Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to the GP for this?

84 replies

user1471496670 · 24/09/2016 08:16

I've been a long time lurker but this is my first post so be gentle!
I'm 38 years old, separated and have decided at this stage in my life I really want a baby!
My husband never wanted children but my new partner does and we're very keen to start trying while we've still got a bit of time on our side.
At my partner's suggestion I've made an appointment at the GP for next week to discuss what we need to do to prepare...folic acid etc
But....is this the done thing or will the GP look at us like we're mad? Should I just be googling such things? I'm a well educated professional but literally clueless when it comes to ttc! But obviously don't want to waste a GP appointment if it's unnecessary.

OP posts:
RoganJosh · 24/09/2016 08:18

I did this, and the GP did look at me as if I was a bit mad, but then arranged a blood test to see if I was immune to German measles, which I was.

phillipp · 24/09/2016 08:19

I am not sure there is much a GP can advise apart from folic acid and have sex around ovulation.

Although they don't usually do investigation until you have been trying a while. Perhaps you could have some private fertility tests?

How long have you been with your partner?

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 24/09/2016 08:20

I would think it's OTT. Why do you need a GP appointment for?

Just take some folic acid and that's that.

eurochick · 24/09/2016 08:21

You really don't need to see a GP. Have lots of sex and take folic acid. If nothing happens after six months, then see the GP b

bomfunk · 24/09/2016 08:22

Crack on with the shagging!

Rachcakes · 24/09/2016 08:22

Honestly OP? I'd just crack on. Hopefully you'll get pregnant soon. If so, see your GP then. If not, see your GP then.

OhTheRoses · 24/09/2016 08:23

I did that 23 years ago. She said some people felt it best to have three cycles after coming off the pill. She didn't tell me about folic acid, she didn't tell me about the amazing project at Kings which involved a scan to look at the nuchal fold.

I saw her about five months later after miscarrying at seven weeks and wanting advice about conceiving again. What she said rang in my ears for years "Did you want IT".

I changed doctors, but no I wouldn't bother. There are forums and google now. Although it makes sense and you'd think it would be a helpful thing to do.

RubbleBubble00 · 24/09/2016 08:25

nah, just start taking folic acid and crack on

RubbleBubble00 · 24/09/2016 08:25

If nothing's happened after 6 months I'd be going to see the gp

Original poster
user1471496670 · 24/09/2016 08:26

I don't know why I need a GP appointment Chardonnay, that's why I'm asking the question.

We've been together a few months but known each other for over 20yrs. We're planning to start ttc around Christmas and didn't know when to start Folic Acid/stop the pill - whether there was anything specific I should be doing due to my age/weight (I'm a little overweight at a size 16 but go to the gym 5 x days a week so physically fit and healthy). A friend had been given a higher dose of folic acid due to weight (or age!).
Just wanted to do whatever I can to start things right and minimise risks due to age and a previous miscarriage at 16wks.

OP posts:
Freezingwinter · 24/09/2016 08:28

Go to the GP and tell them everything you've told us. If nothing else you'll get some reassurance. People go the GP for less! Good luck ttc.

StrongBelwas · 24/09/2016 08:31

You aren't divorced yet? If you have a baby while still married the law will class your husband as the father, just in case you didn't know. Even if you put DP's name on the birth certificate.

I agree that you really don't need a GP appointment.

Annie592 · 24/09/2016 08:34

Hi OP, how exciting :-) There's a book called Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler that I found invaluable when we were trying. As others have said the GP is likely to say 'take folic acid, have regular sex and come back in 6 months if nothing had happened'. Some GPs still say to come back in a year- but if you're over 35 then advice is definitely 6 months now. Obviously if you have specific health concerns then go, but otherwise I don't think they'll do much. I tracked ovulation when I was trying- some GPs don't seem to like this in my experience (they say it's too stressful and you should just relax!) I guess it depends on the person- I would have found it much more stressful not tracking and not knowing roughly when I was ovulating, especially as my partner and I have jobs where we are away a lot, so timing was so important. There are also apps that are really helpful- I used Glow, which is free and helps you track your cycle and tells you when you're most fertile. Good luck 😊

lightcola · 24/09/2016 08:35

Take the folic acid now and stop taking the pill. Use condoms for the next few weeks if you don't want to fall pregnant yet but it will do your body good to flush all the contraception out (although saying that I fell pregnant with my first after missing 2 pills)

KatharinaRosalie · 24/09/2016 08:35

check out the conception boards here and you will get way more info than from a 6 minute GP appointment

Original poster
user1471496670 · 24/09/2016 08:35

Thank you for all the advice - For and Against! It's helpful.

StrongBelwas I didn't know that...in what way??
We will be getting divorced and husband is happy to proceed with that whenever I tell him to. It's a VERY amicable separation. We remain very good friends and are having a lawyer-free divorce which should be relatively quick and easy to go through.

OP posts:
RubbleBubble00 · 24/09/2016 08:36

Stop pill now and use condoms. Is always took at least 3 months for pills to clear my system

user1473282350 · 24/09/2016 08:36

Our GP clinic suggest you do this.

They would much rather you have a ten minute appointment with them where they can give you advice to you getting pregnant without knowing a part of information that would lead to risk to you or the baby.

To all the people saying about Folic Acid - some people actually need to take a higher dose of folic acid (via prescription) and GPs can do this in the first appointment - they suggest you take it for 3 months before TTC. So whilst information about folic acid is out there, for some the guidance is different.

Secondly, if you are taking any medication they can discuss this with and also refer to a specialist for consultation if need me to seek advice. And of course they discuss all the healthy lifestyle advice too, and the avoidance of vitamin A supplements too.

user1473282350 · 24/09/2016 08:38

I forgot to say the most important bit -

GOOD LUCK.

NerrSnerr · 24/09/2016 08:38

Stop the pill and use condoms until you want to start trying. Take folic acid from now. If you don't get pregnant in about 6 months then go to GP. We didn't do any of the ovulation testing or anything, just had sex every other day.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 24/09/2016 08:39

Well, if you don't know why you need an appointment then most likely you don't need one.

Highlandfling80 · 24/09/2016 08:42

Agree I had to take a higher dose of folic acid due to my weight but I was much heavier than you op. It took ages to get a prescription as Gp didn't know about it. Ended up starting it at about week 8 of my pregnancy. Also needed vitamin d.

Lonecatwithkitten · 24/09/2016 08:43

I always find the GPs suggestion to wait after stopping the pill bizarre. The most fertile cycle is after you withdraw the progesterone widely used in veterinary medicine to get cows pregnant, widely used by female vets to get pregnant at a suitable time.

PGPsabitch · 24/09/2016 08:43

You don't need to see the gp until you've ttc for six months and want reassurance and testing. It would be wasting an appointment unless you have preexisting medical conditions which could affect ttc.

Take folic acid, vitamin d, get shagging and if you use lube then use lube that'd better for ttc.

Simmi1 · 24/09/2016 08:45

I was your age OP - I just came off the pill and was pregnant within a couple of months - I didn't wait 3 months for the pill to clear we weren't even have loads of sex - just when the mood took. I started taking pregnacare as soon as I found out I was pregnant - although probably should have started the folic acid as soon as we started TTC.
No need to go to the doctors. I went when I found out I was pregnant and they acted like I'd come too soon even though the posters say to go to the GP as soon as you find out you're pregnant Confused