to secretly get rid of our kitten and tell the DC that it ran away?

[SaggyBaggyPuss]

Have had kitten for around 6 weeks now. DC have wanted a pet for a long time and I gave in and got one for them. Cats are easier to deal with than dogs right?

Well today, I have had enough. I had have to scoop 3 lots of shit out of the litter box and there was a piece of shit on the floor that must have come off her paws and which means that the whole house, and sofa is now covered in cat shit germs puke!

It also runs up the curtains which are now all pulled. My leather --look- dining chairs have scratch marks where it keeps jumping up the back of them and it has pulled up the carpet on the stairs.

DS (6) is constantly chasing it round the house with an incessant cackle (over excited, not cruelly, the cat loves him) which does my head in and keeps taking it upstairs to lie on his bed.

Last week, it has a runny arse and I still have the wounds where I had to bath it, not before it spread kitty shit germs everywhere again.

As a side note, I also suffer from OCD. Not 'a bit' but actually diagnosed.

I love my DCs to bits but they also love the kitty a lot. I am not sure I can put them first this time!

WIBU to find a good home for it and tell them it ran off into the forest and I couldn't find it

Instead of bitching and whining about it having diarrhoea, take the poor thing to the vets and get it sorted. It's probably not all that much fun for the kitten either to be fair. Yes yabu for getting an animal without researching/understanding the responsibility that would be involved and then instead of taking responsibility for it, just feeling like you can dispose of the animal like unwanted rubbish. Completely unreasonable in fact. And don't get me started about lying to your child about it.

I understand the extreme responses. This is a life and death situation!

The replies are massively over the top. I thought the op was wiping her paws because they were covered in shit. This is pretty normal while they are learning and often their poo can be runny while young - I remember this from when I bought a kitten aged 15 and did most of the care, including taking him to the vets for neutering/vaccinations/illness etc and defleaing him - I lived with my dad who was the official owner. Once they are settled and used to being outside they are much easier, well the typically moggie rather than pedigree. If your older kids are teens they should be doing more and shouldn't be surprised if you rehome her given their apathy. I wouldn't lie to them, this rehoming would be the consequence of them breaking their promise and a valuable lesson.

Saying that, we don't have a cat now and I'm not sure we ever will despite being a big cat person (I'm also allergic). They are a big responsibility and do make some mess with fur and little gifts - dead mice or fleas. Rehoingng now will give her a better chance of finding a nice home and getting used to their kids/other pets while young. Rehoming adults is harder. I note the OP did say shed find her a nice home so there's no implication of dumping or abandoning the cat - ridiculous replies!

Re home it tell the kids the truth the cat sounds stressed you are stressed and children are chasing the poor kitten about the house you are not able to care for a kitten you have taken on to much but you made a mistake it happens but if you cant cope then re home sooner rather than later.

It would really affect me if we had a cat (or dog) because I would be paranoid about the germs on its paws, it's tongue. I would be constantly cleaning the kitchen and the surfaces, vacuuming the floors, I would hate it.

I like (other people's) cats, but I won't eat at a house where they have cats. I can actually picture the germs all over the place like cat paw prints in the snow. I just can't do it. It makes me incredibly anxious.

I would have to rehome the kitten if I was you. Living in that state of anxiety would make me poorly.

Waitrose are you saying that because of that one incident (your parent saying that your cat had run away when it hadn't) you are nc? No other reason(s)? Because of that one thing you are not talking to your parent ever again?!

Yes Wilber of course I am...

Another posibility is the food you're giving it isn't right.
Maybe to rich for it's stomach to digest.
Try encore that's available from supermarkets now as it's just mainly pieces of either chicken or fish.

So it's not really relevant then is it? The op's kids are not going to go nc with her because she got rid of their kitten..

Ok

You can't just get rid by re-homing and lying about it, its not the way to handle it.

If you really, absolutely cannot cope with the cat because of your OCD, then you need to sit them all down and explain to them properly why you feel the cat needs rehoming.

I'm not going to condemn you for trying to do something nice, and then realising it was too much.

However, if there is some way around this, then please keep trying.. they are hard work at first, any baby is.. it will get better :) Don't make any rash decisions.

Wilber I corrected my own spelling mistake. Take a deep breath and re-read.

You are most certainly thick if you believe giving a shit about the welfare of animals is in anyway militant.

Yes, people make mistakes, but this is a big mistake, her kids will be very hurt and the defensive/blame avoiding attitude of the OP shows that she's probably not actually learnt anything either.

Why do you think the government spend so much money every year advertising that a pet is for life not just for Christmas? If OP can't find a suitable rehome then the cat will end up in a shelter. Whose paying for that?

What kind of response were you expecting to this post? Did you genuinely not expect most people to point out that you had been stupid, irresponsible and thoughtless to get the kitten in the first place? The "problems" you describe were all foreseeable and to be anticipated with a new kitten, but you were unable as an adult and a parent to stand firm and explain to your children that they could not have something they wanted. And now you propose tricking and lying to your children to get out of the situation you have created. What a fantastic role model you are. I suspect you were looking to provoke a reaction with this post - although you feign surprise at the "hysteria" - or perhaps that is something else you genuinely did not consider in advance? Please rehome this kitten via Cats Protection, they will find an owner who can commit to providing stability and a forever home.

