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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sleep with dd tonight and leave dh with no bedding?

76 replies

CatThiefKeith · 24/09/2016 19:52

I have a camper van, and last night we took dd (5) camping.

I loaded everything into it yesterday (whilst working from home) did both school runs, did dd's homework with her when she came in, and we set off at 5pm when dh finished work.

Camped fine, he made the fire, I cooked on it.

Got up this morning, I straightened the camper while he and dd played in the woods, I washed the plates/grill etc and then we came home as dd had a party at 11.

Deal was I did the party, he unloaded the van. Just noticed our duvet/pillows are not on the bed. Angry

In summary, his sole contribution was to make a fire and empty the fridge when we got back.

WIBU to go to bed and leave it? He is working tonight (DJ) so it will be a right arse to do at 3am but will be a good consequence for being a lazy bastard IMO.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 24/09/2016 21:08

2 people on this thread think I'm being petty and both have 'Maddie/Maddy' in their usernames... What are the odds? Shock

OP posts:
BarryTheKestrel · 24/09/2016 21:09

Do it. Leave it there and when you find him cold, asleep on the sofa in his clothes in the morning because he still didn't get the duvet out of the van. I once asked DH to make the bed before he went out DJing - I was heavily pregnant and couldn't be arsed - he didn't so I locked myself in the spare room and slept there in peace and comfort, without being woken up at 4am when he comes in.

ample · 24/09/2016 21:12

Because maddiemookins

  1. CatThief will feel so much better
  2. No one will really be harmed
  3. Lessons need to be learned

Please do it, CatThief

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 24/09/2016 21:12

I would. Thats what ya get for being a lazy fuck.

Oh and its not being petty.

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 24/09/2016 21:18

Barry he won't freeze on the sofa. It's 21 degrees in here and I have a basket of throws if he gets desperate.

The hamster on his wheel might drive him batshit though! Grin

OP posts:
Planty18 · 24/09/2016 21:28

I'd totally do it, but I would also be willing to bet that there still won't be a duvet on your bed in the morning, he will grab a sleeping bag out of the van or use a throw. Do it though.

MaddyHatter · 24/09/2016 21:31

we aren't the same person CTK.. i've been using this name for a while and been here under various ones since 2006.

I've no idea who the other Maddie is.

mrsmuddlepies · 24/09/2016 21:36

Did you say he was working tonight? Yet you are so set on 'teaching him a lesson'. I agree with Maddy that You sound unbelievably petty and spiteful. Wonder how posters would view it if the roles were reversed? You said he played with your daughter. Yet 'lessons need to be learned'. Imagine if a man said that about his wife?
I shall bookmark this thread as an example of nasty, spiteful behaviour. I hope you are not as malicious in real life.

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge · 24/09/2016 21:41

I wouldn't do it. It's a pain that you have to do it when he should have during the day but I can't see it worth making it such a big deal that will possible end up carrying on into tomorrow.

I'm old and laid back these days and I always forget to put the bin out, buy loo roll, take the bread out of the freezer so we both spend time FFs'ing each other Smile

Mycraneisfixed · 24/09/2016 21:49

I'm old and laid back too. So laid back that I'd happily sleep in DD's bed and let DH have the bed to himself...with whatever bedding he likesSmile

plominoagain · 24/09/2016 21:53

OP was working yesterday when she managed to load it up completely - and why does the fact that he played with HIS daughter somehow manage to render him immune from doing his part of this afternoons jobs ?

I rather suspect that OP would be quite happy if the roles had been reversed TBH - would have been much less effort .

Spiteful my ass .

Nanny0gg · 24/09/2016 21:55

Spiteful?

Oh for heaven's sake!

mrsmuddlepies · 24/09/2016 22:05

Yes, spiteful. He is working tonight. Not out on the razzle and yet the poster wants to teach him a lesson. Have you spent your life teaching people 'lessons' Nanny Ogg?

ratspeaker · 24/09/2016 22:05

I'm going to try those vacuum bags to store the duvets in. To save on space.
Just shove them in and sit on the bags until the air is out.
I do that with spare bedding in the house.

The way my van is currently set up I can have the bed made up all the time but thats if Im the only one using it. DH needs more room being 6ft so need to go back to the folding table/ longer bed set up.

MaddyHatter · 24/09/2016 22:08

i dont think its spiteful at all.. tbh, i just think its petty and a little childish.

While CTK has a right to be pissed off with him, i just think its better to go get the bedding, have a good nights sleep and speak to him about like an adult tomorrow.. rather than being petty to make a point.

If you are going to do it, at least leave the van keys where he can find them so he can get the bedding.

WhatWouldCoachBombayDo · 24/09/2016 22:13

You are all better people than me, not only would I leave the bedding in the van, I'd open the bedroom window so it was a cold room with no bedding Blush

Landoni112 · 24/09/2016 22:18

Yanbu!

Youarenotprepared · 24/09/2016 22:18

I'd leave the bedding in the van but leave the keys easy to find. It may be childish but fuck it sometimes you just need to do these things rather than spend your life picking up the slack for a lazy partner and it building into massive resentment.

MsJudgemental · 24/09/2016 22:22

You are not being spiteful at all. I have a similar issue with my husband. I plan the trip, book the trip, do the packing, do the driving, sort out the hotel room or tent, do all the talking if we're abroad. His job is is to load and unload the car, and put up the tent if we're camping. Somehow, this is all too much afford. We once went to London for a gig- we had an argument about his lack of engagement when going away, so I told him to sort himself out. He didn't take me seriously, so we ended up going away with him not even having a change of underpants.

MsJudgemental · 24/09/2016 22:23

Too much effort!

MostlyHet · 24/09/2016 22:24

Go for it OP. I'd be fucking fuming if I'd done all the work for the camping trip, all the chores today while he did sweet FA, and the only thing he was meant to do he didn't do!

PacificDogwod · 24/09/2016 22:29

YANBU.

Do it.
You and DD will enjoy a lovely cuddly night together and your DH will not come to any harm.

Whether he'll actually get the message is an entirely different question though HmmGrin

Hope you had a good camping trip though.

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 25/09/2016 01:40

Fell asleep on the sofa so sorry for lack of replies.

To be clear, once again, I would LOVE to come home from work, be driven to the campsite, build a fire and then be absolved of all responsibility, and have my demand met, then build a fire, have my dinner cooked, and push dd in a rope swing for half an hour before being driven home to watch tv all day.

But that's not real life is it?

Fwiw I've spent this evening doing was king for Monday and prepping for a meeting in Monday. Apart from falling asleep on the sofa for 3 hours I've been working too.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 25/09/2016 01:52

He probably didn't realise or think about the bedding being in the van. At the very least you could bring it in and just place on top of the bed and leave him to make it.

I don't see this as being more unusual than a Saturday, when DCs were younger and I'd bath them, cook, feed, and iron their clothes.

It all appears petty to not even bring it in, although I know the feeling of doing so many of the tasks.

Careforadrink · 25/09/2016 01:59

Spiteful my arse

Sick to the back teeth of the entrenched misogyny that enables some men to get away with what they do.

Do it op