AIBU to be a bit down about this?

[pinkamenadianepie]

My birthday is soon on a Friday and it looks like I'm going to be all alone.
My DD will be at school and my gf will be working 8-8.
I'm a bit down because my GF has booked her holiday at work for her birthday and the 10 days after, she could have used a day to keep me company or to do something special. To make matters worse she works Monday to Wednesday and has booked herself in for 4 hours at a spa the Thursday before and then has work the 3 days after.
Its not a special birthday mind, just another day really I guess.
Still is it a bit crap or AIBU and sensitive.

but you can talk to her about how you feel

Is this symptomatic of feeling neglected in general or is it really all about the birthday?

Like I say, it wasn't an issue because wed been saying we could do something before the actual day, I took that to mean the day before, she books a spa without thinking about my birthday.
He holidays she booked on the spot when her manager said she has to get them booked before December as noones is allowed holidays in December or January. So she used them all for that block after her birthday, when she told me I did say about my birthday, but she didn't think at the time, the manager just pushed her to get them booked.

It was a bit thoughtless though 🤔

Treat yourself to something lovely for lunch after you've been for a walk/visited a gallery or done something a bit different in the morning, after the school run. Then when you collect your child from school, instead of going home, go out for something to eat with her - most pubs are child-friendly and it would be a treat for her as well as you. Buy a bottle of Prosecco (or the tipple of your choice) and crack it open when your girlfriend gets home from work. It's your birthday, it's a big deal. Have a lovely day.

IT would have been nice for her to do something for you (especially as she's got you running about so she has a nice time on hers). Yes you could do something special after school run, but sometimes that can feel even lonelier. (Bitter experience). No real solution but a 🍷And a 🎂. I had a shit birthday too.

I dont feel neglected or isolated etc.
I'm normally quite happy pottering about, house work, child rearing stuff, etc.

Hey ho, mauybe I'll binge some Netflix rubbish.
I'd go to a museum or art gallery but I've been to all the local ones too many times, I could travel I guess, maybe that would be fun? Travel off to a place I've never been have a nosy around.
Not a bad idea actually.

For all those saying it's weird to take a days leave for OHs birthday, I don't think it's weird at all! We always take a day off for each other's birthday and make it special. As do all the people in my family, it's nice not weird. Unless you have a job which means you really can't do that (teacher for example) then I see no excuse really.

Am I reading it right that she has booked ten days off and is spending them all in our home town without you and dd?

OP I'd be fucked off too as she's being pretty inconsiderate-the didn't even think about it comment re the Spa day speaks volumes tbh.
Buy yourself some lush chocs or whatever is your thing & watch shite on Netflix, read, soak in a bubbly bath with a gin?

Who the hell takes annual leave for family birthdays?

My DP does for my birthdays and one time he even did for my mums birthday.

Not all of her days off in home town, her actual birthday we're going to the city shopping. The day after I'll take her down, DD and I can't stop down there due to school so we'll come back, then I'll go get her on her last day off so she can get home for work the next day.

Can't she get the train?

I can see why you feel down tbh. I live my birthday and like to have my family around me. I dont mean in an 'all about me' sense, just a nice dinner and some time together. I want to feel like dh cares enough to organise something, otherwise it's just like any other day. Your gf has been really thoughtless. Plus spending the majority of her holiday in a different town away from you. That's unfair and not very family orientated.

No, too expensive, too many chanchanges, takes too long too.

You sound pretty put upon to be honest. I wouldn't be too inclined to take her when my own birthday had been such a low priority. I would let her get the train and lump it.

So she wants to spend most of her holiday somewhere else and expects you to take her there and collect het?

Bloody hell!

And not a thought for your birthday?

Hopefully you can arrange something on the evening of your birthday when she has finished work.

Well after the first replies I thought I was being a big ninny. I'm glad that maybe I'm not being a big ninny.

I never seem to have a nice birthday . Husband never bothers to get me a card children sometimes get me nice things a bit hit and miss.
This year I chose my birthday a day on my own and out for dinner later. Grown up kids were going to pop in about five after work.

Had it all worked out and then got a stomach bug spent the day being sick so I am sure it will be better than mine.

Think your girlfriend is a prick tbh a selfish one at that.

It's totally acceptable to expect a decent day for your birthday!! Your gf is a bit selfish imo. Have a lovely day whatever you do anyway!

It sounds like you are both a little selfish, but you less so.

I meant if she doesn't feel the need to be there for you for your birthday then maybe you should say no to her. A relationship can't be all one sided with the giving.

"Think your girlfriend is a prick tbh a selfish one at that."

Does sound so from what Op has written.

Beatbox birthday present ever is getting to spend the day alone! For me anyway