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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be a bit down about this?

67 replies

pinkamenadianepie · 24/09/2016 16:48

My birthday is soon on a Friday and it looks like I'm going to be all alone.
My DD will be at school and my gf will be working 8-8.
I'm a bit down because my GF has booked her holiday at work for her birthday and the 10 days after, she could have used a day to keep me company or to do something special. To make matters worse she works Monday to Wednesday and has booked herself in for 4 hours at a spa the Thursday before and then has work the 3 days after.
Its not a special birthday mind, just another day really I guess.
Still is it a bit crap or AIBU and sensitive.

OP posts:

Bloopbleep · 24/09/2016 19:33

*best not beatbox (wtaf?)

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 24/09/2016 19:38

YANBU

I mean, I'm heartless about birthdays, partner and I often spend them working. Even the kids don't get a day off from nursery or whatever.

But in your case, your partner has taken 11 (ELEVEN!) days off for her own birthday, it looks like there was no discussion or consensus with you. Your birthday is very close to hers, and should have been part of any discussion. It's a bit mean of her just to say 'it's booked, tough'. She could have been sorry and sympathetic, and arranged a fun weekend (for example) to make it up to you.

I'd be very disappointed if DH arranged funsies with a colleague while leaving me at the side around my birthday time. Especially if he got a treat (like a spa) while I didn't.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 24/09/2016 19:38

P.S. you're not being a ninny.

I don't think you actually need her to take a day off. I think you want her to show some consideration.

Cherrysoup · 24/09/2016 19:48

Brutally, I think your DP is being a bitch-she wants to spend her birthday with her family? Aren't you and the DD her family? Yes, I would have saved a day for your birthday, my DH does it if he can.

diddl · 24/09/2016 19:52

Even if a day couldn't be saved for Op's bday, pissing off for nearly all of her holiday without Op & expecting Op to take her is just awful.

Atenco · 24/09/2016 20:01

Well your DP obviously organises her birthday the way she wants to celebrate it, so you should take a leave out of her book, that is what birthdays are for.

Mycraneisfixed · 24/09/2016 20:13

Those first responses were rather mean! You're not needy, you're normal. However old you are no-one wants to feel neglected on their birthday. Is your GF usually so thoughtless? If she is maybe you need to rethink your relationship. You attend to your DD's need. Who attends to yours?

Groaningmyrtle · 24/09/2016 20:17

Sorry OP but your girlfriend seems to be taking you completely for granted. I'm all for independent friendships and enjoying time apart. But your girlfriend seems to see you as the person to do the practical stuff, while she does the fun stuff with other people.

I just don't think this is healthy for a relationship to be that out of balance. I'm not a massive birthday person but I'd go pretty apeshit if my DP didn't expect to do anything at all to mark it or ask what I would like to do. It wouldn't have to be expensive or even to happen on the day. It's just important to feel that you're being valued.

Optimist3 · 24/09/2016 20:19

Haven't you got friends to meet up with?

Optimist3 · 24/09/2016 20:20

Maybe get your diaries together well in advance and book time together

ShelaghTurner · 24/09/2016 21:49

Hold up. Let me confirm that day 2 of her hols you're to drive her home then piss off back to where you came from. Then on the last day of her hols you get to go and get her and bring her back?? And in return she has made zero effort for your birthday?

Bollocks to that. I'd be pointing her in the direction of the station and a lot more besides. She sounds utterly self centred.

Lovemylittlebear · 24/09/2016 21:51

Oh man that's s bit crap :(

Peppapogstillonaloop · 24/09/2016 22:37

Sorry but that is super crap. So she is basically going on holiday for a week at her parents while you are at home looking after your kid? And she booked this without any question to you? And has completely ignored your birthday to go out with a work colleague? Is she always like this? Is the relationship otherwise amazing? I fail to see what you are getting back from her at all. If your gf was a man he would be getting an absolute roasting on here for that kind of behaviour.

NoFucksImAQueen · 25/09/2016 20:21

Is your relationship always so one sided?

northernmonkey1010 · 25/09/2016 20:31

Is your partner younger than yourself?

IrrelevantSquirrel · 25/09/2016 20:43

She sounds more like another child you have to look after rather than a partner. She should make her own travel arrangements for a start, you're not a taxi service. If you're upset about your birthday then you should discuss it and try to fit something in. Hope you find something fun to do, even if it's just you.

metaphoricus · 25/09/2016 21:29

FWIW I've spent most of my birthdays doing what I do every day, as DH's job means it's difficult to commit to a day off if something important is happening at work - often he's working away during the week anyway so would have to come back just for a day. I don't have any family nearby - so it's just be a day like any other. Having said that, I don't really mind too much - my family never really made much of birthdays anyway - and my DH makes it up by us going somewhere special at the earliest opportunity.

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