeonPie]

DS is 14 months old. We do activities each week and most of the other mothers appear to need to take biscuits etc along for their DCs to munch their way through during the activity. Yesterday we were at our afternoon music session; after the session (at about 4.30) there are toys for the children and tea for the parents.

I'd gone to help the teacher with the tea and when I came back I found DS with crumbs round his mouth. I said to him words to the effect of 'have you been stealing biscuits?' and another mother (who I don't know very well) said, 'oh no, he looked so longingly at the breadstick I was giving my DD that I gave him a bit, but it's ok, it's gluten and alergen free'.

I was a bit astounded at this assumption that it was ok for her to give my DS something to eat. We generally don't eat between meals and it was nearly supper time.

Now I know it was only a bit of breadstick, but the fact is DS doesn't need any extra food other than what he eats at mealtimes and I don't want him spoiling his next meal either.

And, why do parents think their DCs are going to fade away if they don't have snacks?

Sorry for the rant, I was so astounded that this woman had given my DS something that I couldn't think of anything to say to her!

My friend's daughter is lactose intolerant and a woman we know gave her a cheese sandwich because she "looked hungry"... Friend was

i would have bveen miffed it it had been a bit of mars barbut not a little piece of breadstick

personally I don't think that children will waste away without snacks but DO believe that healthy snacks are important, eating little and often is better for your digestive system.

Some children do need a small snack between meals. Mine does - we have a late-ish dinner so that we can have it as a family when DH gets home from work.

I always ask another child's parent if they can have some if they look like they are desperate for a bite of banana. Or tell them they need to ask their mummy first if they are old enough to understand.

i wouldn't be anally retentive over a bread stick tbh.

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I think the mother should have asked and not presumed it was ok but it was only a bit of breadstick and not a big biscuit or something.

At 14 months old, he needs snacks, sorry.

I definitely think the other mum should have checked with you before giving your ds anything to eat.

But i do also think that healthy snacks can be good for children and don't necessarily ruin their appetite. For example, my ds will not eat fruit after a meal but will quite happily sit with a bowl of chopped up banana or melon and feed himself at other points in the day.

Think you are being OTT. Fair enough, if she had given him a huge chunk of chocolate but a little piece of breadstick? Why is it such a big deal?

agree with others I'm afraid although normally I guess other Mums would ask before giving another child something to eat but at least it was only a breadstick and one breadstick is ot going to ruin anyone's appetite is it?

Because this time it might just have been breadstick, but next time it might be something I didn't like.

It's the fact that she didn't ask and that DS eats very well (ie a desert plate of main course for lunch as well as fruit, cheddar biscuit, rice cake, sultanas etc) and doesn't need additional food. He eats at roughly 8, 12.30ish and 4.45; I don't believe there's any time between to eat more.

two points

1. 14 month olds NEED to eat between meals so I hope when you say you 'generally don't eat between meals' you mean you have scheduled snack times

I think you're slightly over-reacting - if you were there she definitely should've asked .. but a gluten free breadstick? it couldn't get much safer than that could it?

.. gawd I thought you were about to say she'd fed him a sausage roll or custard cream

mmmmm custard creams

or a chocolate digestive, Twig? Or both! Yum

my neighbour gave dd1 a Milky Way once when I was distracted with manhandling the wheely bin back into our garden

she was made up - dd1 and the neighbour

I think you need to loosen up a tad tbh

look at his fist .. that's roughly the size of his stomach .. so that's roughly the amount of food he can eat at one sitting .. I would recommend that you think about possibly working in some snack times (fruit maybe?) say around 10am and 2.30pm?

I think its a little PFB syndrome .. but that's ok cos we all did it

everyone needs snacks, especially little ones

you'll need to get used to it because it'll probably happen a lot - the woman should have asked though, even if it was only to rule out allergies (I know she said it was gluten free but could have had soya or something else in it).

Pigeon, I think fight your battles as you come to them, don't look for things to worry about - it WAS a piece of breadstick so don't worry about a putative 'next time' and what it might be then! There is enough stuff to worry about with kids!

I feel I was an extremely protective mother with strong opinions when ds was this age (prob. still am, I guess) but I have to say I wouldn't have minded a piece of breadstick being given to ds. If he took it and ate it he was obviously hungry enough to do so and it's a very healthy snack, and I don't believe it would have ruined his appetite to have one small piece of breadstick.

You are extremely unusual if your ds can go for those time between meals, I do agree with others that most kids do need snacks in between those times, my ds certainly did and became most grumpy if he had to wait from 8 am to 12ish with nothing! Are you sure your ds doesn't need a snack, is it possible you want to create this not eating between meals thing so you are encouraging him to manage without when he infact might benefit from a healthy snack to keep his blood sugar steady throughout the day - snacktime also a very good time for fruit which makes getting 5 or 10 veg/fruit into their diet every day, easy.

4.5 hours is a very long time to go without food when your stomach is the size of a walnut and you are growing at a rate of knotts.

she was just being friendly, I think.

I don't think there's anything wrong with him having a bit of breadstick tbh, but I would be annoyed that I hadn't been asked. Yes it was only a breadstick, but like PP says it could be something else not so harmless next time.

Ds has a bad egg allergy so I have to be super vigilant, the amount of people who think a little bit of cake is ok without bothering asking me first is amazing!

I think to suggest that a baby of fourteen months have no snacks in between the meal times as you suggest is frankly bonkers. I expect the child was slavering at the sight of a breadstick.
why do you think that your ds doesn't need food apart from these times isn't really borne out by what nutritionists have to say about healthy eating patterns.
I have said it before and will say it again - you lot are BONKERS about food.
it's only a flipping breadstick. no wonder the world is going to hell in a hand cart if we can't share a little snack with a baby

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I expect she was sparing your feeling btw.
I expect your dc mugged her for the breadstick