to ask how important primary school is? Would it be okay to leave him at this school?

[AmberrrS]

DS is in Reception, we aren't in a particularly rich area... There's a variety of different houses, but we purchased a new one. It's lovely and the perfect house (BTW we hadn't even conceived DS at this point, so didn't even think of schools). However, there's 3 bloody prep schools! That are our closest schools. There is literally no schools in our catchment. We still put down all the good schools that were close by, even though they were out of catchment. We didn't get any instead they gave us the closest catchment and only catchment school - it's 8 miles away. It's awful. I thought I'd give it a go, just to see as I know not all schools are what OFSTED say. He doesn't like it... He comes home crying every single afternoon he refuses to let go of me. He sits hugging the TA all day, who is lovely, but has no issue telling me that that's the only thing he has done. She says it's okay because he was upset, which it's nice to know she cares, but I feel like it's feeding DS's sadness of you see what I mean? At breaktime he gets knocked over by older children (they don't have a separate playground) and has been pushed off the slide, but his class teacher said that it was because he has been told he isn't allowed on it, as only yr 1 + is allowed well why on earth let them be around it then! He's 4! He doesn't know that he can't go on it and if he does it's acceptable for older kids to push him

Sometimes the children get moved to the corridor to 'play' as their classroom needs to be used by a different class, so the children often wander off. DS had accidentally sat in a yr 1 lesson due to him not getting out the classroom quick enough before the yr 1 class went in.

It's a shambles. He only started on the 1st!

It's rated inadequate and I agree... Unfortunately we both work, we're not rich, we are both on national average wage, so doing okay and have an income of about £50,000 joined. I just don't know if it's worth looking at the preps... It seems like most of the children around us go to one of the 3. We wouldn't be able to go on holiday (which we do once a year) our mortgage is very high and we have a younger daughter so we need to think about the cost of her going too, so we would be very short of cash. Is it worth it?

Or would you leave him there for a bit longer and see how it goes? It's just quite far too and I literally feel like I'm dumping him at some kind of awful place.

How important is primary school?

I wonder if knowing it's an "inadequate" school has coloured your view of what has happened. None of what you describe seems particularly shocking/worrying to me. My DC has also just started reception and there is a child who clings to the TA most of the time. It's a wonderful school but he's taking longer to adjust to the routine. I don't know of any schools in my area with a dedicated playground for reception children, but I can think of a few who utilise the space between classrooms for activities. Unfortunately children bump into each other, nothing that can be done to prevent it. I would take some time, with the school, to make sure you've done everything to help him settle into the school before moving him. He sounds quite sensitive and the upheaval could make things even worse.

Speak to the teacher to find out exactly what is going on. Quite normal for Reception to be told not to go on play equipment today/at all.
Maybe your DS is not quite as mature as others in his class and doesn't listen to what is being said. He's finding school overwhelming. Have you considered having his hearing and eyesight tested?
Ask the teacher or assistant to make sure your DS has heard and understood any instructions.
Homeschooling is an option of course but it only works if you really love the idea. My DD homeschools her DC successfully and loves it. I'd hate it!

I'd move house seriously.
I'm currently moving house to move into a better secondary catchment and my dd doesn't start until next year- look at good primary and secondary schools have a look around meet the head get a feel for the school itself. But I'd look ahead to secondaries too we are in a outstanding primary catchment now so people think I'm mad when I say we're moving for the schools but this primary feeds into a secondary with a bad reputation in a deprived area it's not going to change that much in a few years so we're moving now.
Where do you both work maybe some mnetters can advise on good locations

The OP has clearly said that there are closer schools which she applied for but as she is not in their catchment (not all schools do the distance as the crow flies catchment, some have defined areas) her DS did get a place & is on the waiting lists.

I agree it sounds awful.

Given that moving house can cost £15k I would yse your salary to send him to prep.

Oyr combined salary is around 50k and I am currently considering my 2 to private secondary at a cost of 18k per year or moving. Ill worry about the extras later.

Just reading through, but want to answer as I go.

No, I said there were lots of schools, but out of my catchment, the further schools are the one that are in our catchment, which is very odd! But was told its down to how oversubscribed they are.

