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AIBU?

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Original poster

Waiting to 6pm and no later for dinner together

377 replies

LovelyBath77 · 20/09/2016 18:57

My husband is self-employed. He gets a bit huffy as he likes us all to eat together, but I say we usually wait till 6pm is and go ahead with the children's dinner as they get a bit hungry by then. I usually have something with them.

AIBU?

OP posts:
flowery · 21/09/2016 15:41

"It's nice if we are all together, but otherwise I'd rather have three of us together at least. And we have a nice time, and chat about stuff and laugh."

We do that anyway. I'm just not physically eating with them. I sit with them and talk to them, I'm just not putting food in my mouth at the time!

motherinferior · 21/09/2016 15:52

Oh, I couldn't be arsed with that. It's 7.30, dinner time, and I'm hungry. Especially if I cooked. And especially if it's something like a stirfry or pasta which is nicer eaten straight away. If their father is going to linger over 'just one more thing' in the office till 7ish, I'm not waiting around for him. Should he feel the urge to rejoin the bosom of his family, he knows where that bosom is.

Nice bloke, Mr Inferior, but dreadful for staying at work late.

OvO · 21/09/2016 15:56

6pm is the very earliest we'd eat dinner. Closer to 7pm is more likely, or 8pm if there's been sports clubs.

Even when small (mine are 8 and 11) we didn't eat any earlier.

They get something at 3.30pm as they are "staaaarving" and that keeps them going.

I can see dinner time being even later as they grow. My DS1 is now out and about with friends after school more often - to get a decent mooch about town play in he doesn't come back until 6pm and even that feels early tbh.

My DH is home before dinner time so not a problem but in the OP's case I'd try to eat all together twice a week if possible. Surely it's nice for your DC to do the whole family dinner thing just a few days a week?

motheroftwoboys · 21/09/2016 16:42

What do you all do that you are able to eat at 6? I am usually just having a cup of coffee and a sneaky biscuit at work to mark nearing the end of the day. I now work in school admin but before that worked in tv/silly hours. 9 p.m. has always been our regular time for dinner - even if I say we are going to eat early it always works out at 9. Love it on holiday when our dinner time seems ridiculously early. We were in Sicily this summer and people still queuing for restaurants at 11.45 p.m.

allegretto · 21/09/2016 16:49

We eat 7.30 ish all together and always have. 6pm is very early - usually we're still in the park or st work at that time!

Yorkieheaven · 21/09/2016 16:59

Can now understand why so many children in my TA days at primary school yawned all day and looked half asleep. Was the late tea! Grin

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 21/09/2016 17:04

I would also feed the DCs at 6pm and then have my dinner later with DH.

It's no fun sitting at the table alone.

My DCs eat at about 5.30pm on a school night. The youngest is 5 and goes to bed at 7pm. Eating at 5.30pm allows time for digestion, bath & stories before sleep. Any later and she'd be exhausted at school the next day.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 21/09/2016 17:07

We eat anywhere between half 5 and 8 o'clock, depending on clubs and activities. The dc get a snack at getting home from school time, and that will be more or less substantial depending on when we plan to eat. Op yanbu as such, but if your dh communicated a bit more when he did expect to be home could you maybe eat together a couple of extra days a week? Or put a bit more emphasis on special weekend dinners to take the pressure off midweek ones?

EweAreHere · 21/09/2016 17:08

It's not healthy to go to bed straight after dinner. Adults and children.

Six is not early for children, and if they're going to bed soon after that, you certainly shouldn't be holding dinner for a grown up who can be responsible for his own food.

bringonyourwreckingball · 21/09/2016 17:09

My kids eat between 6:30 and 7 depending what I'm cooking - we don't get in til 6 most nights. If DH is going to be home by 7:30 we will wait and all eat together, otherwise I eat with DH unless he's going to be super late in which case I eat with the kids - they're 8 and 10. Sometimes we do shower first and eat in pjs if it's a late one on a school night.

