DH and menstruation cup

[Booboostwo]

I am honestly not sure if BU, but happy to acknowledge I might be if everyone thinks so.

A couple of years back I bought a menstruation cup (after reading threads on here), freaked at its size and promptly hid it in a cupboard. Then I read a blog that urged readers to put their brave pants on and try the bloody thing out since they had already bought it, so I did. Turns out it is brilliant! I've always felt very uncomfortable with tampons and have a reaction to sanitary towels but menstrual cups are just wonderful. Shame I am close to the menopause really.

To the BU bit...I tried discussing all this with DH and he said it was disgusting and he didn't want to hear anything about it. I didn't offer to show him the cup or how it works, just wanted to rave about how great it was. Did I have to? Well maybe not, but why not? I've discovered a wonderful product and wanted to share with him and frankly I am a bit insulted he finds talking about menstruation so disgusting. For the record I have inspected his anal fistula when it was healing after his operation without making him feel in any way self-conscious or upset, and have put medication on seven verrucas he had on his feet (feet, bliah!) which he had allowed to become enormous because he'd ignored them for months. DH and I talk about anything, this is the first time he has refused to talk about something.

[Booboostwo]

Here is why I want to discuss it with him:

• my periods have always been painful. They used to be debilitatingly so and now I am OKish with paracetamol. With the cup I have no pain at all. I have no idea why this is but it is certainly news worthy to me. If DH had had on and off pain for almost the whole of his life and found something that relieved it I would want to know about it.

• tampons feel odd, from uncomfortable to cringe worthy. I am always aware of them and if I make a mistake and insert them near the end of my period when they are dry I feel awful removing them. I can't feel the cup, which is a huge improvement.

• sanitary towels make me itchy and affect my eczema, again the cup does away with all that discomfort.

• I also wanted to laugh at myself because it took me years to pluck up the courage to try one and I am a grown woman!

[Milklollies]

The only time I get a fistula is from anal sex. Was your husband playing without lube?

Everyone has their limits I guess. To everyone who's comparing blood and his anus.... A clean anus is no different to any other body part however blood itself can make some people faint, can sicken some people. I for one don't care where I see blood but I have to close my eyes and think of Hawaii if I ever see any blood in person.

[ClaireFraser]

OP YANBU, menstrual cups are brilliant! I use a meluna and have done for the last four years. It turned periods from being a painful, messy hassle into just another day.

I can tell with mine when it is going to need emptying as I get a 'full' slightly heavy feeling. I empty it at 7am when I get up and then don't need to empty again until I get home from work at 6pm so rarely need to empty it at work. Then I empty it again just before I go to bed. Have never leaked with it, I'd say I have a medium-heavy flow.

It takes a little getting used to, so the first few times I'd suggest trying it on a day/evening when you're at home. Bear in mind that if you don't wear it from the immediate start of your period you will prob need a liner as back up for the first hours as there will already be blood in your vagina that hasn't been caught by the cup. I track my cycles and usually know when to expect my period, but because there's no risk of TSS you can put the cup in 'just in case' if you think you might get your period that day. That's a massive bonus in itself - no getting caught out.

I fold mine in half lengthways, insert it and then rotate slightly so it pops out into place. I think it depends on your cervix etc as on the leaflet I got with my meluna it shows the cup just held in place in the vagina, but I find it suits me best to sit it over my cervix like a little hat. I then run a finger round the rim to check its popped out and in place. And then forget about it for the next 12 hours!

To get it out I just squeeze the main body of the cup to break the seal, twist very slightly and then just gently wriggle it out. i don't use the stem so cut that off, but meluna give you the option of ring, stem, ball and no stem, plus come in lots of different sizes and colours. this is their size guide to help your work out your size. And here is the website I got mine from, they have a huge range of all sorts of cups.

One tip about emptying it for those who haven't used one before, stick some loo roll down the loo first before you empty it, otherwise can the blood can pool there and take a few flushes to go.

If I'm out and about and I have to empty it I don't bother rinsing mine, just a quick wipe with loo paper if needed and back in. It's really not messy or gross at all, less so than a tampon and definitely less than a pad, and there's no smell with it all.

