...to be soooooo bored at in-laws.

[MissClarke86]

I know this is unfair and IABU but I am SO DAMN BORED.

We're visiting OHs parents who live a couple of hours away in a rural location where nothing happens. They are lovely people but my goodness it's so dull every time we come round.

They are old before their time and never go out so conversation is very limited.

So far I have listened to hour long discussions about the new curtains and their fabric and the cats scratching problems.

We've been to a factory outlet and spent two hours looking at work shoes.

Now we are going over old "stories" that are told literally every time we come and have to be laughed at.

It actually makes me sad that they never get away or go anywhere, they're only in their 60s. But it's their choice.

I don't even need to know if IABU... I know I am, im just so bored and writing this has at least occupied me for two minutes!

Oops ZOMBIE THREAD

I always used to take knitting, preferably with a complicated pattern, along to get me through FIL's endless monologues about the war.

Can you introduce more interesting conversation topics?

Aargh, fell for the zombie.

God it does sound bad!

In the past I found it was always up to me to make the conversation with my DPs.

Now I visit my 92 yr old father and we mostly talk about British Gas, light bulbs and his hearing aids or other minutiae which he's fussing about. But I don't mind as he's very old, widowed and his life is very small.

Last week I'd had a really intense but interesting week with my job and dealings with Ministers (who then resigned) and my Dad, as a former civil servant, would've found this very interesting in the past. Plus BoJo being forced to resign. But he only asked about me after 2.5 hours and shortly before I was due to leave.

Are you my sister perhaps? Because my parents are the same. God, I hate visiting them and I avoid doing it. I'm a terrible daughter, but I just can't help. Every time I visit them, I end up being very frustrated.

My ex’s parents were like that in their early 50s. Luckily, I went to a strict Catholic school and am excellent at looking pious or interested when screaming inside. I also. became a demon knitter and haven’t bought a jumper off the peg since 2010.

Hang in there OP. Perhaps the new baby will liven them up a bit. Congratulations by the way.

YANBU I can relate.
I don’t know how old your DC are, but why don’t you take a stack of board games. Or in this weather, a paddling pool or something to do in the garden. That way ILs can watch them and you can talk about what the DC are doing. Or ask them to teach your DC a new skill/ game that they enjoyed when they were younger. My own mother is similar, but she used to love showing the kids the old street games she played. Or go for a drive somewhere, where they can look at the view/ watch kids playing/ country park or something like that.

whats the record for the zombie?

I don’t know how old your DC are

They’re six years older than they were when the thread was started.

I know it is a zombie thread but I feel it has a timeless quality.

Inspired thinking.
I'm going to use this next time I need to be seen at something entirely predictably boring af.

It does have a timeless quality.

I'm probably going to hell but I'm howling at this:
Joan wasn't on the bus last week. It turned out she'd died.

Fuck, zombie thread

Oh Christ it was just like this with my outlaws. They'd come and collect me, ExH and the DC every Sunday for lunch at theirs (we didn't have a car), at increasingly early times. MIL outdid herself when she turned up at 8am once 🙄

Then we'd be sitting in their sweltering living room with sport on TV, whilst FafferIL spent HOURS cooking lunch, which we'd never get before 4pm and was always burned. We'd usually get home at 6.30/7 after an entire day of MIL talking about how amazing her other prick sons are.

I don't miss it one bit, you have my sympathy!

It is a special kind of hell, which you only understand if you've got ones that you can't stand. Jettisoning the in-laws was one of the more joyful by products of getting divorced.

My in laws were like this. It used to make me feel like crying in frustration, especially because MIL directs all her conversation at me and DH used to disappear upstairs to escape as soon as he could (I put a stop to this after a while of course). They also acted like geriatrics when they were in their 60s.

Then they separated and FIL has since passed away. Unfortunately the separation seems to have turned MIL into a bitter narcissist, so instead of mind-numbingly boring conversations I now have to listen to nasty comments and put up with very poor behaviour.

She comes out with things she knows will piss me off like out of the blue saying "I don't think gay people should be allowed to have children", or "I'd never get IVF it's a waste of money and it's terrible" (this was her only comment to me after being told we were having IVF treatment). I usually ignore her but it's bloody hard.

I'd take the boring old days over this behaviour any day of the week! I know it's hard but it could be worse!

@BitchyLittleSpinster

Child will be six by now!

From their point of view, they might be seeing you as someone who is always on her phone. Try to put up with it for your husband's sake.

I don't have the best relationship with my in-laws but I can't imagine feeling so uncomfortable with them that I felt bad reading a book or playing on my phone around them. Maybe it's coz we only love 5 minutes up the road from each other. Of course we talk and are interested on each other's lives but we also accept that we're different people from different generations and aren't necessarily going to have 8 hours worth of riveting conversation. It sounds like your ILs live somewhere quite picturesque too. I don't think it's unreasonable if they refuse to take their butts off the sofa that you tell them (don't ask) that you're going for a stroll. I think you're overthinking it. Just do whatever is needed to keep you all sane x

One reason at 60 that I refuse to live anywhere that hasn't got at least a bit of buzz. My father in law aged 10!years when he moved to a village in a somewhat crappy part of country to please his partner who had family there. She died 3 years ago and he's now 82 and stuck somewhere he doesn't like and doesn't seem to have the energy to move. We hate visiting and tend to encourage him to come to us- my brother in law and his family feel the same. I like seeing him as he's actually a nice guy , but even the area round him, there's little to do, not many nice places to go and you feel rude if you are on your phone for hours or reading the papers- I sympathise OP

I have the same with my PILs. They are in their 80s but all MIL talks about is dying which she’s been saying for 10 years! FIL talks about his old jobs every time we go round. They never want the tv on. Turn it off so we can talk as it’s ‘rude’ to have tv on when you have visitors.

I know the OP and can confirm child is now nearly 6 😂

It's a zombie thread but it's also a metaphor, "feels like six years!"

This thread is sad and funny at the same time. Even if its old.

This is an amusing thread!
What struck me was positive rather than negative.
Your in-laws are clearly very comfortable in that they do not feel the need to deviate from their normal behaviour when they have guests. Their schedule doesn't change, nor do their TV viewing habits. I find that quite nice actually. They are not trying to be someone different or putting on a show.
I know you are suffering in their presence!! But I just wanted to share my observation.