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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not announcing my pregnancy on FB.

52 replies

lalaland1985 · 24/09/2016 14:09

My dh and I have made a conscious decision to not announce my pregnancy on FB.

Am I in the minority to think that sharing my scan picture is a bit tacky? I just plan on telling family and friends as I see them. Might do a group message.

AIBU to do it this way?

OP posts:
Whatsername17 · 24/09/2016 15:36

I did with my pfb. It seemed like a quick and convenient way to announce to the world. With my second, I miscarried late into the first trimester and after going through that I found birth and pregnancy announcements really hard. I should add: I never begrudged other people's announcements at all. I just found it hard. With my current (3rd) pg I decided not too. I just didn't want to think that my (albeit innocent and lovely) news might appear on someone's phone and cause them pain. I agree with others: do what you want, but don't judge others.

MillieMoodle · 24/09/2016 15:36

DH and I chose not to put anything about my pregnancy on FB, mostly because I was very anxious that something might go wrong. We told close family and friends by phone or text. DH put an announcement up when DS was born last week and I have put up a couple of photos since. If you don't feel comfortable announcing your pregnancy on FB, then don't. Lots of my friends have put scan pics on FB and I love seeing their announcements but it wasn't something I felt comfortable doing personally.

buddahbelly · 24/09/2016 15:41

I think do what you like really, i have suffered from numerous mmc's so whilst seeing someone else announce their pregnancy does hit me with a slight pang of jealousy i just think all scan pictures all look the same anyway and are only really special to the 2 parents and immediate family.

but them i'm battling with an excited auntie on my friend list who keeps sharing the same scan pic saying how she cant wait for snuggles...even the poor mum doesnt bother with facebook, so for that reason i do find her attention seeking.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 24/09/2016 15:43

I didn't as not on Facebook. Probs my wouldn't have even if I was. Don't really care what others do and I doubt they would care about what I did! Do what you want and congrats SmileFlowers

RuskBaby · 24/09/2016 15:46

It's personal choice, we didn't tell anyone outside of our immediate family until 20 weeks. It has been a long road to our pfb (31 weeks) and we didn't want to share. Since then we told friends and then extended slowly, most people now know. We have friends over the country and Europe so will when we are ready put a note on Facebook after baby arrives, it's our choice just like it is others not to.

DownWithThisSortaThing · 24/09/2016 15:50

Also I find it hilarious when couples break up in the years down the line and have to delete all of their wedding photos and baby announcement/pregnancy photos with the caption "WE are so excited.." "WE'D like to announce" etc..

Oh how side splittingly funny, a couple - with children - going through a divorce Hmm

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 24/09/2016 16:15

Yes I agree down it's a bit twisted that post Hmm

Stellabystarlight · 24/09/2016 16:35

YANBU not to 'announce' pregnancy that way, we didn't either. But each to their own. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

Omgkitties · 24/09/2016 16:37

Also I find it hilarious when couples break up in the years down the line and have to delete all of their wedding photos and baby announcement/pregnancy photos with the caption "WE are so excited.." "WE'D like to announce" etc..

You're right that's fucking hilarious. Hmm

I don't see why you'd delete it anyway, it still happened.

Perhaps wedding photos I can understand although I probably wouldn't but not pregnancy photos. Even though I am longer with the person I was with during that time Id still have my kids wouldn't I?

Just find everything you said ridiculous.

FlatWhiteToGo · 24/09/2016 16:39

YANBU. We haven't put anything on FB and have asked family and close friends not to put anything up. Partly because we are so anxious about something going wrong (although deep down we know putting something on FB doesn't affect that in any way). Partly also because all the pregnancy announcements absolutely killed us when we were struggling to conceive. If we hadn't been through everything we did, we probably would have just gone ahead and made some sort of announcement though! Funnily enough, a few people have been a bit 'off' with us about the fact that we haven't put anything on FB and that they didn't know I was pregnant, which I find quite bizarre in itself!

rhiaaaaaaaannon · 24/09/2016 16:41

Do what suits you. I've got a few friends who didn't want to share on fb so just did group messages or said in person.

I liked to put mine on. I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed getting lots of nice messages.