My salary would cover both their fees and extras as it would be £18,000 a year and then £7,000 for extras. DH's salary could pay for the mortgage. Yes, it would be tight, but it's possible for us, I've worked it out.

We are in a rural area, but not... It's a bit of both.

Will keep reading.

It's a 15k one off though.

18k a year after tax is at least 100k

Have you spoken to staff about any of this?
Moving house is a rather extreme answer.
It has been two weeks. If he is glued to a TA all day then how has he wandered off and got lost?
Working in a corridor might just be that some of the class were sent to the shared area to do something while the rest of the class did something else in the classroom.
If not then there may have been extreme circumstances that caused this to happen.

Have you factored in childcare? Do you work full time? Remember a lot of prep mums don't work and go to all the sports days etc. Will you mind missing them?

I would give it a year.

Yes, I've spoken to the school, that's where I'm getting the info from! I wouldn't believe much of it if DS told me and it's the way they say it that concerns me, it's not that the equipment is for the older kids it's the fact that the teacher was basically saying that he had what was coming to him for going on it.

I don't have any concerns about his hearing, he is a July baby. He saw a slide and went to go on it. But would be happy to get it tested.

Teacher comes out and speaks to mums at collection. Lots of jokes about how it was "a disaster in the corridor but X (the head) won't listen"

It was requires improvement in its last inspection and has gone down. What happens now then? If they have to make sure it improves? As it clearly hasn't.

Hang on - is it RI or Inadequate? It can't be both.

Reception is the foundation (literally) of his education.

He should be excited and skipping into school - even if he's shy when he gets there. He should not be crying or upset.

The school setup sounds dreadful and unless Ofsted trigger something or there's a change of HT I doubt it will change anytime soon.

There is another Dream House out there, you just need to find it.

Seren, where have I said its both? it's inadequate.

Is there any way you can home school?

You can fit everything they teach at primary in two hours of the day. The rest of the time you can do art, cooking, playtime, PE…

I would home school until year two or three, or until a place comes up, he'll be well ahead of his peers by then.

Actually if he's only four he doesn't have to be at school yet anyway. I would just stop bothering with this one and wait for somewhere better.

Winchester, I'm definitely thinking about it now. I can do shift work, so it way be possible for me to get more time at home. It just worries me a bit.

From the academic side, I wouldn't worry at all. I home schooled for a very short time and found that one on one teaching is so efficient, I actually started wondering what they did all day at school (obviously it's very different in a class situation !)

While you decide what to do it's worth looking into and seeing what materials you would need? Or if there's a home school network in your area? If you meet up with other parents who are doing the same thing it's reassuring. And also you can do 'enrichment' activities together.

Ah, just been looking at other schools. There an Outstanding Junior school that's 1.1 miles away and in catchment! It just didn't come up when I was looking as I obviously was looking at schools with a reception intake. It's infant school is good but out of catchment but it's closer

So hopefully, it's possible for me to do something from now until year 2, wether that's private, homeschool, etc.

That could work well

:) good luck, it sounds like you're on an exciting new path.

I must say I might be projecting a bit because, I've always envied people who had the guts to home school. I wish I'd done it for a lot longer. I did it very late in primary - and found out how effective it was and how lovely to have the kids at home.

Ah, I see. You said it was RI in its last inspection, which confused me. Was the inadequate inspection report since 'special measures' or 'serious weaknesses'?

No child of mine would spend any longer in that school than absolutely essential. Have you seen the head about the TA? She's not doing him any favours really.

Hmm. Doesn't sound like a very organised school. Agree changing schools is a good idea.

physically get a map and plot on it within a 10 mile + radius all of the schools in your area - infant, junior, senior and private. some of what you say about catchment isn't stacking up. if allocated 8 miles away, does he get transport because of the 2+ miles rule?

I think you need to first know what all the options are and then go and speak individually to the heads of all the decent schools in your area to see if they have a place.

no one wants to have their child at an RI school.

but if you knee jerk move now you might find that the senior schools don't stack up in future either.

if it were me, I would first collect all of the info, then go out and speak to people face to face and if I still couldn't get a place I would either move him to the private school or start looking to move house to somewhere that would be suitable throughout his school life.

its really important to get a good start and this doesn't sound like one. Nice house or happy, well educated child? in my view its a no brainer.

If I were you I'd move.