What's the weirdest house rule you've ever experienced as a house guest?

[Creativemode]

Just that really.

Mine is someone that wouldn't let me flush the toilet incase it woke their children.

Also another wouldn't let me go upstairs to the toilet incase the stairs creaked and woke their children (there was no downstairs toilet).

I had a school friend that wasn't allowed fish and chips in the house because of the smell.

This thread makes my only tale seems very tame!

DH and I stayed with friends for a very long weekend one hot summer, in what appeared to be Fort Knox. At bedtime the hosts secured all eight bolts, locks and triple-locks etc. on the front door, and told us we should use the bathroom before going to bed as we couldn't get up during the night. Because once we were all in our rooms the anti-burglar pressure pads were all activated.

It was a sweltering hot weekend and I usually sleep with my window open anyway, but when I asked for the key I was told that the windows had to be locked as they were all alarmed. I said OK, I'd just leave the bedroom door open then, but no, they were alarmed and had to be shut too.

I really thought I was going to suffocate, I was so unused to such a hot airless room, and although I had water to sip, I didn't want to have too much in case I needed a pee. Both DH and I had a miserable, sweaty night and when we woke up, both bursting for a wee, the hosts were obviously still asleep so we had to sit there desperate, sweating and gasping for air, until they woke up and switched all the alarms off.

And they both nipped into the bathroom before us! Needless to say we never stayed with them again.

An ex boyfriend's mum used to insist we all flossed our teeth after every meal. This was casually done whilst watching telly as the floss sticks were passed round...

Place Marking to read and add my own later

I'd love to know how you misuse a vacuum cleaner. The mind boggles.

I do wonder if some of the excessively odd rules (towels on seats for guest, no bins in the house) are a function of some sort of undiagnosed mental health issue.

I don't have any odd rules stories of my own. We used to visit my Great Aunt regularly when I was younger and she was very eccentric. There was a front room that was kept immaculate and only used for best that you weren't allowed in but I don't recall that being particuarly unusual. The house was like a Victorian Museum though - she had an old gas range which she used to cook on. Beautiful food too; home made scones, bread, pies and all sort of cakes. She didn't get it replaced with a normal cooker until I was in my teens.

Thefairy- I had something similar as a child when I used to stay for sleepovers at a friend's. I never usually get up for a wee in the night but when you're told you can't because of the burglar alarm I always felt desperate!

I had a landlady who gave each tenant a list of rules which included leaving curtains open during the day and having the heating set at a specific temperature. She also had standard issue curtains and blinds for all flats which were identical - think cheap, nasty grey 80s striped. You were NOT allowed to change them for your own, even if you put hers back when you left. She had conniptions once because my neighbour put her own curtains up.

She also got very odd about tenants having visitors - she once knocked at my door to ask who the person she'd seen going into a neighbour's flat was. And these were about 10 self-contained flats so not even rooms in her house.

No talking when the wrestling is on telly. Couldn't quite follow the logic - I think of wrestling as mostly a visual spectator sport. We could talk any other time when the TV was on.

Surely it's obvious how you misuse a vacuum cleaner? Or do I just have a filthy mind?

My DD (7) has been trying to enforce a house rule on me - I am not allowed to talk to the birds in the garden when I put food on the bird table because my DD gets jealous! We have a colony of really tame collared doves who practically land on my head when I bring out the food and they like being talked to, they go all fluffy. Apparently this gives my DD the hump because they are getting 2 mins of my attention. So apparently it is now forbidden :-o

They go all fluffy? Aw!

Oh my nan has a good room and your not allowed in on pain of death it's for visitors apparently

This is a very common "north" thing - a room "for best" - which, roughly translated, meant for funerals, and Christmas lunch. If someone popped their clogs they'd be laid out there. The room would often be crowded with glass-fronted cupboards stuffed with bone china crockery and wine/champagne glasses that rarely, if ever, got used.

The man of the house would be sat in "his" chair in the lounge, and youngsters would often congregate in the kitchen/diner.

Yeah it's definitely a northern thing - I'm from the NE. We weren't posh enough to have a "best" room but my best friends mum and dad did.

We have a house rule that if the bathroom window is open, the door must be shut (the same goes for other upstairs rooms). It probably seems odd to some people, but it's to stop my blind cat jumping out of the upstairs window (she's done it to downstairs windows)

"I don't think the smell thing is that weird. My friend won't have curry or any sort of crisps."

