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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What's the weirdest house rule you've ever experienced as a house guest?

750 replies

Creativemode · 21/09/2016 14:49

Just that really.

Mine is someone that wouldn't let me flush the toilet incase it woke their children.

Also another wouldn't let me go upstairs to the toilet incase the stairs creaked and woke their children (there was no downstairs toilet).

I had a school friend that wasn't allowed fish and chips in the house because of the smell.

OP posts:
LittleBeautyBelle · 22/09/2016 18:44

"Walk on the plastic runner so the carpet won't get dirty." No, the house wasn't about to go on the market. No, the plastic runner wasn't temporary. No, there wasn't a renovation going on or new carpet being laid.

AcrossthePond55 · 22/09/2016 18:48

Paxillin "Hum a happy tune when using the loo."

May I suggest 'Whistle While You Work'?

tanfield90 · 22/09/2016 18:50

There appears to be a massive amount of OCD going on in the land of Mumsnet. Where does it all start and why ?

Never has the tagline 'my house, my rules' seemed so fitting for so many crackpots.

squizita · 22/09/2016 18:53

Is it just me that wonders if the ultra earnest (eg the no Internet when visiting their daughter parents) and ultra clean (various toilet related ones) might be those MNERS who boast and lecture on some threads about pretty much these things... I wonder if they are reading this thinking the rest of us are the weirdos.

tanfield90 · 22/09/2016 18:54

If you want a suitable song to perform while you perform in the loo, may I suggest an old Cat Stevens number called 'I Can't Keep It In' ? Happy crapping folks but no flushing after 6.15 pm mind.

ShouldHaveBeenJess · 22/09/2016 19:06

TheField. Love the 'whoosh' sound effects, although I still can't get my head round this! And as for 'What's she put in there?' - just stop. Am getting laughter lines from this thread.

happyvalley4 · 22/09/2016 19:19

I have an Aunt who doesn't allow people to fart anywhere apart from in the bathroom. Now my DH is rather gassy Grin and when we were staying there he had a particular gas problem which meant he was leaving the room every 5 minutes, going into the bathroom, closing the door and then coming out again. If was hilarious! GrinGrin

Katherine2626 · 22/09/2016 19:21

I was told to sit well back in the armchair so as not to crush the edge of the cushions, as I was 'rather heavy'. Little bit insulting for 9st. Didn't visit again as didn't want to destroy upholstery with my huge bulk.

limitedperiodonly · 22/09/2016 19:30

MIL takes a dim view of people who get toast crumbs in the butter rather than using the butter knife to cut off a knob and put it on the edge of their side plate. I passed, SIL failed and wailed at my BIL: 'Why didn't you tell me?'

MIL is all right really

limitedperiodonly · 22/09/2016 19:32

I wonder if they are reading this thinking the rest of us are the weirdos.

You could be right Squizita

user1467798821 · 22/09/2016 19:37

We stayed in a B&B just down the road from PIL on their 40th Wedding anniversary, as they were having a party and we didn't want to drive the hour home. MIL went down to book it and explained the occasion and was told by the landlady that we had to be back by 11 or she was locking the door! We managed to stretch it till Midnight but she had turned off all the heat and hot water until8 am the following morning ( mid November). Funnily enough she went bust a year after

paxillin · 22/09/2016 19:41

AcrossthePond55 Whistle while you work would do nicely. How will I force people. It is a nicer rule than rationing bog roll or sit on the floor.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/09/2016 19:47

I have an Aunt who doesn't allow people to fart anywhere apart from in the bathroom. Now my DH is rather gassy grin and when we were staying there he had a particular gas problem which meant he was leaving the room every 5 minutes, going into the bathroom, closing the door and then coming out again. If was hilarious!

Which is what anybody with manners would do!Shock

Herhighness · 22/09/2016 19:48

She lives five min walk away so at least twice a week. She's 88 !.

rosyvalentine · 22/09/2016 19:57

Not being allowed to bring our wheelie cases into the house until the wheels had been disinfected Confused

WildRoses · 22/09/2016 20:11

Oh these are just mind blowingly hilarious. Thanks OP. I haven't got any but I'm loving the thread.

NorksAreMessy · 22/09/2016 20:21

Anyone suggested classics for this yet?..it really needs to be preserved for eternity

Redesul · 22/09/2016 20:22

Herhighness My nan did very similar things to yours, she only allowed bathing once a week, and as previously said, would quite happily reuse water. She'd only do washing once a week, and even then only two loads at the most. She'd rarely have the heating on. Things were also kept until falling apart, and then usually repaired. Gifts and things would mysteriously disappear . She'd get super annoyed if you tried to help her clean the house, which she did every day. Any ornaments she had she'd coat in layers of varnish. She would take fruit to bed too..

She was great, my nan. Very stubborn and secretive, and always acted cold and cantankerous. She was lovely though. She suffered a lot of trauma in her life, her parents were quite poor, her mum was blind and deaf due to complications from pneumonia if I remember correctly. I think they were also Irish Catholic. Her dad used to beat her mum. Fast foward a bit, my nan had several husbands (not all at the same time..), she was told she'd never have kids of her own. She adopted a son (who still has no idea is adopted, my nan kept that very quiet, we didn't find out until after she passed away. Where we also found out her age and date of birth etc), then she managed to get pregnant with a different husband, then again with a different husband, then again with a different one. She never told anybody who they were, her kids don't know their fathers, except for my mum who did know hers. Her first biological child was killed in a motorbike accident when he was 17. Fast forward again, her last husband died of a heart attack while driving a lorry. She had "boyfriends" after that, one of whom was driving her into town, he had a stroke at the wheel, crashed, car flipped, she severely damaged her back, he died at the scene.

AcrossthePond55 · 22/09/2016 20:26

Whistle while you work would do nicely. How will I force people

Paxillin I suggest standing outside the loo door and saying "All together now, 1, 2, 3........" and starting to sing. They may not sing with you but I guarantee you won't need to worry about them using your loo during future visits. Grin

And they may even start a thread about you on MN!! You know, "My crazy relative/friend insists on singing to me when I use their loo. AIBU to insist that they at least sing a song of my choosing or I shall take my 'business' elsewhere?"

paxillin · 22/09/2016 20:26

I don't have a house rule about it, but I do expect guests and residents alike to fart in the loo or outside.

paxillin · 22/09/2016 20:27

Stands outside the loo, clapping. Altogether now: Wind the bog roll up, wind the bog roll up, pull, pull, clap clap clap. Wind it back again...

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 22/09/2016 20:28

no jumpers tied around the waist in the house
howling at some of these Grin

HorridHenrietta2 · 22/09/2016 20:28

Have thought of one. A good few years ago now I went away with a church youth group to a large Christian retreat centre. Six of us were sharing a room and there were two bunk beds and a double bed, which was fine as two girls (sisters) were happy to have the double. Just as we were getting settled a manager came in and kicked up a big fuss saying one person would have to move to a different room because he couldn't knowingly let two women share a bed as it "promoted homosexuality" we tried in vain to explain that they were sisters and in a room of six people so there was zero chance of any sex happening but he wasn't budging.
It's still a house rule now, two people can only sleep in a double bed together if they're married.... Bonkers!!

SarcasmMode · 22/09/2016 20:32

My sister doesn't like us to talk in a normal voice downstairs when her DS goes t bed.

I understand you don't want a racket but to not have normal noise isn't good for him as he wont always have quiet.

I knew someone who insisted you had socks on whenever not in bed, for hygiene purposes.

lemonzest123 · 22/09/2016 20:33

Reading these cracking up and being glad my fam are normal......then remembering my DF has banned baseball caps in his house Hmm