We do most of the cleaning on Friday to Sunday. Typical day means;
Breakfast around 7am. Make partner's lunch, find all the bits he needs whilst he changes a nappy (he's so hopeless in the mornings, but I'm hopeless in the evening so balances out).
Once he's out, feed the dog, let her out. Feed, wash, clothe baby. Put Ben and Holly on, sort out kitchen/put on wash. Make coffee, come through, find child without trousers, wrestle put them back on. Drink cold coffee. Switch off Ben and Holly before the theme tune makes me lose the plot.
Wait for the postman not to turn up. Postman will turn up if baby is napping on me (baby will not nap anywhere but on me). When baby wakes, put dog out again (dog is old, so quick outside and back to sleep), start on lunch. Plate lunch, put child back in trousers, put in high chair. Watch child try and feed broccoli and pasta to the dog.
Afternoon, clean floor, put out all of baby's expensive and well chosen toys. Watch child ignore all toys, and throw all DVDs on floor. When picking up said DVDs, turn around to see baby chew on Hoover nozzle. Give in, put on Peppa Pig, try to remember all the reasons why I quit smoking.
Try afternoon nap, fail. Offer banana, which ends up everywhere but mouth. Clean up banana. Settle down baby who's sad at losing banana. Smell dog farts for the next hour as dog eats bits of missed yellow mess. Put washing on to dry.
Afternoon nap, usually get a message from partner that he's on his way home. Put kettle on, throw any missed DVDs back on to shelves, heat up oven, put dog out. Know partner is home, as shouts 'where the bloody hell is this child's trousers?'.
Hand over baby to partner, hide in kitchen for next hour whilst he re-dresses and tries to put actual food into the little monster darling. Listen to him call me a saint for being able to manage all day with pantless, food throwing child. Sit quietly with my beautiful baby and let partner do the dishes, before starting the sleep-time routine.
It's exhausting, but that should not need to be said. It's bloody obvious when all written out, if your partner sees fault, he should pick up the slack. Having a child does not turn you into the housemaid.