What's the weirdest house rule you've ever experienced as a house guest?

[Creativemode]

Just that really.

Mine is someone that wouldn't let me flush the toilet incase it woke their children.

Also another wouldn't let me go upstairs to the toilet incase the stairs creaked and woke their children (there was no downstairs toilet).

I had a school friend that wasn't allowed fish and chips in the house because of the smell.

How do you police the "no farting allowed" areas of your house? When it's done, it's done, surely? You can hardly put it into reverse...
Are dire punishments meted out on the spot? Is the culprit ignominiously frogmarched from the house while you stand on the doorstep shouting "never fart on darken my doorstep again"?

In my opinion, the militant non-farters are only one step below the 'burn the sanpro' and 'DONT TOUCH THE WALLS!' lunatics mentioned above. Madness is relative.

KarmaNoMore oh god yes. They don't believe you at all.

They think I'm putting it on with my allergies. I have 4 types of steroids - inhaler, nasal spray, cream and ear drops - all because I'm allergic to dust mites & pollen and have psoriasis. I Take daily antihistamines too. No normal person would fake that

I have IBS. No farting rules won't stop me. In fact I can't even stop me some days

I'm not policing the non farting, never stated it either. I don't think people tend to fart in company if they can help it. Same as the "no shitting in the sitting room" rule really. Never said it, doesn't happen except for very young kids, the old and sick. If somebody gleefully farted at dinner they'd not be invited back. But it has never happened so far.

As mentioned, if somebody is ill it's different obvs.

I once stayed in a hotel (for my SIL's wedding - my husband booked it) somewhere west of London.

When I arrived, the lady said that she'd nearly given away my room "because we hadn't called to confirm it". Yes, she wanted us to book it AND ring up a second time to confirm it.

The door got locked at midnight. No keys were to be taken out the hotel. Cue a mad scramble for taxis as loads of people were staying there - in the end one guest turned up a bit before midnight to grab everyone's keys. Except that wasn't allowed so this person had to sit in the reception (she was staying somewhere else) with the lady glaring at her so that the bridesmaids etc could get to their rooms in time.

Madness.

One of my very dear friends is a complete control freak. I only visit once a year (she lives about 200 miles away) at max because my nerves can't take it.

You're only allowed six minute showers in her house. One day I must have been in the shower for considerable longer so she came into the bathroom (no lock on the door), opened the shower cubicle, turned off the shower and told me I'd finished. My hair was covered in conditioner.

When I was at primary school I had a friend whose parents kept their cheese in a padlocked box in their fridge because they didn't want the kids eating it. It wasn't super-expensive cheese made with angel tears or anything like that. It was just cheddar. Padlocked cheddar.

We had guests in our house who asked US not to flush the toilet at night, in case it woke their child.

I ignored that. So did DH. The child slept all night...

Being told to take shoes off when entering a house.

Being told not to flush the loo would give me the rage, with my IBS

Shoes on or off is such a normal thing to ask now, I don't really think it has a place on this thread tbh.

Prudish parents switching over for bra commercials reminded me that my mum was a bit like that if ever anyone kissed on TV. She was fine with a peck on the cheek, but if it was lips you'd feel her tense up from the other side of the room. And if it went on into a proper snog, the nostrils would flair, the breath was drawn in, then she'd say, "I think we'll watch something else". It's not as if I was a little kid at the time either, this went on into my late teens and early 20s.

I have to say I do love this thread!

These days, I dislike staying in other people's homes and will do utmost to avoid it.

I remember staying at a friends house when I was about 10 and her very smiley, friendly mum said "This is the bathroom. You can use it to brush your teeth, shower, wee if you have to but obviously don't poo!"

You can really see where the League Of Gentlemen got their ideas from by reading this thread; the early post about three sets of towels, especially.

Lots of bonkers rules. And some really disturbing things that sound like abuse too :(

My MIL makes me often feel uneasy, because she's quite particular about putting things on particular plates & how food is displayed/served.

My best friend at school's parents were also people I couldn't relax around. I remember being told off about how I ate cheese & bread & the living room was always very show home like too, so I would be scared to move.

We don't flush overnight either. It stems from having a very light sleeping ds.
Our en suite's extractor fan kicks in when you switch the light on. I'm a light sleeper, so DH just switches on the small light over the sink when he gets called out at night. I wouldn't impose that sort of rules on visitors though.

Wrt bins, we get alternate recycling and normal waste collections and weekly food waste collections, so our kitchen bin really does only need emptying weekly. So much can be recycled that our grey bin isn't full after 2 weeks. Recycling is overflowing though. There are 6 of us + a cat & dog.

i totally get the not flushing at night. My first was the lightest sleeper ever and woke with any sound, including the creak of a floorboard. He did not sleep through the night until 19 months so for almost that, we never flushed. Wees only I will add. Otherwise he got a wake up call unfortunately. couldnt ask guests to do it though.

When I arrived, the lady said that she'd nearly given away my room "because we hadn't called to confirm it".

This has happened to me twice. First, i a lovely little B&B booked about 6 months in advance. The woman said she had called me two days before I was due to arrive and as I didn't call her back to confirm my booking, it was cancelled and someone else was already in my room. I wouldn't have minded but she didn't leave a message so all I had was a missed call from an unknown number so I didn't even know she'd called. I had to traipse around finding something else and ended up in a much more expensive, nowhere near as nice place. And I was charged a cancellation fee!

Second time not accommodation but dinner reservation in hotel. You had to reserve your table in the morning. Nothing anywhere written about confirmation but when we went down to dinner the man said they had called our room to confirm and no answer so gave away the table and we had to wait another hour for dinner.

Some of these are genius but some are downright scary!

Might have to impose some bonkers rules for a giggle

Just making my way through this thread, and staggered at lots of these! Especially the toilet ones. Two sheets only for a number 2 is crazy. How is this possibly enough to wipe?

Years ago when I went in to my first job after graduating, I was looking for a room to rent in a new town. One of the ones was a couple who were very anal about what went in the kitchen cabinets. You could only have ingredients and pans in the cabinets directly around the hob. If it wasn't used for cooking, it categorically couldn't be in that cabinet.

Needless to say I carried on looking.

90 day, I think I would have gone mad if a friend had invaded my privacy like that.

Oh the odd accommodation ones have reminded me of something.

I was lucky enough to go on holiday earlier this with a friend who had come into some money and very generously offered to foot the bill. The resort was all inclusive (this is relevant) and prided itself on being very friendly and welcoming.

It was very nice except for one thing. To eat at any of the several restaurants, you had to reserve in advance. No advice was given on how to do this (no instructions on the room or at check in) this but I managed to work it out by process of elimination. They also didn't bother explaining that you weren't allowed to book the same restaurant more than once! Having to go through this frustrating rigmarole every day spoilt the relaxing aspect of the holiday somewhat and didn't much contribute to us feeling welcome.