I was really annoyed when a friend brought home a curry. I had told him he'd have to take care of his own food, but I didn't think he'd choose something with such a strong smell. I considered it quite anti-social. I suppose I'm a bad host.

I knew a family that had the "good" room (known as the parlour); but they lived in a tiny house that basically only had that one room plus a galley kitchen
They all squeezed into the kitchen to watch tv, all sitting in a bloody line because there wasn't even room for two abreast. But they couldn't spread out in the parlour because it had to be kept nice in case the priest came round for a cuppa!

Another northern thing is never using the front door.
After my grandma died we were all gathered in her front room waiting to go to the funeral and my uncle said 'I've made sure the front door opens' and then when it was time to go we all trooped out through it.
I always thought it was just her personal preference to always use the side door but it turned out it was her cultural heritage...

MiL's house is a minefield of potential problems.

No shoes in the house - that's fairly common for the continent. I used to take my slippers, but they prefer sandals - go figure.

Of course, toilets feature highly in her concerns. No logs in the bog UPSTAIRS (downstairs is fine). Why ? Because she's on a water meter and is convinced that the one upstairs needs more water to flush. The one downstairs, however, is unheated and very high of the ground (she had it built that way "because it's healthier") and have an "inspection platform" that can make you suffer from severe "splashback" if you're not careful. It also requires a lot more "post operational care", shall we say. Shall we proceed upstairs ? Maximum of one light on at a time "to save money". The upstairs bathroom has a shower and a bath. The bath is only ever used to wash hair in, as a bath is "too expensive". The shower is temperamental and takes ages to warm up, but if you are in there longer than 90 seconds, and she's in the area, she will bang on the door to stop you "wasting water". You have to wash like you are on a boat. Wet yourself, turn the shower off, soap yourself, rinse off, and towel dry yourself. Towels must be hung a certain way, in a certain order. Then the shower must be cleaned, the mat on the bottom hung on a certain peg in the shower, and the 3 part door evenly spaced to ensure it dries quickly. Windows are open in the whole house most of the day, even in deep winter "to stop the house getting damp and smelly". She even sleeps with the window open, whatever the weather.

Lighting is often an issue. She had dimmer switches fitted "because if the light is dimmer, it uses less electricity". She only uses one lamp in the lounge with a dimmer switch turned right down for just that reason. She never uses the normal light in the kitchen as it's "too expensive", but is happy to use a strip light in there.

I could go on, but it would depress me further. I have 10 days there this Xmas. Wish me luck.

I live in a block of flats on the ground floor and can hear all my upstairs neighbours when they flush their toilets. I wouldn't expect them to not flush during the night!
Actually I hate that horrible stale wee smell so much I would insist that all people/visitors must flush the toilet everytime (and put bleach down it) if I had anyone staying here overnight.

Riceuten have you told her about energy saving light bulbs?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel
I must have a similar dirty mind because I'm thinking the same as you!

MIL's house. Staying with our baby. Any time a nappy is changed the nappy must be taken straight out the house and off her land - it was over 800m to the end of her drive (completely unlit) which when you baby poops at 3am is a long way!

Provide a screenshot to prove my phone was free of both malware and viruses before my FIL would give the wifi password

I once lodged in this woman's house where the rule was no food allowed in your room, not even a cereal bar, because it "upsets the cats" (i.e. they might smell it and get upset they can't have some). I wouldn't have minded but the woman had about ten cats who were indoor only, worked full-time, and the entire kitchen was filled to the rafters with about a dozen heaped litter trays and food bowls. Boak.

There was also a kind of wire enclosure built around the kitchen door so the cats could go outside and enjoy the fresh air and a small patch of grass, but the cat flap was broken. I wasn't allowed to use the front door, so leaving meant exiting into the enclosure, getting on hands and knees (grass covered in cat shit), reaching inside cat flap to prop it open, then crawling out of the enclosure without any of the cats escaping.

Utterly barking.

Flew to oz from the uk to stay with my brother and his now ex wife. Arrived at about 10pm to find her bleaching the grout on their tiled hall and living room floors. There was a pathway sectioned of with duplo bricks showing us where we could walk.

The next day, when I woke up, I was told my breakfast was in the fridge. She'd toasted and buttered bread, wrapped in cling film and refrigerated an hour or so earlier then put toaster away in a cupboard.

We're still in touch despite the ex status and she still baffles me.

We have a no flushing after baby in bed rule... This sort of thing happens when you have a light sleeper and a year or more of being sleep deprived... To be fair, I don't impose it on guests, although DH did try and encourage his parents not to flush or take early morning showers...