My Mother is a narcissist. Not caring about animals (or people, tbf) is a narcissistic trait. It was not fair of the op to get an animal she couldn't cope with. It was certainly not putting her children or the animal first. Telling her children it has run away will make them think they've done something wrong.
She may be a wonderful mother in every other way and this is the only shitty thing she has ever done. Who knows....but this is a shitty thing to do.

Reading the full thread I'm really wishing I hadn't engaged with Wilber who seems to have a problem with everyone on here.

Another thought op. Where did you get the kitten? Are you sure it has been properly cared for and was old enough to leave its mother?

From what you've said you really shouldn't have a pet. If you can't cope with the grubbiness that having animals brings then don't have one.

I think you should re-home it and get something more suitable. Maybe hamsters/gerbils/rats would be safer as they tend to stay put!

Why do you think the government spend so much money every year advertising that a pet is for life not just for Christmas

Umm...I don't think it's the government doing these adverts!

We have just got a cat from a rescue shelter(estimated 2 years old).She had diarrhoea and we are feeding her chicken until it settles,we too were feeding royal canine.She was chipped this week and has been going out this weekend and all indoor scratching has stopped.Wee did the lemon and oil thing on wooden furniture and a spray stuff on the sofa sides.The curtain thing will stop soon.O nice it's allowed out t will use the litter tray less or not at all.
Your kids love the kitten and despite hating it you seem to be caring.The problem is your OCD ,you need to focus on reducing the impact that is having.

OP, if you do decide to rehome, please don't lie to your children and say that it ran away. My mother did exactly that when I was a child and I was heartbroken when I found out and found it very hard to forgive her. Children deserve to know the truth, whether your intentions are well meaning which I'm sure they are, it's disrespectful to lie just for your own convenience sake.

Today 15:49 Costacoffeeplease

Rehome the kitten responsibly
Tell your kids the truth
Never get another living, breathing animal, that acts like a perfectly normal living, breathing animal
Grow up

Excellent summary.

I don't doubt you are treating the cat well but IMO it was irresponsible of you to get one just because the kids wanted one, without thinking through the hassle that comes with them as kittens.

They are not just cute balls of fluff that play with toys. They shit, piss, scratch and run around. The kitten is just being a kitten. It's little trained but obviously you have to clean it out - you must have known that? When they're young they're often a bit clumsy and will accidentally stand in the shit from time to time. It's normal.

Rehome it if you must but don't lie to the kids. To be honest it gets much easier when cats get older, and I would be tempted to say you made a commitment when you took the animal on, and you should see it through the difficult phases. But it's quite clear you don't want it, hopefully it will find a loving home.

Its a shame it will be joining the thousands of other cats looking for homes because people got them as kittens and got rid when the cuteness wore off and when they realised that cats cost money, have claws, and need to be looked after.

Rehome and tell your DC the truth, otherwise your 6yo might tell people at school, someone will have a kitten he can have and you'll be pressured into replacing the kitten you love so much and were gutted when she 'ran away'

Or don't.
I really don't care anyway .

YANBU to rehome the cat, better to admit now that you can't cope then to let the situation drag out unnecessarily. I do think you should've put more thought into getting a pet in the first place though if your OCD is that bad, all of the things you describe are completely normal cat behaviours and totally foreseeable.

YWBVVA to tell your children that it ran away. My cat went missing on bonfire night when I was a child and for years afterwards I would think about her and upset myself with thoughts of what might have happened to her. Plus as a PP said, they'll only pester you for another pet. Be honest with them.

Royal Canin has a lot of grains/cereals in it, which cats are intolerant to. Applaws (80% meat, no grains) would be a much better choice, IMO.

Tracking poo - as others have mentioned, you can get special mats to place the litter tray on. Use a lidded litter tray, with about 3" of litter in it. But proper solid stools don't stick to their paws.

Have you taken her to the vets (with a fresh poo sample) to find out the cause of her runny bum? My kitten had a bit of a runny bum when he came to me, a quick swipe with an H20 babywipe sorted that, No need for baths. How do you feel about cleaning up cat sick/hairballs?

Now - think ahead. She will have a moult when the central heating season starts. When she's old, she may develop arthritis, or another condition that causes her to have accidents outside her tray. In between then and now, she will most likely go through a stage of bringing you presents, sometimes alive, sometimes dead and smeared about the place.

However, if you can't cope with a runny bum or a bit of poo tracking now, I don't fancy this little kittens chances at having a happy life with you. I'd urge you to re-home responsibly ASAP, kittens are easier to re-home than neurotic cats, which I fear yours will grow into if she stays in your household. Neurotic cats shit and piss lavishly, anywhere and anywhere.

Be truthful with DCs, don't tell them she's run away, that would have kept me awake at nights as a child (and would now, if one of mine ran away.)

Another voice saying please rehome ASAP. There has been some really good advice from experienced cat people, but something tells me that this situation is not going to get any better if the kitten stays, because I don't think the will to make it work is there.

And PLEASE don't lie to your kids and say it has "run off".