What's the weirdest house rule you've ever experienced as a house guest?

[Creativemode]

Just that really.

Mine is someone that wouldn't let me flush the toilet incase it woke their children.

Also another wouldn't let me go upstairs to the toilet incase the stairs creaked and woke their children (there was no downstairs toilet).

I had a school friend that wasn't allowed fish and chips in the house because of the smell.

Argh, wrong thread!! Apologies!

Damediazepam and Acrossthepond55, I simply visit as little of possible. Even more so since they ignored a food allergen and gave me food with it in. Within minutes I was very unwell. We went home pdq. I spent the next ten days I'll in bed, trying absolutely everything to keep food down. I then ended up being rushed to hospital with chest pains, which was due to my heart developing difficulties) and being kept in for six days. I'm never going to eat there again, unless I take my own pop and ping meal with no allergen and not contaminated. They think my food allergen is a attention seeking fad. They've argued with the doctors before when I've been in resuscitation, that I'm a hypercondriac. Machines don't lie. Doctors are trained: my DP's aren't, even remotely. They've now been banned from the hospital when I'm there.
All the rules that apply in their house, don't apply in ours. They drop by unannounced when they've been for a muddy walk and walk all the mud in, but wanting a "free" coffee.
Needless to say I see them as little as possible for precisely their unreasonable and rude behaviour. I'm totally over the moon tbh; I can't be doing with the stress, hassle, criticism and verbal abuse from them at all. It's not nice in front of my DC either too and not a good example to set them. For me, it's very much a case of out
of sight, out of mind! 😊😊😊

Reminds me of this sketch. :)

God, User that's awful!

I have Coeliac and I just can't imagine the pain of having your own family 'poison' you on purpose! That's absolutely disgusting and as far as I'm concerned knowingly feeding someone something they're allergic or have an intolerance to should be a criminal offense. It's really just a form of assault, isn't it?

I don't blame you for staying away from them as much as possible. I'd probably put up an electrified fence around my house!

My mum made a cake with butter once, to test me. She thought it was all in my head too.

It wasn't. Nearly killed me.

Stratters

That is shocking.

Now I wouldn’t swear in someones house anyway unless it was a really good friend or something. But at an acquaintances house we got told on arrival "only men are allowed to swear in our home, please refrain if you are a female as it's unladylike and will bring bad luck in the house"

First visit to mil's house there were complicated rules about how to flush the toilet, which spoons and knives to use and what time to do things. I cheerfully ignored them all and, a decade later, they seem to no longer apply.

This thread has me creasing up and shocked all at the same time! I don't think I could visit some of these people's houses!

My grandmother has lived on her own for quite a while now and has always been quite houseproud, but of late it has become fairly difficult to avoid he multitude of minefields when visiting her. Rules include:

-All shoes must not only be removed at the door, but have one of those bathroom air-fresheners placed inside each one - a selection of these are kept by the front door
-If you are just popping in or don't want to remove your shoes a separate stash of disposable foot covers (think a thin pair of galoshes, or perhaps a shoe condom) is available and a pair must be worn
-Children are allowed over but must only play on the 'play rug' - a blanket/mat/throw thing that gets laid out on the carpet and toys/children must not leave incase they "scratch the furniture". Age of child is irrelevant
-Food is offered, consistently, and without acceptance of 'no' as an answer, from the minute you arrive - even if you have only just been out for lunch, or explain politely you aren't hungry. If you refuse one food item more are offered in its place, so a conversation might go as follows: "Do you want a sandwich?" "No thanks I'm not hungry" "What about something smaller, like a yoghurt or some fruit?" "No really I'm ok" "WELL I don't have much else! Handful of nuts? I can do you a jacket potato? You like those with cheese" "No, I don't want anything" "Let me know then when you want a sandwich." JUST FFS NO!

Yep, my parents were real charmers.

Not really a rule but bloody odd experience with ex boyfriend

Stayed at his mother's house (we were teenagers) on a work night and had to get up at crack of dawn to shower, she told me make yourself at home, take your time, etc.

Had been in the shower less than 2 minutes, literally, when she bangs on the door crossly and demands I hurry up as I'm holding up the bathroom (nobody else had other commitments that early and there was downstairs loo)

This was also the woman who told me to help myself to breakfast and then grumbled at my having dared have two slices of toast

Stratters what happened? Did you end up in hospital?

All the talk of lights reminds me of my (now deceased) grandparents, who lived in an immensely gloomy old farmhouse. The lights would get switched on only at the sunset time printed in the newspaper, regardless of the weather or light conditions. Their eyesight was awful and as they got older they spent a lot of time tripping over things but no, you couldn't possibly have the lights on because of the cost!