NeverNic · 21/09/2016 17:10

Weekdays I wouldn't even entertain waiting until my OH got in for dinner. He commutes from London and the service is so shit, they'd be asleep at the table by the time he got in. They tend to play with the food when they get tired too, so really it's done by 5.30 or they don't eat properly. They are capable of waiting until 7 when lunch is later, but really id rather they ate early and got to bed at a reasonable time. OH eats with them at the weekends.

theDuchessInTheDodgeCharger · 21/09/2016 17:13

i don't think it's class but rather cultural. I'm not british and I'm quite offended that DP ( british ) eats at 6pm with the kids , when I have to rush to be home at 7pm. I accept it because it seems to work for my youngest ( 6 ) who seems to function better if put to bed between 7 and 7.30. But I hate it because I eat on my own most nights.
I think it's ridiculously early , how can anyone with a full time job be home and have the dinner ready by 6pm? It's the time I leave work most days and I have a special arrangement ( start earlier, finish earlier ).
Early dinner times have always baffled me in the UK.
But then again I was born in France and have never seen anyone capable of sitting at a dinner table, whatever their age, start eating before 7 or 8pm ....
As for kids, there is always a substantial snack at 4.30 when they finish school back home, so it's no problem lasting until 8pm for dinner.

user1473454752 · 21/09/2016 17:17

Gosh we have our tea around 4.30pm

imwithspud · 21/09/2016 17:19

Eating late wouldn't work for us. We generally sit down for dinner between 5-6pm. My eldest starts pestering for dinner from around 4pm onwards and me and dp have always eaten dinner at around that time (unless working late etc).

Dc are in bed for 7 most nights so we couldn't leave it any later. Dp works shifts so there are occasions where he doesn't eat with us, or I'll eat later with him depending on my mood. He doesn't mind as long as we make an effort to eat as a family when we can like at weekends and stuff.

Your dp is being unreasonable, maybe you could compromise sometimes and eat later with him? But don't make the children wait, it's not fair if they're hungry.

I'm amazed that 6pm is considered early for some, but I appreciate that some people work later meaning eating dinner earlier isn't possible.

missyB1 · 21/09/2016 17:20

My 7 year old is in bed by 7.30 so definitely to eat by 6. Can't get my head around 5 year olds eating at 8pm, what time would they get to bed??

My husband is often home late so I just feed ds and eat later with hubby.

Carlym26 · 21/09/2016 17:24

I eat with my toddler about 5pm ish dp eats his when he gets in which ranges from 6:45pm-1am. He only ever gets in at 6:45 when I'm off to work at 7:30pm so I don't like to shovel my food in and go out. I also eat with my little one as it means he sits and eats. Dp is also a noisy eater so actually prefers to eat alone so I don't nag at him lol Blush

theDuchessInTheDodgeCharger · 21/09/2016 17:28

missyB1 I remember 8.30/9pm being my approx bedtime when I was at primary school :)
I'm not saying it's better but I don't quite understand the idea that going to bed after dinner is bad for you ... if you eat at 4.30pm you will be hungry again by 7pm?

Sancia · 21/09/2016 17:33

"What do you all do that you are able to eat at 6?"

Live near work?

Outside of London, this is actually a thing. No hours of commuting here. Finish at 5, home by 5.20.

I must admit I'm very interested in the difference between UK children's bedtimes (where we're told 6-7pm ish, though mine are more like 8pm) and continental ones, where children stay up til 9, 10, maybe 11. I assume they're all perfectly fine in the mornings and they all survive, so what is it with our long sleeps? Are we just fond of getting rid of them for an evening... ? ;)

Sancia · 21/09/2016 17:34

I only cook one meal, too. So, between 6.30-7pm. I cook something decent from scratch and there's no way I'm doing that twice in an evening.

user1471552005 · 21/09/2016 17:34

My kids ate their evening meal at 4pm when they came home from school.

maybe it's a regional thing, when I was growing up every one would have their evening meal or "tea" around 5pm.

Cordychase · 21/09/2016 17:41

Eating after 7pm regularly isn't good for anyone, especially young children who would then be going to bed on a full stomach. I thought everyone knew this....

theDuchessInTheDodgeCharger · 21/09/2016 17:41

Sancia you are prob right.
I've lived half my life in Paris, the other in London, so I assumed that commuting times were the reality for most parents .....
Yes, French kids go to bed later, they also go to school a bit later ( never before 9am as far as I can tell in my family/friends ). They have long breaks, a long lunchtime, finish school at 4.30 if their parents can pick them up, 6/6.30 if not.
I'm sure it gets later the further south you go ....

Mynestisfullofempty · 21/09/2016 17:44

Cordychase I'm rarely in bed before 3 am, so I don't think my 8pm dinner is harmful.

Sancia · 21/09/2016 17:46

What's the big deal about going to bed on a full stomach?

user1471552005 · 21/09/2016 17:47

mynest- is that because of work you get to be so late?

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