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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be soooooo bored at in-laws.

104 replies

MissClarke86 · 25/09/2016 15:48

I know this is unfair and IABU but I am SO DAMN BORED.

We're visiting OHs parents who live a couple of hours away in a rural location where nothing happens. They are lovely people but my goodness it's so dull every time we come round.

They are old before their time and never go out so conversation is very limited.

So far I have listened to hour long discussions about the new curtains and their fabric and the cats scratching problems.

We've been to a factory outlet and spent two hours looking at work shoes.

Now we are going over old "stories" that are told literally every time we come and have to be laughed at.

It actually makes me sad that they never get away or go anywhere, they're only in their 60s. But it's their choice.

I don't even need to know if IABU... I know I am, im just so bored and writing this has at least occupied me for two minutes!

OP posts:
Original poster
MissClarke86 · 25/09/2016 16:23

I know I'm being rude by being on my phone but I really can't spend 5 hours watching darts.

Im not rude to them in real life, I'm very polite and just venting here...

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 25/09/2016 16:23

Could you get a Fitbit next time and say you have to do 30,000 steps each day and you'd better get going?

Blerg · 25/09/2016 16:23

I don't know, it is probably a bit more exciting now. I hear you on the mundane conversations and factory outlet visits. Babies help though, because they take up attention and you can go and change them etc. Or pretend they need changing...

Salmotrutta · 25/09/2016 16:26

I'm siding with MagicChanges here.

It won't kill you to be polite and interested for a couple of hours.

Playing Candy Crush on your phone when visiting someone? How rude.

You'll be that older person one day who maybe finds they have narrowed horizons for one reason or another.

Original poster
MissClarke86 · 25/09/2016 16:27

Yes when our baby arrives it will be better - instant conversation starter I guess.

Were leaving now, thank you for keeping me sane for the last half hour!

OP posts:
Original poster
MissClarke86 · 25/09/2016 16:28

The problem is I actually find it incredibly socially awkward to make small talk and keep eye conversation when I have no interesting response. I'm not trying to be rude I just find it almost painful.

OP posts:
SemiNormal · 25/09/2016 16:28

I agree with MagicChanges - in fact their probably sat there wishing you'd hurry up and leave, maybe that's their reason for the mundane conversation, they want to bore you out of there as quickly as possible! I'd be majorly pissed off if people came to visit and then they were just on their phone the whole time.

Original poster
MissClarke86 · 25/09/2016 16:28

And FIL is on his iPad too. Gadgets are quite the norm here.

OP posts:
ProfYaffle · 25/09/2016 16:29

Yes, I have to say it got much easier for me when the dc arrived. When they were little I at least had something to do, plus with a small baby it was actually nice to go there and have meals cooked for me.

Once they got a bit older we started taking them out to local tourist attractions. PIL didn't/don't come with us but at least we get out of the house.

Original poster
MissClarke86 · 25/09/2016 16:40

I wasn't on my phone the whole time, only for the last half hour and so was everyone else. It's quite normal behaviour here.

OP posts:
randomer · 25/09/2016 16:43

eek what is there to say about work shoes?

user1474816749 · 25/09/2016 16:47

Hi all I'm new to this. first post with my catchy new name. Miss Clarke I feel your pain I really do but you must also share mine. I dream of the ILs living a couple of hrs away so I could loose the odd weekend. Mine live 3,695 miles away give or take 40 miles to the airports. I did 3 weeks this summer day after day. Oh my goodness. I was looking for things to repair in their house I was soooo *ucking bored. 106f in the shade and I was on the roof clearing gutters. 103f fixing their car, no thanks. Saved them 700+ dollars! I just have to give the Mrs time with her parents. I never want to go again. I just end up on the webbie net and drinking far much wine... As someone else said a baby will alter the dynamic some what. Good luck with the baby :-).

DoreenLethal · 25/09/2016 16:51

My in laws sit and watch sports, talk about sports and then wax lyrical about how she hates sports and does jigsaws all weekend whilst he watches sports.

I hate sports. If we were there for longer than 2 hours which is our max, I'd be looking to go for a walk just to get away from the fucking sports. I do mention when I am there how I cannot stand sports and never watch it and the drone just bores me rigid but hey ho.

Witchend · 25/09/2016 16:51

My funniest moment was when dh said one Christmas:
Christmas letters from old people usually just say "we went on holiday and got a new car."
Pil letter arrived and guess what it said (in a long winded sort of way)
We refer to it every Christmas when their letter comes.Grin

Oldraver · 25/09/2016 16:53

My folks are getting like this... we went to see them a few weekends ago....Mum had already said she couldn't put us all up so me and OH stayed in a hotel and the two boys, 10 and 30 (so quite self sufficient) stayed at Mums. Within half an hour of us getting to theirs on the Sunday Mum had gone off for a lie down and Dad had returned to his room to watch tv. We sat for a while twiddling our thumbs and decided to head home early.

BackforGood · 25/09/2016 16:53

Why not say you are trying to ensure you do 10 000 steps a day, so, if they don't mind you are just going out for a walk for an hour ?

RubbishMantra · 25/09/2016 16:55

"We've got darts on the TV now and are still talking about work shoes"

Sorry OP, but Grin , it sounds like those really boring plays that you got on BBC2 when nothing else was on.

Try to look at the situation as if you were doing a documentary on "The Species Known As In-Laws", David Attenborough style.

It sounds like Purgatory!

RubbishMantra · 25/09/2016 16:58

Or imagine it as a depressing Danish art house film.

crje · 25/09/2016 17:04

Mine are the same
Just back from lunch there,
was hard work!!!
Same stories for the last 20yrs
They are 75 now but acted
the same at 55!
I think rural living is very aging.

ChopsticksandChilliCrab · 25/09/2016 17:05

Oldraver I'm glad your 30 year old DS is self sufficient Grin

itsmine · 25/09/2016 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

randomer · 25/09/2016 17:08

work shoes? brown or black with a sturdy sole. have i missed something?

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet · 25/09/2016 17:08

If they don't mind you playing with a phone whilst they talk, there is your salvation. Take an iPad, load it up with lots of quiet games and books, occupy yourself on that and say "Mmm" from time to time.

Original poster
MissClarke86 · 25/09/2016 17:09

You're not reading my response properly. I was on my phone for all of 30 minutes, and they were on devices too. It's not rude if the hosts are doing it! We've left now. Plus to be honest, having darts on the TV while you have guests (and know they're not interested) is also rude.

OP posts:
MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 25/09/2016 17:35

I would take knitting or crotchet. Then at least you can achieve something and the ILs might be interested in it.

Are they expecting you to visit with a new baby? IMO you should make it clear that they have to visit you and bring food.