They kept an old black and white TV because the licence was cheaper. Nothing wrong with that but the TV didn't actually work properly so it only had half a picture.

Yup Moz. Thing is, my mum is the world's worst hypochondriac - actually not sure if that's the correct description, it's more of an illness oneupmanship - if someone, anyone has something wrong with them, she has to have the same, only worse. So I was diagnosed with asthma as a child, she then 'developed' asthma - even though in the 18 years I spent at home I never once saw a single sign of her actually having asthma. Same with the allergies (although God alone knows why anyone would want to pretend that, it's a MASSIVE pita, and so restrictive).

She's bonkers. My old NDN (who was wonderful, disliked my mother intensely, and the DDs surrogate granny owing to the uselessness of their actual maternal grandmother) had terrible heart problems, and my mum used to try and outdo her, one day they were circling like cats doing this, and my NDN pulled down her top and hissed 'well I've had open heart surgery'.

So basically Stratters, your mother is jealous of your real illness/allergy. Pretty sick.

Does it include trips to the Dr with her 'complaints' or just moaning about them to all and sundry to keep the attention on her? Possibly Munchausen Syndrome?

Bloody hell Stratters. That's fucking insane. Agree with pp^^ about munchausens... That must have been bloody dreadful

Yep, she is jealous of other peoples' ailments, yep that's sick and insane, and a huge part of why we are NC. Sister is given to inventing dramas for attention - we've had fake appendicitis to get out of exams, being verbally abused at the train station (made her report to police, zero evidence on CCTV, just sis wandering out of entrance straight to phone box), fake asthma attacks to get lifts, fake being bullied complete with abusive notes, fake abusive boyfriends.

Whole fucking family is insane, I'm genuinely the most normal of the lot, my Dad is a fully paid up card carrying narcissist too - he invents stuff that actually becomes real in his head if he voices it (world's fattest volunteer coastguard anyone?)

What the... I'm NC with my parents and sister but that is next level! You're well out of it that sounds exhausting to be around

Hah, I had an ummm interesting childhood. Did the ACE test (on CDC website) and only said no to one question.

stratters I shouldn't laugh but that sounds like my sister. (I have a few)

She apparently has rheumatoid arthritis, is allergic to paracetamol, can't take aspirin due to asthma nor ibuprofen, GP can't give her pain meds unless she goes into hospital yet she can manage to do loads of stuff. EXCEPT when people are looking I've caught her before. I'm on the bus and she's walking past without the limp and hobble she puts on in front of us.

She did the same during her pregnancy claiming she had SPD and ditto the 'can't take meds' thing.

This all came about after I had a diagnosis of carpal tunnel. I have intermittent flare ups at mo. Perhaps every 2-3 months and I'm out of action for a couple of days - pain killers take the edge off but don't kill the pain. I know it will get worse and need diff treatment in the future but I'm doing the whole rest, non repetitive task, exercises from physio thing and it works. She has been so jealous of the help that I get when it is bad and she'd like it too.

I'm a migraine sufferer ... so she is.

This is also the sister who tried to claim her DS had autism when my DC was diagnosed with sensory processing issues etc

Sat there and said my MCs couldn't have been that bad because I wasn't crying (I'm not a public griever and prefer to deal with it through therapy and private blubbing)

claimed I had lied about all 6 MCs and my fertility tests.... until I showed her the letter from my consultant and the result of some genetic testing.

Ditto that my DC doesn't have a chromosomal issue. Showed her the letter she claimed I'd faked it.

Just this week she has claimed my GCSE's and alevels are all a lie and I never finished school

I am NC but obviously other family members aren't so I end up hearing about her antics. Its amusing and bloody exhausting

Despite having lived together for nearly 10 years, DH and I weren't allowed to share a bedroom at his parents until we were over 30.

Wearing isn't it Twat? The endless need to be No 1, even with quite horrible things. Weirdly, they never competed against each other, instead they feed the other's neediness, they're great enablers.

Whenever I stayed over at my boyfriend's his mum would examine the sheets the next morning and then complain LOUDLY that the whole bed needed stripped because we'd been 'bonking again'.

She then started leaving a neatly folded hand towel at the side of the bed. For bodily fluids apparently.

Apparently she did this with all her sons' girlfriends.

So the rule was: no wet patches on the bedsheets please! Use the spunk towel instead

She should've provided a penis beaker.