DH and menstruation cup

[Booboostwo]

I am honestly not sure if BU, but happy to acknowledge I might be if everyone thinks so.

A couple of years back I bought a menstruation cup (after reading threads on here), freaked at its size and promptly hid it in a cupboard. Then I read a blog that urged readers to put their brave pants on and try the bloody thing out since they had already bought it, so I did. Turns out it is brilliant! I've always felt very uncomfortable with tampons and have a reaction to sanitary towels but menstrual cups are just wonderful. Shame I am close to the menopause really.

To the BU bit...I tried discussing all this with DH and he said it was disgusting and he didn't want to hear anything about it. I didn't offer to show him the cup or how it works, just wanted to rave about how great it was. Did I have to? Well maybe not, but why not? I've discovered a wonderful product and wanted to share with him and frankly I am a bit insulted he finds talking about menstruation so disgusting. For the record I have inspected his anal fistula when it was healing after his operation without making him feel in any way self-conscious or upset, and have put medication on seven verrucas he had on his feet (feet, bliah!) which he had allowed to become enormous because he'd ignored them for months. DH and I talk about anything, this is the first time he has refused to talk about something.

[PeppasNanna]

Exactly molly

[Whathaveilost]

I not understanding his reaction but I'm not understanding the need to rave on to someone about a moon cup either.

It wouldn't have occured to me to discuss it with DH. Not in a dirty secret kind of way, just that it wouldn't have occurred to me.

[Heebiejeebie]

Some of my female friends are disgusted by the idea of a mooncup. I don't think you should be too annoyed with him - unfortunately lots of us have been brought up to think that periods are embarrassing and unmentionable. I desperately try to hide it, despite knowing there's no reason to do so Let's all do a better job with the next generation. Half the world spends 1/5 of the time menstruating for 40 years. It's not that weird.

[MargotLovedTom]

I think there's something to said about retaining a little bit of mystique in a relationship, and that goes for verrucas, arseholes and faecal output as well as menstrual blood .

[MargotLovedTom]

If I mentioned a mooncup in a positive way to DH, he'd probably react by saying "Thank fuck for that!" as he knows my periods make me feel like shit. If he started regaling me with lengthy descriptions of his dumps I'd have to ask why the hell he thought I'd be interested - I'd only want to know if there's something amiss and he was worried.

So... Mooncups. Is inserting one similar to putting in a diaphragm, because I found that a bit uncomfortable?

[littleshirleybeans]

I don't invite them in to watch as a lesson, it's more that they might just happen to be there or come in when I'm in the middle of it. I quite honestly don't see it as a big deal. I don't want them seeing the female anatomy as anything that mysterious either, just a body part different from theirs.

[Floggingmolly]

they might just happen to be there . Why not just wait till they've gone?

[ImissGrannyW]

He knows it goes in the same place he puts his willy, right?????

[littleshirleybeans]

Floggingmolly
I quite honestly don't see it as a big deal. If they come in while I'm in the shower/on the loo/whatever.... Well, I don't bat an eyelid. Neither do they.
Honestly, I'd rather just be matter if fact about things and so would they. They know they can ask me anything and I'll give them an honest answer. Backfires on me at times, tbh, depending on what they've heard at school but I'd rather that heard it from me properly.
It IS possible to insert a tampon quite discreetly!

[ShowMe]

I've raved about my mooncup to my DH but I know if I went into detail that he wouldn't like it. He's squeamish about blood and wouldn't like any discussion about any blood so I think that's ok. He's buy tampons etc in my pre-mooncup day and happily looks after me if I'm suffering from period pain etc but I respect his right not to hear the finer details of my period. 🙊🙉🙈

I really wouldn't like to be told about poo unless it was necessary as I would find it 'disgusting' . Is that childish? I get that poo'ing is a normal bodily function but I'd rather not discuss it in any detail. 💩💩💩

[MargotLovedTom]

But is it like inserting a cap please?!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Not really as it sits low and not anywhere near the cervix.

[sparechange]

No he wouldn't ask as I haven't ever said anything about my periods. Why would I? Whst would he do?

A typical conversation in our house:
DH: Are you ok? You're looking a bit peaky/you're lying on the sofa clutching a hot water bottle/you're shovelling tea and chocolate down your face
Me: I've got my period
DH: can I get you some paracetamol/more ice cream/give you a cuddle/sort dinner tonight?

Or
Me: I don't want to go for a run/a swim/have sex/wear white/go for a long walk in the woods away from a public toilet
DH: why not?
Me: I've got my period
DH: DH: can I get you some paracetamol/more ice cream/give you a cuddle/sort dinner tonight?