PhoebeGeebee · 24/09/2016 16:46

I didn't put a scan picture on but I did make an announcement. Barr getting engaged and married, it's pretty much the biggest thing that's happened in my life and given the rest of the shit I post on FB, it would have seemed odd to keep this to myself.

Do it if you want to. Don't do it if you don't want to. If you think it's tacky, fine. If you think you're jinxing things, fine. But surely social media is about sharing important things in your life?

RubbleBubble00 · 24/09/2016 16:47

Depends who's on your fb. Mines limited to family (lots of ect dead who we dont see very often but do like) and a very small group of friends. We put scan photo up to announced as saved ringing all the extended family

NavyandWhite · 24/09/2016 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YorkieDorkie · 24/09/2016 16:50

We didn't announce but YABU to say sharing scan pictures is tacky. There's not a thing wrong with sharing them and I'm cringing a little at the judgypants attitude.

YorkieDorkie · 24/09/2016 16:54

AgainPlease Jesus Christ. Confused

RainyDayBear · 24/09/2016 16:55

YANBU to not announce. YABU to say it's tacky to announce it though - I don't think there's anything wrong with that. We told close friends and family really early on, we told extended family and other friends after the 12 week scan, and announced on Facebook after the 20 week scan. Personally I am always taken aback when people don't say anything and then suddenly post a picture of a newborn, not that they have to announce their pregnancy. To each their own!

EasternDailyStress · 24/09/2016 17:03

My niece announced her pregnancy on FB by posting a photo of bun in her oven. No words, just the picture. I thought it was great.

[just trying to lighten the mood here]

CoffeeAndEnnui · 24/09/2016 17:06

We hadn't by 26 weeks, not wanting to tempt fate after losses, and were debating the best way to handle it. But then a funny outtake from an interview I'd done for a movie release gave us a lighthearted way of sharing the news without a big 'announcement'.

My FB is set to private and limited to real world friends. I think I'd have felt odd doing a big taaa daaa if I'd had colleagues or more casual mates on there. It seems like such personal news. Perhaps the journey to get there made me more cautious.

Bishybishybarnabee · 24/09/2016 17:09

Do what you like, not unreasonable. Calling others tacky for doing what they like is unreasonable. Different people use their own social media in different ways, trying to find some superiority in the way you do it is odd.

(As is the PP who finds marriage break ups 'hilarious') Hmm

SabineUndine · 24/09/2016 17:12

Goodness there are a lot of people on here queueing up to take offence. This is what I really don't like about Mumsnet. I hate Facebook and although I have an account, I rarely use it because so many people have a complete lack of boundaries when it comes to posting personal stuff. So, OP I would say YANBU.

SabineUndine · 24/09/2016 17:12

PS: to all the people taking a deep breath to troll me now, I'm not coming back to look at replies, so go ahead.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 24/09/2016 17:16

Entirely up to you, OP.

I certainly take the point people make, about possibly regretting if you had a bad outcome, but I think there's another side to it.

I didn't say anything, with my first pregnancy, because I thought it was a bit attention-seeking. And then I miscarried, and I felt a bit funny, because the flip side of not having mentioned it is that you're then caught feeling you can't talk about it.

My DP's pregnant now, and we announced it on FB because she's so excited and pleased, and so many of our friends don't live anywhere near, so it is great for her to be able to say it. Looking back, I wish I'd been less worried about looking tasteful, and had just swallowed my pride and mentioned it.

But - that's me! That may not reflect how you're feeling at all, and if you're just not keen on mentioning it, don't.

TaterTots · 24/09/2016 17:23

It's your baby - you don't need permission.

I personally walk on eggshells re: pregnancy mentions on FB after making a post in all innocence tagging a pregnant friend. This was when everyone knew - or at least, I thought everyone knew BlushBlushBlush

MitzyLeFrouf · 24/09/2016 17:25

Oh please.

Do you think anyone is going to say you're being unreasonable for not posting scan photos on Facebook?

Tell people about your pregnancy in whatever way you like. But no need to judge other people for doing it differently be that a Facebook post or hiring a plane to write a message in the sky.