..to be annoyed that DH speaks to MIL every day!

[Mummykt]

I need to know whether I am going mad and being very petty. DH is an only child and is very close to his parents. They moved away (altho only a 2 hr drive!) a couple of yrs ago and our dd was born last June. Altho I get on ok with his parents I find myself increasingly annoyed that he phones them every day and if at home he always puts it on speaker phone so they can speak to dd (altho they visit for a day every 2 weeks). Why do I find myself so annoyed at this? I have had a rough few months, including losing my own mother 4 months ago, but this was a problem before then. Before my mum died his parents started to get into the habit of phoning me every day to ask about dd and I have to confess I stopped answering their calls - it just felt so intense and suffocating! Am I being unreasonable? DH thinks I am sick in the head to be 'jealous' of his relationship with his parents.

I am sorry to hear of your mother's death. It must be incredibly hard watching your husband enjoy what you no longer can, at the expense of family time.

It sounds like talking is the only way through this - plus he needs to be sensitive to you at this time.

I would, however, be delighted if my boys chose to call me daily .

I speak to my MIL everyday, technically she is my exMIL but I would never ex her. We have a great relationship, I often have lunch round at hers or take her out for lunch. Maybe it anouys exH, don't care .

yes yabu but you are probably grieving for the loss of this closeness with your own mother
allow yourself time

also accept that perhaps the death of your mother has made you mil and dh closer given that the loss was so close by
it's great that they are so close and natural, celebrate and exploit it when you are feeling a bit stronger

As my DCs get older I think more and more about the perspective of the MIL. Would I like to speak to my DS every day? You betcha. Would I like to speak to my hypothetical grandchildren every day? Yes please. Would I like to speak to my daughter in law regularly? I hope so ... How would I feel if my DIL resented my calls? I'd be gutted.

Old thread...

you do all know this thread is 2 years old ??

I think YABU about him speaking to them every day, but not about the speaker phone thing - if it were me I might feel as though it was almost rubbing my nose in the fact that my mum had gone (she died 20 months ago), even though I am sure that is the last thing your DH would be doing.

I don't think it is at all necessary while your DD is so young for his calls to be on speaker; and I can totally understand that while you are still grieving for your mum that it could feel like an invasion of your family time - I don't think I'm explaining what I mean here very well, but I know that when my Mum was dying, I had MIL, her sister and her best friend all staying here cos they had come over for our wedding, and it was desperately hard to hold any level of normality together while they were there - I just wanted to be able to let go and have DH comfort me in my own space, without having to be "social". Luckily they were all nurses and were very good about it.

So I am empathising, without being very coherent.

NO! is it 2 years old? then why is it back?

holy oedipal complexes, batman

the replies of some on this thread have really cemented for me the fact that certain people will always always look to villify the husband and MIL in any AIBU post.
i mean FFS the op isn't being a bit unreasonable, she's being completely unreasonable.
not to mention controlling and trying to destabilise someones relationship with their parents.

wtf?i've been tricked again.
why the hell would this thread be resurrected?

My ex's mum used to phone every day, just to chat, it used to annoy me. I got caller display. I'm not really one for chatting on the phone though. If your dh wants to speak to his mum every day, I can definitely see why you're annoyed, but some people are just like that with their parents.