If you are one of those magic women for whom life doesn't change one little bit when you have pmt or your period, you are wonderfully lucky. But I don't know any of my friends who don't need life to adapt a little bit for them, and it is really quite sad if you aren't able to communicate that to your husband because of some belief that periods are gross and should be a secret

[MyWineTime]

But is it like inserting a cap please?!
It is MUCH easier than inserting a cap.
It sits lower and the positioning doesn't need to be as precise as it does with a cap.
If you can use a cap, you'll get on with a mooncup (though it will still take a little bit of practise to get really comfortable with it.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I'm really lucky it seems, I don't need any help or to adapt life around my periods. I'm not a magic woman it's just how it is so I've never had to discuss it with any one.

I'm hitting menopause atm and suffering from hot flashes so don't be too envious, it's awful!

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

DP's always been great with these things, far better than my mother, actually (who is convinved that menstrual blood is far dirtier than normal blood and made me feel incredibly dirty with it when I was a teen).

I remember a conversation we had when we lived in halls when he wanted to know where my bedroom bin was and why, despite knowing fine well I'd moved it to the bathroom. He was far less embarrassed about it than I was, and was enjoying my mild discomfort!

When I used tampons I'd hand him the bag from the bathroom for him to throw on the fire and he'd take it with no reaction whatsoever.

He walked into the bathroom once when I was taking out my cup and didn't wince (I was taking it out for a reason and was assuming he'd be waiting for me in the bedroom, hence hadn't locked the door).

Before I bought some reusable towels I did ask if he'd mind them going into the wash with other stuff and of course he said no. He's more than capable of putting them into the machine, and taking them out and hanging them up (even on the line outside, he's not bothered about the neighbours seeing!).

[sentia]

I'm lucky as well to have relatively trouble free periods. But I still discuss them with DH in passing from time to time, like most sources of discomfort or annoyance in our lives - he supports me and I support him.

Generally in a "why do I have to have this monthly when I only want to use two of these eggs/fertile periods in my whole life, the rest seems excessive" vein, but also in a sympathy/practical sense eg heavy days do restrict what I want to do a little bit.

There's certainly nothing "disgusting" about it like OP's DH suggested, and I wouldn't shy away from talking about it.

[Floggingmolly]

But we're kind of veering away from the op now... Not being bothered by all things menstruel (sp?) related is one thing (and most men appear to be fine on that score); showing the sort of interest in your partners mooncup usually reserved for who won the football is asking a bit too much, don't you think?
It's just not interesting.
When I used tampons I'd hand him the bag from the bathroom to throw on the fire. Why, though? No reason for him to be repulsed, of course, but why try so hard to involve him??!!

[2littlepiggies]

Great, guess I need a LARGE then

[sentia]

Yes but the OP's DH described it as disgusting. I don't describe things I'm just not interested in as disgusting, do you?

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

When I used tampons I'd hand him the bag from the bathroom to throw on the fire. Why, though? No reason for him to be repulsed, of course, but why try so hard to involve him??!!

Because he was the person going to build, and light, a fire and I might not go anywhere near it. No try-hard about it, just practicalities.

[murphys]

I was thinking of getting 14 year old dd one... is she a bit young. She wont wear tampons as says they hurt her....and she doesn't like pads either much as she says its sore as they rub...

But, she is currently on her period. My 17 year old ds isn't all that bothered and we do talk quite openly in the house. The loo wouldn't flush as the doodah and goes into the flushy bit came out I can do it, but I just cannot name these parts I should add here so she called ds to fix the loo. She says don't look in the loo, so why he opened the lid when he was warned not to, god alone knows.... . Anyway, he waltzed out, said, oh fgs you could have forewarned me there was a pad in there!

And Margaret, I reckon you are spot on.

[BaggyCheeks]

murphys If she's happy to try it then she's not too young you might need to get her one that's softer though. The Lunette is meant to be good for teenagers www.babipur.co.uk/reusable-menstrual-cups-pads/lunette-menstrual-cup.html

Not wanting to nag, but does your DD know that pads aren't to go down the loo??

[MrsMushrooms]

YANBU! You weren't showing him how you empty it, FFS!

[tibbawyrots]

My OH knows I have periods. Though where it is this month God knows.

I do not discuss my sanitary protection with him same as we don't discuss bowel movements.

It's personal and what happens behind a bathroom door doesn't need to be discussed.

As for the pp who allows her sons to barge into the bathroom when she's in there that's grim.