I have gone swimming with mine in, cycling all day, mountain walking all day. It's hassle free when out at friends or if you have to use a loo where there might not be a bin.

I wish to god I'd known about them from a teenager. I got my first period at 12 and when I think of how awful and messy they were and having to carry/change San pro at school and the leaks and sports and changing rooms. Oh it would have made life SO much easier! I imagine there's a much bigger range of types/sizes available now than when I started my periods 20 years ago, I know you can definitely get them in smaller/softer cups for younger girls/women. My DD is not even two yet, but when the times comes I shall definitely be wholeheartedly recommending to her! The environmental benefits are a tiny side benefit for me, as far as I'm concerned the main massive benefit for me is how easy it makes periods. I almost look forward to them now!

Massive post I know! But the advice/experience of others was invaluable to me when I started using mine and I would never go back to using anything else now.

[raisedbyguineapigs]

I absolutely love mine! I havent spoken to my DH about it though. He's probabyl just glad the bin isn't full of used tampons though!

[MargotLovedTom]

But..but..but..can't you feel it in there? It's looks thicker than a tampon. And if it's just sitting in the vagina doesn't it start working its way out, or does the seal effect keep it in place? And if you have to squeeze it a bit to break the seal aren't you going to squeeze some of the blood out if it's full?

I am intrigued, as you can tell , because I have shit periods, but I don't want to spend money on something I might not get along with.

[BaggyCheeks]

Margot It is bigger than a tampon, BUT it's soft and flexible so it bends and isn't rigid inside you like a tampon is. I only felt mine the first day or so while I was still getting the hang of it, and until I cut most of the stem off. My bleeding lessened with it in - how I have no idea - but I went from wearing a pad in the morning that was saturated, to the cup being half full by bedtime after buying it at around lunchtime.

[ShowMe]

Margot. It can be messy when you are getting the hand of it but it's worth it. I used to carry a little bottle of water and some wet wipes with me when I was out and about it but now I'm a seasoned Mooncup user I don't need to bother.

My periods are very heavy as I'm pre menopausal and I still find a Mooncup a million times better than tampons

[RhodaBorrocks]

Chuff chalice is great. My XP used to call it my Muff Cup (rather than Moon Cup).

OP do you have kids? If so, what did DH do when you gave birth? Was he in the delivery room handing out cigars? [/Friends reference]

[littleshirleybeans]

I don't see how it's grim if my boys come into the bathroom when I'm in there. When I was toilet training them, I had to let them in as I had to show them what was what! I think that's fairly common with mothers?
I found it weird at first but I had to get over myself!
After all, they were used to being in the bath with me! When they were small, I had to take them into public toilets with me when we were out so I just got used to it. So did they. They were also used to getting changed at swimming with me.
They don't think it's weird, or grim. I don't either. Just normal bodily functions. I'm their mother, not some random woman off the street
I'd honestly rather see these things as perfectly matter of fact. Periods shouldn't be all mysterious and secretive. That doesn't mean that I announce it to the world, I certainly don't! I first had to tell them as I couldn't take them swimming one time and eventually had to explain why.
I believe in being matter of fact about things. They still sometimes come in the shower or bath with me, doesn't bother either of us.
I don't let dh in the bathroom when I'm in though!!!!!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

If it's in the right position it can't be felt at all Margot.

I can empty one,rinse,re insert and my fingers stay clean. Is not messy at all.

They are minor miracles

[MargotLovedTom]

Thank you for your answers. Sorry to hijack your thread OP.

[Threesoundslikealot]

OP, I can see exactly why you'd want to share your excitement with your partner. It's a big part of your life really. For him to cut you off because he thinks periods are disgusting but subject you to daily run downs of his shit is unfair of him.

[amusedbush]

I use a Meluna cup and DH knows I do but he hates discussing any sort of bodily function. It's perfectly okay for him to punctuate the evening with a chorus of farts though

[Booboostwo]

No problem Margot!

So today right after the low down on the daily toilet activities I pulled him up on it and subjected him to a ten minute monologue on the virtues of the cup! MN 1 DH 0

[MrsNutella]

Nice work booboo serves him right and seems more than fair to me!